Boyfriend emphatically opposed to adoption

[Melissa_W]

My boyfriend and I are moving out together this September, and so we are discussing getting a dog together. He's a very caring person and he loves animals, but he's had some very bad experiences with shelter dogs. He is pretty much convinced that shelter dogs inevitably have issues. He feels very bad that they don't have homes, but he doesn't want to bring the chaos of a troubled dog into our home. I can see where he is coming from, but I don't think that every shelter dog is troubled. I'm not opposed to getting our dog from a reputable breeder, that's something I can agree on. But it just kind of bothers me that he won't even consider adoption what so ever.

I'm curious to hear who agrees/disagrees with him and why. Also, does anyone have any credible resources/information that I could show him to change his mind? Anecdotal evidence is fine, but I doubt it will have an effect on him. In the end, if I can't change his mind, it's ok. I don't really have my heart set on adoption, but it's something I would personally consider.

 

[motherofmany]

Honest opinion here, don't work on changing his mind. Start off with a nice dog obtained from a reputable breeder, and then later add the rescue.

Sneaky, perhaps, but better than getting a rescue whose issues make your boyfriend's arguments appear to have merit. I happen to think all dogs, no matter where they come from, are going to have at least one "problem" or another that has to be worked on. They are as imperfect as we humans, but fortunately more loveable

 

[Melissa_W]

Honest opinion here, don't work on changing his mind. Start off with a nice dog obtained from a reputable breeder, and then later add the rescue.

Sneaky, perhaps, but better than getting a rescue whose issues make your boyfriend's arguments appear to have merit. I happen to think all dogs, no matter where they come from, are going to have at least one "problem" or another that has to be worked on. They are as imperfect as we humans, but fortunately more loveable

haha! That thought has crossed my mind.

 

[mojozen]

i agree with motherof many.

i'm pretty set against puppies myself. i don't need or want the extra work, or sleepless nights that most puppies seem to require. i am happiest when i can adopt an adult "shelter dog" that may have "issues," but also generally already has had some training in the past.

people have tried to change my mind on that score and it just hasn't worked. i know what i like, i know what i'm comfortable with. when it comes to getting the cavalier that my bf wants, it will probably have to be a female puppy... but ... we will see.

 

[Melissa_W]

i agree with motherof many.

i'm pretty set against puppies myself. i don't need or want the extra work, or sleepless nights that most puppies seem to require. i am happiest when i can adopt an adult "shelter dog" that may have "issues," but also generally already has had some training in the past.

people have tried to change my mind on that score and it just hasn't worked. i know what i like, i know what i'm comfortable with. when it comes to getting the cavalier that my bf wants, it will probably have to be a female puppy... but ... we will see.

I see your point. Maybe I should just go with what we can both agree on. But I've never been one to take the path of least resistance.

 

[Zoom]

I wish I could bring Sawyer to meet him! He's a rescue and has NO issues at from it! Same with Aubrey...and she was a shelter dog, twice. Her biggest thing was no leash manners and it's taken a while for a recall to stick, but that's just general training.

Have him meet with some various rescue orgs to see if that may change his mind some.

Where did you get your sheltie from? What does he think about a new dog?

 

[gaddylovesdogs]

When I got my lab, she did have some issues. She was very nervous and fearful. But she was (and still is) the sweetest dog ON EARTH. It's great to see her happy and confident today.

 

[Melissa_W]

I wish I could bring Sawyer to meet him! He's a rescue and has NO issues at from it! Same with Aubrey...and she was a shelter dog, twice. Her biggest thing was no leash manners and it's taken a while for a recall to stick, but that's just general training.

Have him meet with some various rescue orgs to see if that may change his mind some.

Where did you get your sheltie from? What does he think about a new dog?

haha, that would be fun!

Skye is technically Ion's dog (though I love him like my own), and he got him from a woman who was getting a divorce about 6 years ago when Skye was 3. He originally came from a breeder. I guess that Skye will be staying here with Ion's dad when we move out of state. We've lived together for periods of time in the past, but currently finaces will not allow it. Anyway, Ion has always had dogs, so he definitely wants to get one once we get settled in after the move. We're upset that we have to leave Skye behind, but Ion's dad can't bear to part with him, and it'd be tough for Skye (who's getting older) to move over 1000 miles away.

