child support or not?

[sparks19]

OK so.... both parents know they are expecting.... up until a few months before birth they seem to be on the same page....

After that the father has decided he really doesn't care.

Should he have to provide financially for the life he helped create?

Sure he should get a say in how she is raised... IF he wants it... but in a recent case it appears that he doesn't want anything to do with the child or how it is raised. I would be done with a man like that too..


they get the fun part... have your fun and then walk away? The mother doesn't have the same choice... they have an innocent being growing inside them... and unless any man has given birth they can't possibly understand why it would be difficult to choose adoption...

AND if you choose to be part of that world up until a couple months or less before the baby is born... you should be held accountable for your part in the ACTIONS....

Hey... if he wants to be in the kids life... all the better but in many cases they DON'T want to be in the kids life and think they can get off scott free (no pun intended with "get off")

Why should the mother shoulder all of the financial burden... everybody knows what COULD happen when you have sex... you don't want to deal with it... don't have sex or be responsible for the child in some way, shape or form. it's ridiculous.

Our cousin has a 4 month old... she is working... she has to pay daycare bills... she is living with her mother... she has to shoulder all financial responsiblity for this child... the father has made it perfectly clear he does NOT want any part in the childs life... he wants to live his own life... he should pay for what his seed helped to create. men should not be free and clear of their responsibilities... you can't keep it in your pants? than you can't keep it in your wallet either.

it's is very SAD it even has to be a debate

I really feel sorry for anyone in this position.

BUT the point is NOT the mother or the father... why should that CHILD suffer because two consenting adults cannot come to an agreement

 

[blue]

Yes the father should have to pay child support, my dad didnt BTW.

If the father is forced to pay child support he should have a say in how the child is raised.

If the father dosent care how the child is raised should he still have to pay? Yes he should.

I have a few friends who are forced to pay child support but get no visitation and no say in the raising of their children, that is wrong.

I have another friend who is raising his son, the mother hasnt made 1 child support payment. She also hasnt made any demands for visitation or how their son is raised so he dosent give a crap the mother hasnt paid.

The point is, if the father is paying, by choice or forced, he should have a say in the raising of the child and be given visitation. If he is forced to pay, the mother should be forced to allow visitation, under non extreme circumstances.

 

[Mayasmydobe]

yes I agree with blue...
My son's dad doesnt seem to want anything to do with William. He called on William's birthday but before that it had been a very long time since I had heard from him. Would I have a problem letting him see William if he ever showed up? Yes it would be hard for me to do, but I would lt them spend time together, while I am present, no way would he get to be with my son without me around. I dont trust him not to take off with William.

 

[darkchild16]

those are my worries that if josh takes her and his mom is there.

 

[Samantha's pet]

Yes the father should have to pay child support, my dad didnt BTW.

If the father is forced to pay child support he should have a say in how the child is raised.

If the father dosent care how the child is raised should he still have to pay? Yes he should.

I have a few friends who are forced to pay child support but get no visitation and no say in the raising of their children, that is wrong.

I have another friend who is raising his son, the mother hasnt made 1 child support payment. She also hasnt made any demands for visitation or how their son is raised so he dosent give a crap the mother hasnt paid.

The point is, if the father is paying, by choice or forced, he should have a say in the raising of the child and be given visitation. If he is forced to pay, the mother should be forced to allow visitation, under non extreme circumstances.

I agree except if he doesnt want the child or care anything about it he shouldnt have to pay. If a woman doesnt want a child she has no obligations. She can put it up for adoption or even terminate the pregnancy. I why should the father have no say so in whether the child is kept or not and be forced to pay? I think he should be able to sign something and give up his rights and obligation just like the mother would if she put the baby up for adoption. I dont know the laws, though.

 

[Squishy22]

A father should have to pay no matter what. I think the father should get visitation rights and a say in how his child is raised ONLY if he is NOT a convicted child molester. Thats the case with my little sisters biological father. He has to pay child support, but cant have visitation rights because he spent 7 years in prison for sexually abusing me, years before she was born.

 

[blue]

no way would he get to be with my son without me around. I dont trust him not to take off with William.

those are my worries that if josh takes her and his mom is there.

