Be Here for Me

[Ash47]

I need you all right now. I am at my lowest point. My sister, mind you she is only 9. She has had brain cancer that has been in remission for two years. Now, they fear it is back. Her heart is now bad because of all the weight she has gained from meds she is taking, hyperpituitary, etc... She is facing death. I can't handle this. I am always the strong one in my family. This is a tough one to carry. She is my baby. I will come the closest to wanting to die if she passes. She is so innocent. She doesn't deserve this. I feel like I am crumbling. I have always tried to be a rock and carry the loads for everyone. I am breaking. I feel it. Please be here for me. I can't let my family know that I am weak. They keep telling me to let my feelings out. But I can't. I have to be the rock. I know they are there for me and I do talk to them. But I can't let them know that I am crumbling inside.

 

[blue]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and you sister.

 

[Ash47]

Thank you blue. I need all the support I can get.

 

[Manchesters]

Just Think......

Thank you blue. I need all the support I can get.

Your sister is not facing death......she is facing life everlasting. She is facing learning the mysteries of the ages. She is facing meeting God face to face. AND she will not have to go through another 60 or 70 years of aggravation, worry about finances, or being abused and misused by a boyfriend or husband. She gets to get t heaven without "passing go" as they say in Monopoly.

The only sad thing is that she won't be able to report back to us here just what wonders she sees and encounters! We each have to wait to take our own journey out into eternity.

She will pass away as an innocent. The pain she has been through is not insignificant, but if the cancer has returned they will keep her totally out of pain. That is what morphine is for.

Just think of her soul on its journey, passing the bonds of earth, going past the Hubble telescope, and the sun and planets and able to see them all first hand. She is in a way blessed. It is the rest of the family that will have to deal with the sadness, and missing her. But if she must go upon her journey now, no one should greive. Grief is purely selfish. OUR loss, OUR lonliness.

It is not her death that is to be worried about, but her life as it passes here on earth. And that she not feel any fear. That will be your job to do for her.

 

[Mordy]

i'm sorry to hear that.

sending many, many positive thoughts for you, your sister and the rest of your family.

*hugs*

 

[RD]

Pro, I'm so sorry. Sending positive thoughts, prayers and hugs your way.

We're here for you, always. ((hugs))

 

[skyhigh]

Im so sorry. My prayers are with you. Is she a Chrsitian? Stick in there. It is ok to sometimes let out your feelings. I'll keep you and your sister in my prayers.

 

[SallyandPippa]

Pro, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. If you do not feel able to talk through your feelings with your family perhaps you can find someone else who you would feel more able to talk to? Sometimes someone you don't know very well can be the easiest. Do they have the Samaritans in the USA? Just found the number for the Samaritans in MA - 866-912-HOPE (4673), give it some thought, you might find it useful to have someone to outpour to. They will listen without judgement or prejudice and you might find that just being able to let out all those pent up emotions a huge relief. Having to keep it all inside must be making you feel ready to explode. Also, if you are on MSN my ID is [email protected]....i have hypopituaritism myself so I can talk to you about that if nothing else, I'm not a pyschotherapist or anything but if you need some to explode, rant, rave or cry to I'm here. Please don't feel that you have to neglect yourself for your sister's sake, you will be no use to anyone if you drive yourself into that. Your sister needs you to be there for her, she needs you to be brave for her, she needs you to comfort her but she also needs someone to laugh with and talk to her like you always did before. No matter what happens you will always be her sister.

Take care sweetheart.

Sally.

 

[nedim]

Pro I'm so sorry that you all have to go through this. My heart goes out to your sister, you, and your family. I will be hoping for the best.