 

[Renee750il]

Hmmm . . . I'm with Mojo on the adult dogs vs. puppies. I'd much rather adopt an adult than a puppy. Not that puppies aren't cute and wonderful, but, like people, dogs are just more interesting and enjoyable when they aren't babies. And when there aren't midnight potty runs outside (or diapers, lol)! And with an adult - or even an adolescent - dog, you can get a pretty good idea of the dog's personality and whether or not the two of you are right for each other.

I've yet to have a problem or issues with any adult dog I've adopted. The closest I came to it was with poor Big, a GSD we brought home from the pound. He would NOT go into the woods with us when we were surveying. We found out later that he'd been shot . . . that pretty much told us why he wouldn't go into the woods!

All that aside, MoM's strategy is a good one

 

[~Tucker&Me~]

My grandparents had to put down their 3 year old shelter dog not long ago from some issues.

However, the new one is great! I think it really is a luck and chance thing.
Perhaps you could check out a breed rescue?Let him meet the dogs there .
They are so hard to resist.

~Tucker

 

[Dobiegurl]

I prefer puppies over adult dogs, but I have no problem adopting from a shlter. My mom wanted a puppy because she is in a wheelchair and we figured that it will be better for a puppy to grow up with the chair and learn as he grows how to react to it instead of bringing aa adult dog into the house that may be sensitive to certain noises or getting used to the chair.

 

[pitbulliest]

Ask him how he feels about having to puppy proof the house, dealing with housebreaking, and dealing with the fact that because its a PUPPY, you won't be able to know exactly what kind of personality and qualities the dog will develop............in an adult dog, you are more likely to be sure (although not always of course) that there won't be hugely surprising behaviors popping up out of nowhere...not to mention, alot of shelter dogs are already house trained and know basic commands like sit, stay, down, etc...

Oh, and of course, it won't cost you an arm and a leg...by that I mean, nothing over 1000..

 

[charley's mom]

I volunteer with an animal sanctuary for senior and special needs dogs, and I help out with several other rescue organizations. I've also shared my home with both shelter dogs and puppies. Personally, I'd take an adult dog any day - training a puppy is a TON of work.

However, there are lots of options for ensuring that the adult dog you get is the best fit for your household and doesn't have "issues" too great to handle. There are many rescue organizations, including breed-specific rescues, that keep their dogs in home-like environments rather than in kennels. Shelters that use kennels where dogs are overcrowded and tightly confined stress dogs out and it is hard to assess them under those circumstances. However, lots of rescues provide excellent opportunities by having dogs in less stressful environments, by making use of foster homes, and by doing careful personal assessments of the dog's temperment.

In fact, you might want to consider fostering an adult dog - it will give you an opportunity to see how the dog will affect your life and how each of you makes time to work with and play with the dog. If serious issues do arise, you have the support of the rescue to help deal with it and/or to rehome it. On the other hand, when boyfriend is thoroughly besotted with your foster, you adopt it!

Not all rescues are equally conscientious about knowing their dogs, so check each one out carefully. They should insist on doing a home visit, they should ask you many questions about how you will work with the dog, what foods you will feed it, what vet care you will provide, etc. They will ask you about your lifestyle, your plans for the dog while you are at work, what you know about the type of dog you are interested.

If you do decide on a puppy, please do LOTS of research on what makes a good breeder. Many backyard breeders and puppy mills spin a good line, but are not interested in the longterm welfare of the breed or your puppy.

There are so many dogs in shelters and rescues - please consider adoption.

 

[~Tucker&Me~]

Ditto Charleys Mom.


~Tucker

 

[yoko]

why don't you have a big open house and let him see all of our successful shelter dogs lol!!

would make anyone's heart melt ^_^ he'd have to have a heart of rock... no harder than rock! diamond! to turn down that face

 

[bubbatd]

I'd go rescue and fostering too. Most breed rescues know the backgrounds of the dogs. Many come from broken families, moving issues and many when elders have to go to a nursing home.