Entitlement

[MisssAshby]

Okay, this is going to be a mini rant.....WARNING.

Please, please PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one getting sick of these teens and young adults who have this attitude that they are "entitled"?

It seems that more and more children are growing up with an attitude that everyone owes them something, or they should be supported by Mom/Dad until they are 24/25 (or find a "career" job).

Whatever happened to working your butt off for what you want and being PROUD of what you had? I will be the first to admit that I was spoiled as a child, but I had to EARN those things. I will never forget my father telling me, "Ashley, I can buy you the most expensive things in the world but you will never learn to appreciate them until you actually buy them and WORK for them". Truer words have never been spoken. What happened to this? Is it a thing of the past (for most people)?

/end of rant.

 

[Saeleofu]

:hail: :hail:

My roommate is like that a lot. Granted she does work, but she also spends money frivolously and complained that she didn't get $2000 for graduation from her parents And here I am, working my ass off trying to make ends meet and not even succeeding there. I spend $10 on a bike, she spends $600.

 

[-bogart-]

i hear ya , and i really dont know how it happened to my oldest kid cyle, i dont cater to him and neither does his dad , we make him work for anything he wants , but seriously some of the stuff he comes up with make my head spin . we are bad horrid lowlife parents because we cant afford to buy him a car (and wouldn't if we could), cause we eat animals and refuse to change our grocery buying habits to include these special items he wants to eat. (tofu and the like) I told him has a job if he wants to eat something else from what i cook he had to buy it.

arggggggggg i can not wait till his head pops out jis butt and he relizes what life is really like , not the sheltered version he lived.

/rant.

sorry bout that , but this is an ongoing fight recently at my house

 

[SizzleDog]

HEAR HEAR!

The sense of entitlement is getting RIDICULOUS!

Case in point - my mom is a teacher, has been for the past 30 years. One of the school nurses on staff - in her 20's, does NOT have a Bachelor's Degree, fresh out of school, etc. has been hassling everybody for a $3000 raise. Her reasoning? She just bought a brand new truck, and she and her husband just bought a fancy new house in a private community and she can't afford the truck payments and they're struggling with their mortgage so she NEEDS $3000 more per year - on top of the $1200 raise she already got this year. She cried and bawled to my mom about it because my mom is on the salary negotiations committee. She cried and bawled to the principal. She then cried and bawled to the administrator - a man she does NOT even know.

So you're young, you don't have a Bachelor's degree, you're a new employee AND the only reasons you've given on why you DESERVE an extra $3000 per year is because you bought a brand spankin' new truck and you live in a hoity toity part of town?

Two major issues I see here...
1. The sense of entitlement (disrespecting your superiors and elders, expecting something for nothing, yadda yadda yadda)
2. Living beyond your means and expecting others to 'take care of it'

Argh, I can't think about this anymore, it makes me so angry.

 

[sillysally]

I think in most cases this is either just being a teenager who thinks they know it all and the world revolves around them (I think that many, if not most teenagers go through this), the fact that we live in a culture of consumerism that tells young developing minds that they must have this phone or wear these clothes to be relevant (and if they have no job then who else will provide them but mom and dad?), and that the baby boomers had raised, or are raising kids.

As far as living with parents after college (and I don't, BTW--married and living on our own), as long as the parents are cool with it I don't see why people have such an issue with it. I makes more financial sense and allows the person staying there to save money that they otherwise would be flushing down the tubes to the tune of hundreds of dollars a month.

 

[Jules]

Oooh... don't even get me started!!! I currently live in base housing... I don;t think there is a community out there with more entitlement issues out there. Also, and I know I have ranted about this a bazillion times, there is no better group of people living beyond their means like military folks. It's ridiculous. Yet, we need to be on WIC to support the new baby since we also had to buy a new expensive SUV.

 

[SizzleDog]

On SUVs.... I wonder why families think they need them. Back in the day, you just put the three kids in the backseat - there are three seatbelts back there, after all! Got sports gear? Shove it on in the trunk, it'll fit!

