Giving up my dog. kind of long :(
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Amazing how many people think it is ok for a dog to be bounced around whenever it suits a persons needs. As someone who rescues dogs and rehomes them, I know how much stress it can cause the dog.
I DO understand that it was great that the OP took the dog in, cared for it's needs, etc.......
BUT, if part of the reason is because there is no connection, what about the next dog he gets. What if there is no connection there?
To the OP. How long have you had the dog? Why do you feel there is no connection?
I DO understand that it was great that the OP took the dog in, cared for it's needs, etc.......
BUT, if part of the reason is because there is no connection, what about the next dog he gets. What if there is no connection there?
To the OP. How long have you had the dog? Why do you feel there is no connection?
I did read each and every post in the thread and by the op, and I strongly disagree
I find it extremely insulting to say that she fostered this dog. I cannot even emphasize how repugnant I find this statement.
Fostering is a rescue term. You foster the dog on behalf of a rescue and help rehome the dog. You actually do work. You not only provide a home over hte dogs head, you answer questions about the dog, you attend adoption events. You train the dog, love it, help with home inspections, etc. They also agree to take the dog back at any time for any reason to ensure the dog does not end up put down in a kill shelter. But most of all you do it with the INTENTION of finding the dog a good home. She kept this dog with the intention of keeping it and now we call it fostering because its no longer convenient to her lifestyle? I see a big differnece between fostering for the better good with the intention of placing the dog, or taking in a dog to give it a home and then dumping it because it no longer suits you.
Dogs are not disposable, she never asked for this dog, but it came into her life and she accepted responsibility for it. Not only her, but her parents agreed she could keep this dog. Its terrible that neither she or her parents are taking responsibility for there decision. The world would be a much better place for animals if we did not have this disposable attitude.
I find it extremely insulting to say that she fostered this dog. I cannot even emphasize how repugnant I find this statement.
Fostering is a rescue term. You foster the dog on behalf of a rescue and help rehome the dog. You actually do work. You not only provide a home over hte dogs head, you answer questions about the dog, you attend adoption events. You train the dog, love it, help with home inspections, etc. They also agree to take the dog back at any time for any reason to ensure the dog does not end up put down in a kill shelter. But most of all you do it with the INTENTION of finding the dog a good home. She kept this dog with the intention of keeping it and now we call it fostering because its no longer convenient to her lifestyle? I see a big differnece between fostering for the better good with the intention of placing the dog, or taking in a dog to give it a home and then dumping it because it no longer suits you.
Dogs are not disposable, she never asked for this dog, but it came into her life and she accepted responsibility for it. Not only her, but her parents agreed she could keep this dog. Its terrible that neither she or her parents are taking responsibility for there decision. The world would be a much better place for animals if we did not have this disposable attitude.
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This is the way I look at the situation! You took a nice dog in and saved its life! Nice of you too do!
You want too move out on your own, and you say that the new landlords said you can't have the dog! Then get out and find a place for the dog, but remember it is up too you know as the dogs owner, to place it in its forever home!
If you are not ready for a dog, that's fine! Make sure that you are doing the dog a favor rather than yourself! If you go out and place this dog, that's great on your part, but please do not do this to get another dog!
All dogs have a heart, and this one sounds like he adores you. That was because you were the nice guy that brought him into the home!
Oh by the way if it is a girl, and I called it a him I am so very sorry!
You want too move out on your own, and you say that the new landlords said you can't have the dog! Then get out and find a place for the dog, but remember it is up too you know as the dogs owner, to place it in its forever home!
If you are not ready for a dog, that's fine! Make sure that you are doing the dog a favor rather than yourself! If you go out and place this dog, that's great on your part, but please do not do this to get another dog!
All dogs have a heart, and this one sounds like he adores you. That was because you were the nice guy that brought him into the home!
Oh by the way if it is a girl, and I called it a him I am so very sorry!
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Staying out the controversy here...just wanted to point out that Great Danes are not only standardly inactive dogs, forced exercise on a dane can be damaging to their skeletal system.
I don't want to paint the picture that they lay around 24 hours a day (Although some do!), but sometimes they have to be coerced into activity.
Now my current dane, Hannah, is very high energy, which is new for me, as my previous danes have all been moderate or low energy. Hannah is like a great dane version of the Tazmanian devil. She's non-stop.
I don't want to paint the picture that they lay around 24 hours a day (Although some do!), but sometimes they have to be coerced into activity.
Now my current dane, Hannah, is very high energy, which is new for me, as my previous danes have all been moderate or low energy. Hannah is like a great dane version of the Tazmanian devil. She's non-stop.
