EDNOS.
It stands for "eating disorder; not otherwise specified."
It basically menas thta you have an eating disorder, but it does not fit into the typical standards of anorexia and/or buliema. And I am pretty sure I have developed it.
I've had a troubled relationship for food for the past 1.5 years. It started with restricting- majorly. I restricted to ~800 calories a day, and didn't exercise or anything. I lost all muscle mass I had and looked thin. I was always thin- I have a naturally fast metabolism- but I had become unnaturally thin. Luckily the restricting stage only lasted a few months. Soon after, I read about healthy eating and such. I began exercising and ate 1500-1700 calories a day. I was my best at this stage- I had began gaining muscle. I was healthy. But then, for something went wrong. In december. I began binging. Often. After the binging, I would NOT throw up, since I actually hate hurling, but instead restricted majorly the same day. Soon enough, it became binging every other day and restricting the next. I've tried to desperately stop the binging and restricting, but I can't. I even binged today. I'm at my wits end. I don't understand why I keep doing this- honestly I'm sick of it. On the days where I eat regularly, I feel happy, healthy- while on the days I binge I feel sick.
I'm frustrated. With myself. With my brain. With my perfectionitism but my lack of self control.
I think I'm just trying to get this out of my system.
starting tomorrow, no more binging. I'm going to eat what is on my plate and not get seconds- thirds- fourths, etc. I'm going to leave the rest and be healthy and satisfied-not stuffed and sick.
Wish me luck I guess.
/endrant
It stands for "eating disorder; not otherwise specified."
It basically menas thta you have an eating disorder, but it does not fit into the typical standards of anorexia and/or buliema. And I am pretty sure I have developed it.
I've had a troubled relationship for food for the past 1.5 years. It started with restricting- majorly. I restricted to ~800 calories a day, and didn't exercise or anything. I lost all muscle mass I had and looked thin. I was always thin- I have a naturally fast metabolism- but I had become unnaturally thin. Luckily the restricting stage only lasted a few months. Soon after, I read about healthy eating and such. I began exercising and ate 1500-1700 calories a day. I was my best at this stage- I had began gaining muscle. I was healthy. But then, for something went wrong. In december. I began binging. Often. After the binging, I would NOT throw up, since I actually hate hurling, but instead restricted majorly the same day. Soon enough, it became binging every other day and restricting the next. I've tried to desperately stop the binging and restricting, but I can't. I even binged today. I'm at my wits end. I don't understand why I keep doing this- honestly I'm sick of it. On the days where I eat regularly, I feel happy, healthy- while on the days I binge I feel sick.
I'm frustrated. With myself. With my brain. With my perfectionitism but my lack of self control.
I think I'm just trying to get this out of my system.
starting tomorrow, no more binging. I'm going to eat what is on my plate and not get seconds- thirds- fourths, etc. I'm going to leave the rest and be healthy and satisfied-not stuffed and sick.
Wish me luck I guess.
/endrant