Giving up my dog. kind of long :(

Dreeza · Dec 11, 2006

it would be a little different if the OP wasnt in a transition stage of his/her (not sure!) life...if keeping the dog means staying at home, then i think there is a huge risk of the OP starting to resent the dog, if no connection is ever made. This would be way worse than finding another good home for the dog.

It seems like when the OP acquired the dog, they were unaware that the dog would prevent him/her from moving out of the house. Since the OP is 21, it is a perfect time to go out and be free from parents...

hehe, i just learned in developmental psych that it is much more benficial to be living out on ones own around this age then to stay with parents.

I understand that this is a dog forum, and everyone on here cares sincerely about a dog's life, as do i...HOWEVER, you guys also need to be thinking about consequences for the OP's life...

Fran27 · Dec 11, 2006

I think lots of people are very harsh. The situation is really different from someone who bought a dog, doesn't want it anymore and dumps it in a shelter... Do you guys really not see how?

So, tell me - until when is it ok when you find a stray to find it a good home? One day? Two months? A year? Just wondering, because I hope that someone who's just rescued a stray and wants to find a good home for it won't be bashed right away...

misticaleclipse · Dec 11, 2006

casablanca1 said:

I think his mention of wanting a larger dog triggered a lot of people's red flags. It does sound a bit like part of the reason he hasn't bonded with the dog is that the dog isn't macho enough for him - it's small, it's quiet, it's not real exciting.

In any event, I tend to agree with the people who say that, lacking a major reason (like your dog eats children and you're pregnant) you should really stick it out for a while with a dog before 'rehoming' them. Changing living situations is stressful for them, and while this dog may not be in danger of euthanization, find her a home means taking up a possible placement for a shelter dog who will face the needle. And while it was nice to take the dog in, I disagree that it's more or less a foster situation. It was really an adoption that didn't work out. I don't see why we need to muddy the situation by calling it fostering; if there's no stigma to an honestly sincere adoption not working out, why call it fostering? He did take the dog in with the intention of keeping it, originally. That's not a foster situation, as we currently understand it in the dog world.

To the OP: I sympathize with wanting to be out of your parents' house and not have your life complicated with a pet right now. But I do think there's a case to be made that you're bailing on one of your first adult responsibilities.

Thank you for putting this so nicely. I agree.

Buddy'sParents · Dec 11, 2006

The OP stated....

my00forest said:

any more questions?

misticaleclipse · Dec 11, 2006

Dreeza said:

No it is not different. I moved out when I was 18 so I can understand that period very well. Does that excuse her older parents for not keeping the dog as well when they agreed to? This is not an age thing.

The dog is not stopping him from moving out of the house. The parents agreed to keeping the dog so there are two options in my opinion. a) The parents keep the dog b) The op finds a place that will accept the dog.

The op's life is not going to be "ruined" by either of these things happening.

my00forest · Dec 11, 2006

i'm glad that i am finally starting to be referred to as a Male, which i am (although it may not be a good thing being as most of the members on here, this thread at least, are female)
let me just clear a few things up
i am a male, 21 yrs old, work full time and i am in school also full time. with my parents and me being in the same house i have been able to take care of my dog adequately with my parents. when i work at night, which happens 3-4 nights a week my parents can take care of the dog,
i have said it many times and will say it again, i am not going to drop this dog off at the pound and go on with my life. if my friends parents don't want to take Mattie back and give her a home, one i know first hand will be a great and loving environment for her, or if my parents don't want to keep her then i will not move out.
also i never said that i don't love and care for this dog because i do very much. i just said that i have not made a personal and emotional connection with her.
for those saying that i am irresponsible or that i took this dog in on a "whim" and now i'm abondoning ship because i can't hack it anymore i think you need to take you head... well i'm not gonna go there because that would be a little immature.
and please post any other pictures of kill shelters because it won't make me feel bad about re-homeing my dog because i know for sure that she won't end up there. you're just trying to make everyone hate me and bash me because i'm gonna kill my dog if i can't find her a home asap. that is so far from the truth i don't even know what to say.
sorry if i came off as hostle or immature whatever, but i just wanted to clear a few things up.
so now let the controversy and bashing continue...

makka619 · Dec 11, 2006

misticaleclipse said:

How many "good" home do you think would return the dog to her if they also found out the dog no longer suited there lifestyle? What excuse will we accept next if hers is a good one? of course anyone who says they want to give up a dog says they are no longer attached to it, if they where attached to it enough they would not be giving it up would they? So we are going to excuse every owner who dumps there dog for this reason? Where are you going to draw the line? Is there a time line, oh well its under 6 months, so it's okay for you. Its under a year, you are good, sign the paper to dump him right now.