Those are fair concerns.

 

[blue]

A father should have to pay no matter what. I think the father should get visitation rights and a say in how his child is raised ONLY if he is NOT a convicted child molester. Thats the case with my little sisters biological father. He has to pay child support, but cant have visitation rights because he spent 7 years in prison for sexually abusing me, years before she was born.

That would qualify as an extreme circumstance.

 

[blue]

why should the father have no say so in whether the child is kept

That is an entirely different fish fry.

 

[Squishy22]

I agree except if he doesnt want the child or care anything about it he shouldnt have to pay. If a woman doesnt want a child she has no obligations. She can put it up for adoption or even terminate the pregnancy. I why should the father have no say so in whether the child is kept or not and be forced to pay? I think he should be able to sign something and give up his rights and obligation just like the mother would if she put the baby up for adoption. I dont know the laws, though.

I dont agree with that. Look at how many men would stop caring about getting a woman prego. Why would he care if he didnt have to pay support??

You have to be responsible for you actions. You cant say OOPS I got her pregnant and now I am not going to support my own child that I helped create... I'm just gonna make her do it all. Were not in fantasy land, people. Yes, a woman can choose to get an abortion, but I dont believe in that either. BOTH parents should have to be responsible for their actions and stand up to the f*cking plate.

 

[Squishy22]

That would qualify as an extreme circumstance.

True.

 

[sparks19]

There are so many options to women with children who's fathers aren't around.

I'm sorry... I guess it just infuriates me how many women let the fathers off the hook because they are "scared"

There are so many laws that protect the mother over the father.... it takes TWO to tango and anytime you have sex you KNOW it could lead to a child.... if you can't hack it... don't have SEX... plain and simple. If you would get an abortion if you got pregnant just for birth control purposes... DON'T HAVE SEX... your urges are not that important... you KNOW what can happen when you have sex... if you are man or woman enough to take off your pants... your better be man or woman enough to deal with the consequences. UGH


the courts will ALWAYS side with the mother unless the father can PROVE she is hurting the child (abuse, starvation, neglect other EXTREME cases)... you should NOT EVER fear the father unless you have something to fear.

YES... a mother can adopt or abort (GOD forbid you make such a selfish decision because you had sex and wound up pregnant) a child... but what about when the father seems on board until 7 or 8 months of pregnancy? should you look forward to having a beautiful child until JUST before you give birth and then the father just walks away and you are forced with adoption because you can't afford it on your single salary? It's pathetic.... you certainly cannot abort at this stage and I could not imagine looking forward to a beautiful child for 8 months and then being forced to go the route of adoptiong because you can't afford it alone. No one SHOULD have to face that.

Men have the easy part. You get your rocks off and then leave if you want to. women have 10 months to bond with a child growing inside them.... I guess someone who has never had a child couldnt' really understand what that feels like. i would give life and EVERY limb to protect my beautiful baby girl.

If a father isn't around for months and months and then one day says "hey I want to come around for one day" I think you have legal right to refuse... take him to court for it.... perhaps I am ignorant but i think most judges would see that he hasn't been around for months and months and then suddenly wants to see the child for one day.... perhaps it's ignorance telling me that most courts do NOT EVER want to see children suffering at the hands of ADULTS.

I am truly blessed to have such a committed family. I really am sorry for those that have to deal with such things... and do so out of nothing but fear

 

[darkchild16]

Those are fair concerns.

hence me not holding him responsible. He could if he wanted to but he basically told me that he didnt care aobut either of us. And I'm sorry but if he starts to care 6 years down the line thats 6 years to late. IMO if hes not there at birth he doesnt deserve to be there ever.

 

[Samantha's pet]

That is an entirely different fish fry.

Well you cut out part of what I said. I think if the father wants any involvement in the childs life he should pay. If he doesnt he should sign something releasing all his rights to the child forever and not have to pay. He should have the option to have nothing to do w/ the child just as a woman could do (adoption). A man doesnt have a say in whether or not a child is kept (and he shouldnt) or not but he should have a say in whether he has to have anything to do w/ it.