I can't help it if my opinion is insulting to some. I made no attack on anyone in a flaming or insulting manner.
If I had a dog, regardless of the method of aquiring it, and I didn't think I could care for it after all, wasn't going to be home all day because of work, didn't particularly bond with it, wasn't interested in keeping it, I'd find it a new home too. What possible good would it do the dog for an unengaged owner who had no particular close feeling to the dog or didn't have time for the dog? Should I have gotten the dog in the first place? Of course not. But the OP started out with the idea of giving the dog a safe haven. Whether or not the intention was to keep the dog is really a moot point. The point is that the normal, healthy and loving relationship hasn't mataerialized. A home which can offer what the dog needs and deserves is not available (for whatever reasons) and the dog will be better off in a home where his social, physical and emotional needs are met. I don't know why your parents don't want to keep the dog. She looks like a sweety to me.
It's too bad. It's not easy at first on a dog. But in time with the right owners, I'm sure she'll adapt and be happy. Dogs do adapt and they're happy if they have a leader, someone who provides their resources. To me, that is the main thing of importance.
Forcing one's self to take on a responsibility or imitate responsibility...that he or she is unable to carry out properly (for whatever reasons) is not going to make things right for the dog.
This is a case of the ideal: a dog who is wanted, who is craved, who has a close bond with it's owner, who has an owner who has the time to spend with and train the dog etc...... or the reality. The ideal isn't present. There's only the reality left.
There are plenty of people who have dogs who are absent most of the time, who spend very little time with their dogs. How is this any better than someone who admits to not having the proper resources to do right by a dog and wants to find a home where the dog is with someone who does have the resources? Sure, it's convenient for the poster also. Maybe it is for selfish reasons and not with the dog's welfare in mind. However, that doesn't strike me as the case since he/she took in the dog off the streets in the first place. That is not an act of someone who is only thinking about their own convenience. That is not the act of a person with no empathy for another living thing. I don't see in the OP some heartless person, who in fact came on this forum struggling with this dilema and asking for clarification. I don't think what's in the OP's mind matters. It's how the outcome...the results of the welfare of the dog turn out. That's the bottom line. And in this case, finding a proper and loving home is what is in the dog's best interest.
If I had a dog, regardless of the method of aquiring it, and I didn't think I could care for it after all, wasn't going to be home all day because of work, didn't particularly bond with it, wasn't interested in keeping it, I'd find it a new home too. What possible good would it do the dog for an unengaged owner who had no particular close feeling to the dog or didn't have time for the dog? Should I have gotten the dog in the first place? Of course not. But the OP started out with the idea of giving the dog a safe haven. Whether or not the intention was to keep the dog is really a moot point. The point is that the normal, healthy and loving relationship hasn't mataerialized. A home which can offer what the dog needs and deserves is not available (for whatever reasons) and the dog will be better off in a home where his social, physical and emotional needs are met. I don't know why your parents don't want to keep the dog. She looks like a sweety to me.
It's too bad. It's not easy at first on a dog. But in time with the right owners, I'm sure she'll adapt and be happy. Dogs do adapt and they're happy if they have a leader, someone who provides their resources. To me, that is the main thing of importance.
Forcing one's self to take on a responsibility or imitate responsibility...that he or she is unable to carry out properly (for whatever reasons) is not going to make things right for the dog.
This is a case of the ideal: a dog who is wanted, who is craved, who has a close bond with it's owner, who has an owner who has the time to spend with and train the dog etc...... or the reality. The ideal isn't present. There's only the reality left.
There are plenty of people who have dogs who are absent most of the time, who spend very little time with their dogs. How is this any better than someone who admits to not having the proper resources to do right by a dog and wants to find a home where the dog is with someone who does have the resources? Sure, it's convenient for the poster also. Maybe it is for selfish reasons and not with the dog's welfare in mind. However, that doesn't strike me as the case since he/she took in the dog off the streets in the first place. That is not an act of someone who is only thinking about their own convenience. That is not the act of a person with no empathy for another living thing. I don't see in the OP some heartless person, who in fact came on this forum struggling with this dilema and asking for clarification. I don't think what's in the OP's mind matters. It's how the outcome...the results of the welfare of the dog turn out. That's the bottom line. And in this case, finding a proper and loving home is what is in the dog's best interest.
How many "good" home do you think would return the dog to her if they also found out the dog no longer suited there lifestyle? What excuse will we accept next if hers is a good one? of course anyone who says they want to give up a dog says they are no longer attached to it, if they where attached to it enough they would not be giving it up would they? So we are going to excuse every owner who dumps there dog for this reason? Where are you going to draw the line? Is there a time line, oh well its under 6 months, so it's okay for you. Its under a year, you are good, sign the paper to dump him right now.
