~cries~

[iluvdogs]

Lastnight I asked my parents if I can go over to my ex's to watch a DVD..My mom said ya go, but my dad got upset. So I said ok forget it I wont. Well My mom kept going " Go laura, I would..Just go dont worry about it" So I went....Welll

When I got home they started a big fight with me and now I am sitting here crying and I have to work today soon. My mom said a lot of hurtfull stuff.

I lost my job at my dads work now, they wont help me get a new car. They pretty much called me a slut, cuz my mom said ya now your on E. I said No he gave me 10 for gas. And she laughs and goes ya what for the night? She said If I see him again, I am out of the house and if he calls here shes going to yell at him. She said his frineds prolly think I am a tramp...The list goes on!!!

I dont get it?..My mom TOLD me to go. and I get home to THIS??...I dont know what to do. Should I move to Vancouver and live with my sister?..I'm just so upset right now, I dont know if I can work, but I am just going to go so I dont have to be here.

 

[Bailey+Ralph]

Sorry your getting a hard time

I am also confused as to why your mum said to go and then is not so good about it when you got home.
Maybe her and your dad had an argument after you left and she is unwillingly taking it out on you?

 

[Melissa_W]

Aw, I'm sorry iluvdogs! That's really unfair. Does your mother do that kind of thing often?

 

[Renee750il]

(((((HUGS)))))) Just because they're mothers doesn't necessarily mean they make sense all the time. Mothers can hurt you deeper than anyone else.

 

[iluvdogs]

Bailey- I think my mom and dad talked when I left, and thought it was "wrong" of me.

Melissa- No, not really. I hardly ever fight with my parents, but when they have something set in their head that they think I did wrong, when I see nothing wrong in it...They do!

Renee- Thanks for the hug.

 

[cowgurl6254]

I'm so sorry I can't imagine being talked too like that by your own parents

 

[Melissa_W]

Ok, well at least it's not something that happens all the time. You'll probably be okay then... everyone gets in fights sometimes. I bet she will apologize later.

 

[iluvdogs]

I'm so sorry I can't imagine being talked too like that by your own parents

Ya its hard, I was just laying in bed and she started, and she just kept getting more and more mad and she wouldn't stop. I told her I don't want to sit here and argue, but she didn't listen. So then Trixie jumped on my bed, and I just tried to ignore my mom and pet Trixie ..Then she left and went in the front room and started yelling from their..I just got up and shut my door and she heard me and got mad!

So now shes in the front room, and I am here in my room waiting to go to work..But I called my ex and left a message with his Friend and told him if he wants to get a hold of me to not call my home number to call my cell. ..So I am PRAYING he gets it.

 

[jess2416]

Let me first say that I am sooo sorry that you are having to go through this,

BUT

*IN MY OPINION*

Have you ever just stopped and thought that your mom or whoever is acting this way because they CARE about you and they dont wont to see you get hurt....I have read your posts about your EX, and frankly I would act the same way....

I know she shouldnt be yelling at you and calling you names, but maybe that is the way that she thinks she will get through to you...

 

[Renee750il]

Caring is never an excuse to say those kinds of hateful things to your child. You might as well just hit. It's cleaner and the hurt doesn't last as long. I know.

 

[jess2416]

Caring is never an excuse to say those kinds of hateful things to your child. You might as well just hit. It's cleaner and the hurt doesn't last as long. I know.

I never said that her mom or whoever should have said those things.........

I know what I am talking about I went through the same thing....and you know what my MOM was right......

*I'm done*

 

[Renee750il]

Sometimes they're right . . . sometimes they aren't. Mine rarely was, Jess, and even on the few occasions she was right, being called that sort of names by your mother, the person who supposedly loves you no matter what you do, can be a thousand times more damaging in the long run than anything someone else could ever say - or short of violent crime - do to you. Our mothers have an incredible influence on our self-esteem, consciously and subconsciously, and it's so difficult to leave behind and transcend a mother's judgements.