Oh waittt.... it's not 'cool' to be a parent with two kids and a SEDAN. That's just not cool. All the cool moms have SUVs. Gotta get one of those... *sigh*

ETA: I don't really have a problem with the vehicles buy. Just don't complain about money problems when you go out and buy a $45,000 SUV (or sports car, or minivan, or truck) that you don't need. That's called "living beyond your means" and it drives me crazy - it perpetuates the cycle, causing more weak-willed people to live beyond their means as well. It's like keeping up with the Joneses, except the real truth is that the Jones's kids are getting cr@p food and have no college fund because their parents have to be the ones everyone else is trying to keep up with.

/rant.

 

[Baxter'smybaby]

We worked reeaaaally hard to raise our kids to not feel like the world owes them. I think we achieved that--but it was tough battling things when all of their friends got everything and anything they wanted. Parenting took a bad curve somewhere in the 80's--when families COULD have all they wanted --by using credit cards, and having the latest greatest item (game systems, cars, computers, whatever) whether they could afford it or not. And those that were raised having everything can't figure out why they can't have it now (as a car, house, vacation, etc).

 

[CaliTerp07]

And yet, these same kids who have received anything and everything and are now having their own children think it's completely unnecessary to save a dime for a college fund, because "there are scholarships and government grants".

UGH.

 

[smkie]

Bax I am going through that now with Hyia. It is hard what her for her when she compares what her friends have to what she has. I have already told her that Aaron had to earn his own car and so will she. That if he wanted fancy clothes from Hot Topic he had to buy them and he did. If she wants things like that, she will have to earn them too. Just the way it is here.

 

[Pam111]

Ugh, the SUV thing. My sister has a decent job as a corrections officer, but when she was in a relationship and living with him, she went out and bought an SUV and has like a $500 a month payment. Now she is living alone with her son again and complains that her car payment is too much and half her income goes to daycare. Well, yeah, you didn't need to buy that vehicle...
I have a car payment, too, but I bought a vehicle a few years ago that cost 9,900 and was used with 20k miles on it. I feel that is a modest price for regular vehicle (2005 Ford Taurus). I cannot see spending $500 a month on a car payment. My MIL may give us her KIA Sportage when she pays it off, and I will admit, I will enjoy having an SUV because there are many times I would like to purchase things off CL or garage sales that won't fit in my car.

My husband is pretty spoiled. His mom still pays his car insurance and cellphone. We don't ask her to do this. He went to a 10k a year private high school. His brothers have nice vehicles that their mom co-signed on. She is willing to co-sign on a house for us if she qualifies. She does everything she can for her children. Out of the 3 boys, though, only one (the youngest because he is very babies) acts entitled. My husband never asks her for a thing (except the house co-signing) and we will begin paying his insurance and phone in August. I am glad he does not act entitled. He does appreciate that his mother works very hard for her money (owns her own business, works 6 days a week from 7 or 8 until 6 or 630) and doesn't want to ask her for things.

 

[darkchild16]

UGH This frustrates me to no end. The worst is when people who do act entitled assume others must be this way. I have been told we just had Morgan to get more money from the state :yikes:
We get no money from the state. The ONLY thing we get from the state right now is health insurance because A) Jeremys work does not offer a family plan for part time employees and we just found that out in May and B) we are moving to a different state in November and the price change between the two is drastic along with the companies and what they offer. So I dont see getting a policy for 4 mths and then having to turn around and close it or whatever.

Just because Im a young mother everyone assumes that the state has always paid for Bev or someone else has. She was born under private insurance that my mom did keep me on because it didnt change how much she had to pay as long as I was a student. I never used school grants or loans when I was going to school it came right out of my pocket. The only time I had to go to the state for help was when I lost my job when she was 6 mth old as soon as I got a new one I cancelled her stuff. I get NO child support for her and the ONLY way my mom helped with her was buying her things and even that I didnt ask for my mom just did it. I still bought all her diapers, wipes, shoes, most of her clothes, car seats and everything. My mom just bought her the things she liked. Granted I did get ALOT of the expensive baby items at my baby shower that mine and my moms work threw me.