Okay. lets talk about finding a proper home a beagle/beagle mix, probably one of the breed of dogs most found in the shelter. How many other people either just dumped the dog, or found them a "good" home who then decided to dump the dog? Wanna talk actualities and what happens to many of these dogs, if you don't then by all means avert your eyes to this part.

These dogs are on the death list, all beagles and beagle mixes. The chances of them all making it are not good. Why where they dumped? Well lets see, some people decided they could not have a baby and a dog, some people did not train them, some people decided to move, and some people like the op decided to keep a dog and then dump them when they wanted independence.

You look at those faces and tell me again this is okay. It is not okay.

found here

Are you kidding. Going a little overboard? Posting pictures from a kill shelter is just crazy; it is totally irrelevant to this thread.

IliamnasQuest and Doberluv have pretty much summed up my thoughts on this.

my00forest · Dec 11, 2006

yea i agree with them most myself.
they have actually been following what is going on and make replies that make sense and are relevant

Buddy'sParents · Dec 11, 2006

Many posters have made very relevant posts, you just fail to see them as such.

It's a shame, really. You make the decision to bring a dog into your home and now, because of your age and your want to move out, it's become an inconvenience. But oh well, right? Just one more dog that doesn't have a home or anyone to love it... what's one more...

skyeboxer · Dec 11, 2006

The dog does currently have a home. The OP will not move out until he finds a better home. One where the dog will be loved and cared for in a way that the OP cannot at this point in his life.

I respect the OP's honesty. His point of not wanting the responsability of a dog at this point in his life is understandable and had he not thought it through before perhaps making a move with the dog, both the OP and the dog would have been utterly miserable in a very short space of time.

Finding a new home for the dog - a good, loving, forever home - is the best option for all concerned. It is also the responsible thing to do and as such, I am sure that Forest will not be considering getting his big dog for a long time to come - until he has had the chance to kick up his heels and is ready to settle down a bit.

my00forest · Dec 11, 2006

Buddy'sParents said:

wow, seems like you didn't really read my post about 2 above yours.
but nice try on the guilt trip, really laying it on thick there

misticaleclipse · Dec 11, 2006

my00forest said:

My appologies for calling you female.

I cannot find an answer to my question about how long you have had the dog. So I found out myself from your thread found here. You posted this in August and indicated you had the dog for 3-4 months. That means you have had this dog for 7-8 months then.

Here is the quote from you in which you yourself clearly indicate you adopted this dog.

What people may also be missing is that this dog was found in your friends yard, not yours, thus you could not have been guilted into taking the dog beause she ended up in your yard. Why would you friends parents take the dog when they would not keep it when they orignally found it in their yard?

Buddy'sParents · Dec 11, 2006

my00forest said:

Ive read every thread of yours. The most important being the first one.. where the true story lies.

You can change your story all you want... it all still remains the same.

my00forest · Dec 11, 2006

i think i meant to say that i had only had her for about 2-3 weeks there.
i got her around the middle of july. so it has been about 5 months
yes i did say that i had adopted her, in the fact that i took her in and had her checked by the vet and had all of her shots updated, and then later had her spayed. fed and cared for her, yes i consider that adopting her
at the time my friends parents did not really want to keep her so i decided that i would take her. but my friends parents had expressed the fact that if it did not work out or that i could not handle her then they would take her back and give her a home. they currently have 2 dogs already

RD · Dec 11, 2006

Sorry, I fail to see how rehoming a dog is abandoning it. I don't see how placing a dog in a LOVING, SECURE home with owners that are able to connect with the dog (and yes, some dogs just don't click with certain people) is cruel abandonment.