 

[Angel Chicken]

"Caring is never an excuse to say those kinds of hateful things to your child. You might as well just hit. It's cleaner and the hurt doesn't last as long. I know."

Coming from a home that was both verbally and physically abusive, I know that words aren't worse than hitting is. It isn't cleaner either. I know that I would have much rather had my dad yelling at me than hitting me. The hurt lasts FOREVER. Nothing can fix it. However, if words are said, someone can say "Well, I apologize for saying that, do you accept my apology??". Saying mean things can be fixed.

ilovedogs,

They care about you. That is only the reason they are doing this. Keep your chin up, sweetheart, it will get better!

 

[iluvdogs]

Have you ever just stopped and thought that your mom or whoever is acting this way because they CARE about you and they dont wont to see you get hurt....I have read your posts about your EX, and frankly I would act the same way....QUOTE]

Yes, and I dont see no harm in just SEEING him. We said we will stay frineds since we were together for so long, and grew up together. I dont see what the difference is in seeing him or another guy frined of mine. Hes moving away in 1 week anyways. We just wanted to hang out before he left for good.

Calling me names, and taking my job away is not the way to show she cares.

 

[Renee750il]

"Caring is never an excuse to say those kinds of hateful things to your child. You might as well just hit. It's cleaner and the hurt doesn't last as long. I know."

Coming from a home that was both verbally and physically abusive, I know that words aren't worse than hitting is. It isn't cleaner either. I know that I would have much rather had my dad yelling at me than hitting me. The hurt lasts FOREVER. Nothing can fix it. However, if words are said, someone can say "Well, I apologize for saying that, do you accept my apology??". Saying mean things can be fixed.

I was very different on that score, Angel. The hits just rolled right off of me. I always knew that hitting was a sign of weakness and fear. When I was about seven or eight I was even foolish enough to tell my Mom that. I had welts and bruises for a week . . . but those healed and went *pfffft* because they had nothing to do with me and everything to do with my mother's flaws and her weakness and her fear. Physical violence to someone under your control is the act of a coward.

But the words, now those stuck. Like being flayed alive. She doesn't even remember most of it now, and I pray that she never, ever does. It would destroy her if she ever realized half of what she did . . .

 

[CanadianK9]

I have to agree with renee here

 

[Aussie Red]

Sorry that you had to go threw that.
Being a parent and having not done everything perfect myself I can say this to you.
Your parents are angry, worried and hurt. They want what is best for you and may be at the end of their ropes and not quite know how to handle this situation.
I'm sure that when things calm down they will let you know that they did not mean to act that way.
Young adults don't have the wisdom as older adults do and they may have made these mistakes themselves and are trying to steer you away from a bad situation, and not knowing exactly how to do it.
Let things calm down and then go to them in a non argumenitive manner and ask them why they felt they had to lash out at you that way and by all means let them know just how deeply it hurt you.
Going behind their back to see him again will only make it worse if and when they find out you did. Have them tell you why they feel this way and you tell them your intentions and see if you can not meet in the middle. I think they are in fear of your safty.
Remmember this ...... There are no perfect parents but there are no perfect children either. It is a big learning process for both parties. Just needs to be a whole lot of love.
Good Luck dear.

 

[Denaluvscorgis]

I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this right now!!!! ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

 

[darkchild16]

i agree with renee i just left my abusive home and i can deal with the hitting but its the words that im dealing with right now and will forever. i will never forget her saying she hated me and i was a pos. and i still feel that way about myself so to me u can hit me but dont call me names.

im so sorry you are going through this if u wanna vent u can pm me (((HUGS)))

 

[jess2416]

I agree, that the name calling was very wrong, and I am very sorry that you had to go through that...

I was just trying to point this out and this is the point that everyone missed that I said....

I know she shouldnt be yelling at you and calling you names, but maybe that is the way that she thinks she will get through to you...

Yes its wrong, but maybe she doesnt want to see you hurt like you said you were in past threads....

Edit- Nvr Mind