Okay. lets talk about finding a proper home a beagle/beagle mix, probably one of the breed of dogs most found in the shelter. How many other people either just dumped the dog, or found them a "good" home who then decided to dump the dog? Wanna talk actualities and what happens to many of these dogs, if you don't then by all means avert your eyes to this part.
These dogs are on the death list, all beagles and beagle mixes. The chances of them all making it are not good. Why where they dumped? Well lets see, some people decided they could not have a baby and a dog, some people did not train them, some people decided to move, and some people like the op decided to keep a dog and then dump them when they wanted independence.
You look at those faces and tell me again this is okay. It is not okay.
found here
found here
Fancy Girl
Many Beagles
Okay. lets talk about finding a proper home a beagle/beagle mix, probably one of the breed of dogs most found in the shelter. How many other people either just dumped the dog, or found them a "good" home who then decided to dump the dog? Wanna talk actualities and what happens to many of these dogs, if you don't then by all means avert your eyes to this part.
These dogs are on the death list, all beagles and beagle mixes. The chances of them all making it are not good. Why where they dumped? Well lets see, some people decided they could not have a baby and a dog, some people did not train them, some people decided to move, and some people like the op decided to keep a dog and then dump them when they wanted independence.
You look at those faces and tell me again this is okay. It is not okay.
found here
found here
Fancy Girl
Many Beagles
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Having read ALL the posts, this is my opinion ..
As a trainer who does behavior consultations and has worked with dogs for the past 18 years, I'd much rather see someone try to find a good home for a dog with a person who truly has a connection with the dog, then to keep the dog just because someone says they should (especially some judgemental person who doesn't even know them). Why is it not right for this guy to say "I took in this stray dog, we haven't connected, she's a wonderful dog but not right for me and I'd like to find her a home with someone who can have a real bond with her"? I think he's doing a very good thing.
Throwing a bunch of photos up of dogs that are in some kill shelter is completely inappropriate because THIS dog is NOT in a kill shelter. The OP has straight-out said that he is looking for a home but is not going to dump her. There's just no comparison. Why would anyone try to put a guilt trip on him because he's trying to find the RIGHT home for this dog? Sheesh. Not every person connects with every dog, you know. And when people don't connect, the dog doesn't get the emotional sustenance that it should have .. why would anyone with a caring heart say "NO, don't rehome the dog with someone who could really love her!!"???
I've seen nothing in this that indicates that the OP hates the dog, is dumping her for convenience sake or is being heartless in any way. He's even said he's willing to stay at home longer just FOR this dog - a dog that he hasn't truly connected with. How many people would do that .. would put their lives on hold for a dog that they're not emotionally bound to?
There's a huge difference between dumping a dog, and finding the dog a good home. If people would step back and think logically instead of emotionally, maybe they'll realize that this young man is trying to do what's right for the dog as well as himself, and is not just throwing the dog back out on the street.
Melanie and the gang in Alaska
As a trainer who does behavior consultations and has worked with dogs for the past 18 years, I'd much rather see someone try to find a good home for a dog with a person who truly has a connection with the dog, then to keep the dog just because someone says they should (especially some judgemental person who doesn't even know them). Why is it not right for this guy to say "I took in this stray dog, we haven't connected, she's a wonderful dog but not right for me and I'd like to find her a home with someone who can have a real bond with her"? I think he's doing a very good thing.
Throwing a bunch of photos up of dogs that are in some kill shelter is completely inappropriate because THIS dog is NOT in a kill shelter. The OP has straight-out said that he is looking for a home but is not going to dump her. There's just no comparison. Why would anyone try to put a guilt trip on him because he's trying to find the RIGHT home for this dog? Sheesh. Not every person connects with every dog, you know. And when people don't connect, the dog doesn't get the emotional sustenance that it should have .. why would anyone with a caring heart say "NO, don't rehome the dog with someone who could really love her!!"???
I've seen nothing in this that indicates that the OP hates the dog, is dumping her for convenience sake or is being heartless in any way. He's even said he's willing to stay at home longer just FOR this dog - a dog that he hasn't truly connected with. How many people would do that .. would put their lives on hold for a dog that they're not emotionally bound to?
There's a huge difference between dumping a dog, and finding the dog a good home. If people would step back and think logically instead of emotionally, maybe they'll realize that this young man is trying to do what's right for the dog as well as himself, and is not just throwing the dog back out on the street.
