Healthy/Unhealthy Grieving your lost dog???

[amymarley]

Don't know where to start.... thanks for all the last posts about my beloved Chase (boxer).

He passed in November, under "fast" circumstances (brain "stuff").... Anyway, I know it's not been a long time, but I am still so saddened. Yes, I know, I will be sad forever, but sometimes it just hits me really hard at unexpected moments, like now!

I came back from Atlanta yesterday after spending 2 weeks with my family and my new niece, and even though I have a happy household with other pets, my hubby, my daughter etc...the house felt empty. Chase was....well, as most of you have/had your own "Chase," I still can not come to terms, which really pi**es me off....

I would love some coping advice.... I want to smell and kiss him again . I am actually (I think) going through a real depression that I have never felt before. I "act" strong for my family and business, but inside, I have a broken heart battle with myself.

Anyway, thanks for reading....
Boxermom, I may need you again soon.....
Amy

 

[CanadianK9]

Its healthy, and I know how you feel, it will be like this for a while, just try to give the love once given to the other, to a needing one. Not only will you feel better but the needing one will feel better too, grieving is hard, but we all stick it out.

Best wishes
CK9

 

[amymarley]

Thank you! I am just so sick about it, but I hide it from everyone (except here), because I feel I need to, not that my family isn't supportive, but I think more for myself. I am a strong person, or so I think, but this has taken a toll on my heart more than anything. I haven't had a lot of death to deal with even though I am 33 years old, but my 'lil man means/meant the world to me. The connection was so strong, I kissed every inch of him while he was being put down. Like I said, it was not a on going condition, at least on the outside. It happened so fast and there was nothing I could do, or I would have.
I swore off getting another dog, but in a past post, I retracted that....because there are others who need love and I really don't think I could live my life without wanting/needing another dog who needs help and a a good home. I just can't do it just yet. ****, I feel like an idiot...one moment I am o.k., the next a pile of mush....
(K, pulling it together now, but might have another outbreak at another time, lol)
Thanks for giving me "a moment."
Amy

 

[Boxer*Mom]

When a beloved pet dies, it's not unusual to feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your sorrow. Animals provide companionship, acceptance, emotional support, and unconditional love during the time they share with you. If you understand and accept this bond between humans and animals, you've already taken the first step toward coping with pet loss: knowing that it is okay to grieve when your pet dies.

Understanding how you grieve and finding ways to cope with your loss can bring you closer to the day when memories bring smiles instead of tears.

*Acknowledge your grief and give yourself permission to express it.

*Don't hesitate to reach out to others who can lend a sympathetic ear.

*Call your local humane society to see whether it offers a pet loss support group or can refer you to one. You may also want to ask your veterinarian or local animal shelter about available pet loss hotlines.

*Prepare a memorial for your pet.

*Give surviving pets lots of TLC ("tender loving care") and try to maintain a normal routine. It's good for them and for you.

You'll know when the time is right to adopt a new pet after giving yourself time to grieve, and paying close attention to your feelings.

 

[smkie]

after bronki died Mary his mum would not eat and was listless..i felt just as lost so even tho it was so soon i started looking at petsaver.com for about a week i didn't see anyone that seemed right until i saw Vic. Vic is not Bronki and will never be,,but he made me get up and out and he kept after mary until she too had to give in and show him some attention. He worked us like a pro and started to make us laff again. Now he is a part of our lives and my precious. I still sing my little song at night to Bronki (it was always his lullabye ) and hope somewhere he hears me..in the meantime Vic is sandwiched inbetween Mary and me feeling the love that we have to give. He really helped us. and us him because his need was so great and consuming.

 

[mutt_lover]

A confession....I have some of Sebastian's fur in a bag from a trim before he went. I know it's a little weird, but I take it out once in a while to smell him. Gives me a chance for a really good, cleansing sob.

 

[filarotten]

Duke has been gone over a year. I still can't get up the nerve to post him in the rainbow bridge section. I always start crying before I can finish it. Brutie has been a big help, not only to us, but to Roxie. She didn't want to accept him at first, but now he is her baby. A really big baby.
There are many days I look out my window, see his grave, and tears start flowing. It just takes time.

 

[bubbatd]

It never gets better...but it does get easier. " It's better to have loved and lost... than never to have loved at all."

 

[amymarley]

Thanks everyone....Mutt lover, I don't think that's weird at all, I think it's great you have a physical part of him to smell. I guess I just have good days and bad ones, and some just "pop" out of no where and my heart hurts (like last night). Thanks everyone for listening...
take care, Amy