With Morgan our parents didnt help at all really besides buying him a few things here and there.

Anyway done ranting LOL.

It just pisses me off so much that because Im a young mother I suppossedly only have kids for state help. That people think that parents cant make sacrifices for their kids so that they dont have state help. Like buying a older car with payments well within your means or not having as nice and big a house so that you can afford to live within your means. For one parent to have 2 jobs so that the one can stay home with the kids and be able to afford the move you want to do.

 

[Pam111]

Don't worry about them, Breeze. There is NOTHING wrong with using the health insurance when you need it.

 

[darkchild16]

Oh i know these people were talking Food Stamps Wic Section 8. All that carp. Jeremy pays as much as we use in Medicaid anyway LOL.

 

[Pam111]

I get WIC. In my neighborhood, it's weird not to get food stamps. When I use my debit card at the store, I've had the cashier say "your food stamps aren't working" several times because she just assumed I would be using food stamps, especially when Damien is with me. Actually, we would qualify for food stamps because my husband's income is low enough and student loans don't count as income and they don't count savings anymore for food stamps. I don't take them, though, because we CAN afford our food and it feels wrong to have a savings account and get them

 

[darkchild16]

Oh I have no problem with WIC i just dont need it we shop at costco for that stuff and WIC wont work there. I did think about it when it looked like we might need a breast pump for morgan for a event because I didnt want to shell out the money for one if I was just going to use it twice and then I found out they dont rent them and that I can get a manual one for 20 bucks at walmart. I get that too. ALL the time. Because we live in the same type of neighborhood but I decided to have the kids I should pay for it.

 

[JessLough]

I live with my parents. It makes more sense for me. They are 10 minutes from the college, and really, I cannot afford to have my own place. My parents are not paying extra for me to be living there still, as they are already paying market value. If they were not, I would be paying the extra on rent that it was costing, my sister did before they started to pay market value. My parents do not mind, I help them out whenever I can money wise, I usually get my own food, or the food I do need, is not expensive anyways so my parents do not care. Am I entitled to have my parents pay for my food for me? No. Am I entitled to still be living at home? Heck no, I am 19, they could have kicked me out long ago. However, they LIKE having me at home, and have no problem with it.

I pay for my own cell phone bill, I bought my own cell phone. I pay for my ferrets food and vet bills, only a couple times have they picked up some medication for me when I really did not have the money that week. Did they have to? Of course not, but they love the ferrets, and the ferrets would never go without the necessities, as long as my parents could help it.

I know very well that I am not entitled to any of it, and that I am very lucky that my parents are well enough off that I CAN still live at home and get help when I need it.

However, I know alot of people who think that they are entitled to stuff from their parents, and that just baffles me. They are adults, their parents do not owe them anything. Even kids, they do not need the best of the clothes, or the best entertainment systems, but they think they do, and they think they are entitled to it. For what? For being born?

 

[Beanie]

Eh. I'm 26, have never moved out of my parents home, and I don't feel I'm entitled to anything. People want to make a big deal about it, but since there are lots of people who lost their jobs, adults living with their parents are incredibly common these days. When one of my co-workers broke up with her boyfriend, she decided instead of going out and getting her own apartment, she would move back in with her mom. She figured out with the money she'd be saving on rent just in one year, she could completely pay off one of her student loans - so that's what she did.
I don't really think it's a bad thing for parents to be kind enough to let their adult children stay with them to save money. I think the problem is when they are staying there so they can blow money frivolously. But you can't make a generalization that everybody doing such-and-such is doing it so they can blow all their money on DVDs and booze and video games or whatever (which, yes, I do know plenty of people who live with their parents because they would rather waste their money on whatever "toys" they feel like they should have.)