Melanie and the gang in Alaska
But not only is he giving up the dog because of lack of connection, it is also in order to move and pursue a responsibility free life without a dog and to in the future get a new "big" dog.
I don't so much have a problem w/re homing a dog because of a lack of connection if it is done in a positive way for the dog and is in it's best interest. What I have a problem with is the lack of responsibility that comes across through the OP.
Everyone can argue that he is being responsible by finding the dog a new home, but I don't. I think each and every person should think more carefully about bringing an animal into their life whether they just found it on the street and kept it as a family pet or went to a pet store and bought on a whim, OR went to a breeder, then had a baby or got a job where they didn't have time for the animal.
I bought both of my dogs on a whim. I saw Bentley in a pet store and scooped him up, without a thought dropping nearly 1500 on him. I didn't think about my allergies, my asthma, or how my life would accommodate a pet. I could have had to give him away because of the health risk I took. However, I'm uninsured and am paying out of pocket for medicines to prevent asthma and allergy flare ups and I'm doing what I can to make things right for him and allow him to live his life in MY home with ME for the rest of his life.
I guess I just feel like there is a lack of commitment in some pet owners and there's this general disregard for the magnitude of taking in a pet. It saddens me to see the hundreds of thousands of animals left in shelters each year to die.
This may not be the case with this particular person, but it brings up those emotions for me. Because I ask myself, what happens when this person brings a new dog into their life and decides there's no connection or that life isn't accommodating to have this pet?
I'm no one to judge this persons actions or what their decisions are, but it is just my opinion and I felt compelled to add it.
I understand life changes, things change and situations arise where there is a need to re home a pet.
I don't so much have a problem w/re homing a dog because of a lack of connection if it is done in a positive way for the dog and is in it's best interest. What I have a problem with is the lack of responsibility that comes across through the OP.
Everyone can argue that he is being responsible by finding the dog a new home, but I don't. I think each and every person should think more carefully about bringing an animal into their life whether they just found it on the street and kept it as a family pet or went to a pet store and bought on a whim, OR went to a breeder, then had a baby or got a job where they didn't have time for the animal.
I bought both of my dogs on a whim. I saw Bentley in a pet store and scooped him up, without a thought dropping nearly 1500 on him. I didn't think about my allergies, my asthma, or how my life would accommodate a pet. I could have had to give him away because of the health risk I took. However, I'm uninsured and am paying out of pocket for medicines to prevent asthma and allergy flare ups and I'm doing what I can to make things right for him and allow him to live his life in MY home with ME for the rest of his life.
I guess I just feel like there is a lack of commitment in some pet owners and there's this general disregard for the magnitude of taking in a pet. It saddens me to see the hundreds of thousands of animals left in shelters each year to die.
This may not be the case with this particular person, but it brings up those emotions for me. Because I ask myself, what happens when this person brings a new dog into their life and decides there's no connection or that life isn't accommodating to have this pet?
I'm no one to judge this persons actions or what their decisions are, but it is just my opinion and I felt compelled to add it.
I understand life changes, things change and situations arise where there is a need to re home a pet.
there have been many times on this board when we have told someone in a bad situation that it might be best if they rehome their dog. either they weren't training it very well or caring for it like they should. if this person had come, said they didn't connect with the dog, then we'd try to help, but if it didn't work i know a lot of us would say that they should rehome the dog for the dog's sake. this is no different.
i just wanted to say that i think the OP should try to find a new home for the dog. If a dog was a few month commitment, then fine, but dogs live a LONG time. As we all know, they take tons of energy to take care of.
I dont understand how some of you are comparing this situation to people who dump dogs at shelters, or people who buy a new puppy for xmas, then realize they cant take care of it...
Whenever i find a dog on the street, i always look for its owner, i never leave it to wander around, and so far, i have been lucky to return every one to its home...
if i couldnt find one's home, i would temporarily take it in with me, and then continue the search process...if no home was found, would i seriously be obligated to keep it??? My parents would NEVER allow it...
You guys arent giving the OP much credit here, at least he is willing to put tons of time and energy into finding this dog the home she really deserves...
good luck with everything!
I dont understand how some of you are comparing this situation to people who dump dogs at shelters, or people who buy a new puppy for xmas, then realize they cant take care of it...
Whenever i find a dog on the street, i always look for its owner, i never leave it to wander around, and so far, i have been lucky to return every one to its home...
if i couldnt find one's home, i would temporarily take it in with me, and then continue the search process...if no home was found, would i seriously be obligated to keep it??? My parents would NEVER allow it...