Dumping the dog in a kill shelter? Abandonment. Dumping the dog on the side of the road? Abandonment. Placing it in a good home with people who will love and care for it is not abandonment. No freaking way.

Why are people lashing out at someone who wants to do the right thing for the dog? Yes, rehoming will be very stressful for the dog. So will moving out with a 21 year old who works and goes to school full time and will have practically NO time for a dog.

So he wants another dog in the future. big deal. I want a Fila in the future - you don't see me running out and getting one today. Give the OP some credit . . .

Doberluv · Dec 11, 2006

I agree RD.

There are good homes with people who really love dogs who really are capable of giving dogs the time and all that they need and there are homes where dogs don't get what they need. And there are dogs languishing in crummy shelters with no home and there are dogs who are put to sleep. What kind of place would you rather see dogs in? A loving, nurturing home as well as owners who have time for the dog, a home where the dog isn't wanted, a shelter or dead? To me, there is only one kind of home fit for a dog. Euthanasia would be my second choice.

I think there's a little too much melodrama here for me. The dog will be fine. Good heavens!

krisykris · Dec 11, 2006

I'm not saying it's a perfect world we live in and that no dogs will ever need to be re homed. I'm not saying that it WOULDN'T be better for the dog to have a loving and secure home with people who truly want it. What I'm aggravated about is the OP and the lack of responsibility that I feel is being taken. Also the "let the drama continue" phrase he makes at the close of each post is patronizing and kind of not necessary. He asked for our opinions and he's clearly gotten mixed ones.

I just really wish that people would truly think about what kind of lives they lead before bringing an animal on board.

misticaleclipse · Dec 11, 2006

krisykris said:

I wasn't sure if I was imagining it, but I agree.

You cannot tell me you are going to come on a dog message board and say you are rehoming your dog and not expect a lot of people who will be frustrated with you.

bubbatd · Dec 11, 2006

You have the dog's best interest in mind and this is #1 . Do what's best for the dog , you and your family . If this means re-homing go through friends , and then no kill shelters or Petfinders. I feel your pain .

IliamnasQuest · Dec 11, 2006

misticaleclipse said:

He stated in his VERY FIRST POST that he'd had the dog about five months.

I just don't believe you read his posts very well - not only did you fail to notice how long he said he'd had the dog, you insisted on calling HIM a female throughout the majority of your posts. Obviously you only read bits and pieces that allowed you to feel incensed so you could jump all over this guy. Having a bad day, are you? *L*

The reality is that here's a guy who took on a stray dog (which means she didn't end up at the pound), took her to the vets and had her checked out and her vaccinations updated (on his own dime) .. had her spayed so she couldn't pop out dozens of puppies that would probably end up in a kill shelter somewhere (again, on his own dime) .. and has found a short time later that, while he cares about the dog, this was not a good time to own a dog nor has he developed a true bond with her. Would it have been better for him to realize this prior to saying he'd take her? Maybe .. but then again, maybe another person taking this dog wouldn't have bothered to have her spayed or would have dumped her in the back yard. She's not being mistreated - he just wants to find her a loving home, spend some time developing a life for himself and later on get a dog that fits with his personality better.

Granted, his title for this thread and some of his words could have been better chosen. But I've read ALL of his posts, not just picked words out here and there, and I don't think he's being a bad person at all.

You know, there are people out there who leave their dogs out in the heat of summer with no water and in the cold of winter with no shelter. There are people who have dogs that are pumping out litter after litter, living in squalor, just so the humans can make some money. There are people out there beating and torturing their animals. There are people out there who simply drive out into the country and kick the dog out of a vehicle when they don't want it, or they drop it off at the nearest kill shelter. And here we have a guy who is getting lambasted because he posted to a forum that he's taken in a dog, had her vetted, but needs to find her a home (and is willing to take the time to find her a good one). What is WRONG with you people?? *L* Why are you giving this guy such a bad time???

Go after someone who really deserves your disdain and leave this guy alone. He's done nothing wrong.

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