My dad taught me from the get-go that if you want something, you have to work to get it, and sometimes you have to sacrifice other things. I was 12 and asked for a Nintendo 64 for my birthday. He took a $50 bill out of his wallet, and said "I'm putting this in an envelope for you. Get the other $150 yourself, and I'll take you to the store to buy it." So that's what I did. And then I decided I wanted a nicer TV to play my games on (I was using my parent's old TV from the 70's, LOL.) so I worked and saved to get the money for that too. I had to decide if I wanted to spend the money I got doing chores on a smaller toy or if I wanted to put it in that envelope and save it for something bigger. I've never bought anything I couldn't afford. I never put stuff on a credit card and made payments on it - I put it on the card and then paid the bill in full. My car was paid for in cash that I worked my ass off for (to say nothing of the hard work I put into actually FINDING a great, safe, affordable car. And it is a **** fine car if I do say so myself.)

Instant gratification is not something I've ever been big on either and that's a big problem for a lot of people. I had a friend who went to a store and ordered a computer, but then, instead of waiting the two weeks to get it, he decided instead to turn around and spend several hundred dollars more to get another one instead just because he wanted it NOW NOW NOW and just "couldn't" wait. I think we all know people like that. =P


But you know, whatever. For some people, they would rather be broke all the time and constantly have to worry about making their rent than, you know, stop going out to eat or going to the bars all the time, or not go buy the latest video game, or not buy a new pair of shoe or a DVD or this or that. If that's what they want to do, fine... that's their choice. And when they whine about it, I'll just roll my eyes.
Which reminds me, the same co-worker that moved into her mom's house to pay off one of her student loans also calculated how much she spent every month on eating out and has stopped eating out almost entirely so she can pay off her car loan... while another co-worker (who is older and constantly makes snide remarks to us because we're so obviously stupid just because we're younger than her) just a few weeks ago came back from going out to lunch and announces, as though she's PROUD of it, "I only have $6 until payday!" And how much did you just spend on lunch, you nitwit? But again... that's her choice. It's her money, her life... not my problem, and not MY bank account.

 

[Saeleofu]

My roommate also doesn't understand why I don't go after my parents for the moeny they "owe" me. Technically, they owe me $2000 + vet bills for the past 3 years. But I don't try to get it from them. I know they can't give it to me anyway - my dad makes less than $25,000 a year to support himself, my mom, and my younger brother (though my brother is moving into the dorms this fall). I know they would gladly give me the money if they could, but they can't. Plus, I bet I have used utilities and eaten food to make up for that $2000 in the times I lived there during summers and go over to eat a few times a week.

My parents did offer to let me live with them this year, but I declined. I can afford my own place (though barely), and I know it would have been one headache after another since AJ is dog-agressive with any dog other than Max. Plus I wouldn't have Logan now

The only thing I really NEED right now is a full-time job. I've even applied at Walmart and Target and placed like that because although I'm making $9/hr now, I'm only working part-time. I don't care what job I have as long as it's full-time, because even working full-time for minimum wage I'd be making more than I am now. She wants a new job too, but she won't go for anything not related to her degree (psychology, like mine) and she thinks she deserves $12+/hr.

 

[Snark]

Our folks didn't want us (my twin sister and I) to move out - We paid our own bills and they liked having someone around who could take over running the household (taking care of the house, animals, yard, plants, etc.) at a moment's notice if they had to leave town (all of our family is on the east coast) for an illness or funeral. We were also built-in housesitters/petsitters for their vacations (and no, we never felt we were entitled to invite ourselves along). Mom also preferred having us move furniture/heavy items for her when she wanted to paint/redecorate a room - we never complained or questioned why like Dad usually did (if it was up to him, the house would still be decorated in early 70s style).

All of us kids worked for what we wanted simply because our folks weren't going to dish out money for frivolous 'extras' - which included tv, stereos, cars, etc.