You guys arent giving the OP much credit here, at least he is willing to put tons of time and energy into finding this dog the home she really deserves...
good luck with everything!
It is entirely appropriate. Where do you think dogs in pounds came from? Many times they came from someone would found a "good" home for the dog. What happened then, well that "good" home decided they where going to move or any other reason they chose to realieve there guilt, and the dog ended up at a kill facility. This is a vicious cycle that needs to stop.
I ask again, who is going to rehome a dog they have a strong connection with for this reason? Do you think most of the dumpers say they have the best connection but they are moving and cannot keep the dog? A lot do, but do you really believe them? It's become convenient for the op to say she is not attached to the dog because it makes it easier for her to dump her.
Her parents also agreed to take the dog, I guess its convenient for them to say they have no connection with her either? So lets adopt her to a wonderful family, let say to the adoptedd family "by the way, none of us 3 people connected with her, but I am sure you will". Lets give them an excuse to dump the dog when its not convenient for them either.
I want to add that I understand why there are sometimes a need to rehome a dog, such as agresion towards your children, death of the owner, evacuations. I would not be upset at these people for having to give up there dogs, but the op's story is selfish on hers and her parents part
I don't believe the "no connection" thing. Sure you may have some connection to some animal over another animal, but that can happen wether you bought the dog in a pet store, in a pound or found as a stray. Some mothers indicate they do not have a "connection" to there children when they are born, that does not mean most of them give up there children.
I ask again, who is going to rehome a dog they have a strong connection with for this reason? Do you think most of the dumpers say they have the best connection but they are moving and cannot keep the dog? A lot do, but do you really believe them? It's become convenient for the op to say she is not attached to the dog because it makes it easier for her to dump her.
Her parents also agreed to take the dog, I guess its convenient for them to say they have no connection with her either? So lets adopt her to a wonderful family, let say to the adoptedd family "by the way, none of us 3 people connected with her, but I am sure you will". Lets give them an excuse to dump the dog when its not convenient for them either.
I want to add that I understand why there are sometimes a need to rehome a dog, such as agresion towards your children, death of the owner, evacuations. I would not be upset at these people for having to give up there dogs, but the op's story is selfish on hers and her parents part
I don't believe the "no connection" thing. Sure you may have some connection to some animal over another animal, but that can happen wether you bought the dog in a pet store, in a pound or found as a stray. Some mothers indicate they do not have a "connection" to there children when they are born, that does not mean most of them give up there children.
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On the one hand, I don't think the OP is a bad person to want to find another home for a dog he hasn't really bonded with. On the other hand, I think his mention of wanting a larger dog triggered a lot of people's red flags. It does sound a bit like part of the reason he hasn't bonded with the dog is that the dog isn't macho enough for him - it's small, it's quiet, it's not real exciting.
In any event, I tend to agree with the people who say that, lacking a major reason (like your dog eats children and you're pregnant) you should really stick it out for a while with a dog before 'rehoming' them. Changing living situations is stressful for them, and while this dog may not be in danger of euthanization, find her a home means taking up a possible placement for a shelter dog who will face the needle. And while it was nice to take the dog in, I disagree that it's more or less a foster situation. It was really an adoption that didn't work out. I don't see why we need to muddy the situation by calling it fostering; if there's no stigma to an honestly sincere adoption not working out, why call it fostering? He did take the dog in with the intention of keeping it, originally. That's not a foster situation, as we currently understand it in the dog world.
To the OP: I sympathize with wanting to be out of your parents' house and not have your life complicated with a pet right now. But I do think there's a case to be made that you're bailing on one of your first adult responsibilities. It sounds as if the dog's going to be in a nice home, and everything worked out, which is good.
In any event, I tend to agree with the people who say that, lacking a major reason (like your dog eats children and you're pregnant) you should really stick it out for a while with a dog before 'rehoming' them. Changing living situations is stressful for them, and while this dog may not be in danger of euthanization, find her a home means taking up a possible placement for a shelter dog who will face the needle. And while it was nice to take the dog in, I disagree that it's more or less a foster situation. It was really an adoption that didn't work out. I don't see why we need to muddy the situation by calling it fostering; if there's no stigma to an honestly sincere adoption not working out, why call it fostering? He did take the dog in with the intention of keeping it, originally. That's not a foster situation, as we currently understand it in the dog world.
To the OP: I sympathize with wanting to be out of your parents' house and not have your life complicated with a pet right now. But I do think there's a case to be made that you're bailing on one of your first adult responsibilities. It sounds as if the dog's going to be in a nice home, and everything worked out, which is good.
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