 

[showpug]

Ugh. This has me so frustrated. What has happened to people? Where has the sense of responsibility, duty and obligation gone? This is a LIFE we are talking about here. YES, HE SHOULD PAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not wanting anything to do with your baby will always amaze me. Man or woman!!!!!!

 

[blue]

If he is paying to raise the child, he has a say in how the child is raised, reguardless of him witnessing the birth. If the father is paying, barring extreme circumstances, he has a right to visitation.

If the father isnt around for months or years, if he is paying he has a right to see his child and have a say in the raising.

 

[sparks19]

Ugh. This has me so frustrated. What has happened to people? Where has the sense of responsibility, duty and obligation gone? This is a LIFE we are talking about here. YES, HE SHOULD PAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not wanting anything to do with your baby will always amaze me. Man or woman!!!!!!

I am with you....

I can't believe that people think... oh you should jsut have an abortion or give up a child for adoption if that father is around for 8 months out of the 10 months of pregnancy....

SORRY... but A) I have HAD to have an emergency termination... there is NOTHING in the world more heartbreaking....

and B) after a certain amount of months you cannot HAVE an abortion... so if the father is on board for 8 months you should give the child up for adoption because he FIANLLY decides he doesn't want it?

Boy I wish life was so easy for me.

Not to offend single mothers but I am VERY VERY VERY glad I have a wonderful and supportive husband and FATHER when we had our beautiful little girl... and to be honest.. NO amount of fear would keep me from making him own up to RESPONSIBILITY.....

Again, you can't handle a baby... KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!!!!!

The CHILD is the only one that really suffers and doesn't have a choice.

 

[blue]

Well you cut out part of what I said. I think if the father wants any involvement in the childs life he should pay. If he doesnt he should sign something releasing all his rights to the child forever and not have to pay. He should have the option to have nothing to do w/ the child just as a woman could do (adoption). A man doesnt have a say in whether or not a child is kept (and he shouldnt) or not but he should have a say in whether he has to have anything to do w/ it.

What makes it a different fish fry is that the father has NO choice in whether the child is aborted, adopted, or kept. The father SHOULD have a choice in what happens to what he helped create, currently he does not. Therefore it is a different discusion than this thread.

 

[Squishy22]

YES... a mother can adopt or abort (GOD forbid you make such a selfish decision because you had sex and wound up pregnant) a child... but what about when the father seems on board until 7 or 8 months of pregnancy? should you look forward to having a beautiful child until JUST before you give birth and then the father just walks away and you are forced with adoption because you can't afford it on your single salary? It's pathetic.... you certainly cannot abort at this stage and I could not imagine looking forward to a beautiful child for 8 months and then being forced to go the route of adoptiong because you can't afford it alone. No one SHOULD have to face that.

Men have the easy part. You get your rocks off and then leave if you want to. women have 10 months to bond with a child growing inside them.... I guess someone who has never had a child couldnt' really understand what that feels like. i would give life and EVERY limb to protect my beautiful baby girl.

It would be complete bull if a father could just walk away like that after so many months, leaving the mother with no way of supporting her child on her own. How horrible and completely heart breaking. If that happened to me I would probably kill the guy. He should have to pay if he left or not.

People really dont realize how much a mother bonds with her baby months before its even born. Having to give away your child that you bonded so much with just because the father walks away would be DEVASTATING.

 

[Samantha's pet]

I dont agree with that. Look at how many men would stop caring about getting a woman prego. Why would he care if he didnt have to pay support??

You have to be responsible for you actions. You cant say OOPS I got her pregnant and now I am not going to support my own child that I helped create... I'm just gonna make her do it all. Were not in fantasy land, people. Yes, a woman can choose to get an abortion, but I dont believe in that either. BOTH parents should have to be responsible for their actions and stand up to the f*cking plate.

OK if we are talking morally yes. If we are talking legally no. I am saying what she be done legally. What I think is right is a whole different story. Legally if a woman can have an abortion or out her child up for adoption the father should be able to give up his obligations as long as he gives up his rights as well. No one SHOULD do that but it should be legal. It's only fair. If the woman has an option the man should have an option.

A woman can say oops. I got pregnant now I am going to give my child to other people or even abort my child (which I am morally opposed too)