(((((HUGS)))))

 

[Irish]

Pro,
I can't imagine the pain that you are experiencing, but I know that you are a Christian (so am I), so you know you don't have to carry this alone. You know that God's will will be done, but we don't know yet that it is His will for your sister to leave this Earth just yet. Keep praying, as I know you are, and I will add my prayers too. I will pray that your sister recovers and also for you to be able to talk about your pain with your family. I know what its like to be viewed as the "strong one", but even the strong need to break down. Please feel free to PM me anytime, I want to help in anyone I can. God bless you.

 

[AnimalsAreforMe]

Pro I am so sorry and if you ever need to just let it all out you can pm me. I lost my grandfather to cancer and though it is not the same things as she is like you said so innocent i still know somewhat what you are going through.
My thoughts and prayers are with you

 

[Fran27]

I'm sorry Pro The world is so unfair, it's the kind of reasons why I don't believe in God anymore...

 

[yuckaduck]

You have always been there for me and I am here for you. Any time, email me, IM me, I will listen I will be your shoulder to lean on. My prays are with you and your sister and may god bless her with eternal life and happiness. You may grieve on my shoulder anytime. {{{HUGS}}} I am thinking of you!

 

[Becca_]

Oh Pro, I am so sorry to hear that. Such a scarey thing to face the possibilty of losing someone you love, and seems worse when it's someone so young. I know you want to be strong for your family, but it's ok to let it out. You know you can cry on our shoulders, we are here for you. And same here, if you need to talk, I'm here for you.

 

[Sunnypup]

Oh pro. I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. It sucks that anyone should have to go through that, but it sucks even more when it is an innocent little girl. I am praying for you and her. If it IS her time and she DOES know the Lord, rejoice for her for exactly the reasons manchester said. If she doesn't, make it your mission to make sure she does. Let her know how much you love her, and IT IS ALRIGHT TO SHOW EMOTION!!! For pity's sake you are 19. I am 4 years older then you and cry all the time. For that matter I am crying right now. Your family needs to know that you have emotions or you run the risk of them thinking you really don't care, which we all obviously know is not the case. It'll do you good. You may be the rock in your family but trust on THE Rock to hold you up. Lean on HIM who understands more then we ever can. Cry out loud to him about the unfairness of it all, stomp and yell and bawl. He's listening and He KNOWS about unfairness. It's okay to be angry. It is a stage of grief that we all go through. Oh pro maybe it's NOT back or maybe it'll go into remission again, luv, you can pray for a miracle too, even if the miracle is your baby sis passing peacefully without pain into the Kingdom, and you being okay with that. PM me if there is something spacific you would like me to pray about, or my church family for that matter.

 

[Tail_Chaser]

My sympathies and thoughts are with you Pro and your family. You might feel some the weight become lighter that makes you feel like you are crumbling if you actually let it out to your family.

 

[showpug]

I always believe that the good die young. It's just so sad and scary. I can't imagine the pain you must feel right now. You really don't need to be strong right now, you need to be human. That means breaking down and loosing it from time to time...

When the innocent die the way your sister may, I just have to believe that there is something awesome waiting on the other side for her, otherwise it just doesn't make any sense.

I am so sorry for this tradgedy and just know the Chaz gang is here for you. Take care.

 

[Martine]

Pro, I am so sorry to hear this, my thoughts are with you and your sister, big hugs xx

 

[smkie]

i am here for you ...((((((hugs)))))))) you need to talk i am all ears....have you been to the support group? are you able to attend her doc appt with her? Give her all you can and you will not only be her supporter, but she will support you too.

 

[Renee750il]

Pro dear, try to remind yourself that you are on a journey, just as your loved little sister is. The two of you get to walk along the Way together for awhile, but someday you must find your own Way. Her Way may take her to a different plane of existence, but true sisters are never parted - they just walk different pathways for awhile, but always, always you will find your way back to each other - here or hereafter.

You and your sister can lean on each other and comfort each other. The greatest gift you can give to her, when and if the time comes, is to let her go with love; with the reassurance that you will continue to love her and be the cornerstone of comfort for your family that you have always been.

E-mail me whenever you want or need to . . .