Asking a question and getting a lecture...

[Tobysmom]

On a certain thread someone was asking for potty training tips for one of their dogs. They stated that they got thier dogs from a pet store. They also post that they knew puppys in pet stores come from mills but wanted this particular dog anyway. The link to the thread is below. Read it. Someone had to post a mini- lecture about pet store puppys. I just think it was a little rude. No advice about the potty training problem at all. Just had to put in their 2 cents about where the dogs came from. The person who started that thread probably wont ever come back. I wouldn't either if I was asking a training question and got ridiculed about the origin of my dogs.

Anyway, here is the thread:

http://www.chazhound.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26307

And btw-just because you start your post off with "I am not trying to be rude..." it doesn't make what you say seem any less rude.

 

[brock23]

On a certain thread someone was asking for potty training tips for one of their dogs. They stated that they got thier dogs from a pet store. They also post that they knew puppys in pet stores come from mills but wanted this particular dog anyway. The link to the thread is below. Read it. Someone had to post a mini- lecture about pet store puppys. I just think it was a little rude. No advice about the potty training problem at all. Just had to put in their 2 cents about where the dogs came from. The person who started that thread probably wont ever come back. I wouldn't either if I was asking a training question and got ridiculed about the origin of my dogs.

Anyway, here is the thread:

http://www.chazhound.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26307

And btw-just because you start your post off with "I am not trying to be rude..." it doesn't make what you say seem any less rude.

So true. Just like everyone knows that one person who always starts their conversations by saying "now I am not a racist, but..............."

 

[RD]

I see your point, and what's done is done, but you can't make a post about making a decision on getting a pet store pup (despite knowing better) on a forum full of passionate dog lovers and expect to get a reply in support of that decision.

 

[Zoom]

While I don't feel it was necessary to point out the exact thread, I do agree with the sentiment. We as a board seem to be running into the problem of getting so caught up in a particular part of a post that we ignore the real issue and instead create pages upon pages of ideological debate, when most times all the OP wanted/needed was "try a litter box" "see the vet" "don't feed them that anymore".

I know we've driven off more members recently than we've kept and that disappoints me.

 

[Allykat]

I totally agree with you. Its a shame that instead of getting helped they got lectured.

 

[zoe08]

I agree too, we should try to help the people instead of leacturing them. This drives away a lot of people from forums, and we should be welcoming to everyone who comes here.

What is the point in lecturing them on something that is already done? What do you expect them to do now? Take the puppy back?

 

[Zoom]

I'm all for education...maybe we need a few new stickies dealing with petstores/bybs and then we can simply post the link with a suggestion to look at it and keep the thread on topic.

 

[Tobysmom]

I'm all for education...maybe we need a few new stickies dealing with petstores/bybs and then we can simply post the link with a suggestion to look at it and keep the thread on topic.

Thats a good idea.

 

[jess2416]

I'm all for education...maybe we need a few new stickies dealing with petstores/bybs and then we can simply post the link with a suggestion to look at it and keep the thread on topic.

I found a pretty good website
http://www.prisonersofgreed.org/

 

[Amstaffer]

It would have been nice to get the person to stay awhile and slowly educate them rather than beat'em down and send the away. Some people avoid education because they fear exposing their ignorance on a topic. That person stepped forward, taking a chance on showing their "ignorance" and they had their proverbial nose rubbed in "it".

We missed an chance at helping a person and dog.

 

[corsomom]

I was not rude to this person.
this is someone who gets all there pups from pet stores. She says she knows all about the horrors of puppy mills, yet helps to keep them going.My sister bought her first puppy from a pet store. When I showed her all about puppy mills it made her sick. she bought her next pup from a reputable breeder, she did not get all pissed off.If this was someone who had 1 dog from a pet shop I would not have said anything, but to say you know all about the horrors and keep supporting them is wrong. Some people you can educate, most take offence I guess.I care most about the misery of these poor dogs, is this not a dog lovers forum?

 

[mojozen]

Speaking for myself since I did participate in that thread - I take the opportunity to speak up about the hot button topic BECAUSE it's not just the OP reading it. It's also other people who may not know WHY pet stores are bad. I try to word things politely, but I also will still continue to state my opinion on pet stores because I think all too often we will forsake education in the over effort to be polite and not "run someone off."

 

[KellyB]

I just want to give you all a new person's prospective on this forum.

I think that the information here is great. I joined the forum about 2 months ago when my husband and I adopted our first puppy. I started out posting some questions and people were generally pretty nice. But then I posted something that was apparently a "stupid" question. My dog had lost a whisker, I didn't know they shed just like fur, and I got laughed at and made fun of for asking the question. Then I posted about how my dog pulled but only on the way home and someone posted that she was obviously not well trained and needed more training.

My whole thing is, I KNEW she needed more training. I wanted advice on how to do it. I felt like the comment was not necessary, especially considering that the thread had some great suggestions.

I just think that if some people could be a little less judgmental and condescending and realize that not everyone has all of the knowledge that a lot of you members do. I think that anyone who comes on here should be commended and respected for seeking out knowledgable advice about their pet.

I think if everyone could remember that the new people on here are here because they truly care about their pet and are trying to do what's right by the pet (even if you personally do not agree with how/where/why/when they got the pet or something else that they say) that people would feel more welcome.

After the experience I described above, I have not posted again until today. I felt embarrassed about posting and went to another forum. I've still been reading some things on here though because I think many people on here have fantastic suggestions for first time puppy owners like me.

That is just my two cents. It isn't meant to be offensive. Just a suggestion.

 

[Fran27]

I see both points here. This guy indeed said he got several petstore puppies, while knowing about puppy mills, and somehow it rubs me the wrong way. I just personally have a hard time wanting to help someone like that. That, and I'm tired of the 'they don't have small dogs at the shelter so we got one from the petstore/BYB' excuse. But I guess some people care more about themselves and their wants than about puppymills or dogs being poorly bred. Can't change those people I'm afraid.


Oh and I totally agree with Kelly above.

 

[PFC1]

I read the other thread. I saw nothing offense. Sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes it needs to be said anyway.

 

[soft pawz]

KellyB i totally agree with you. poeple who join are here because they DO care about their dogs otherwise they wouldnt even be on a forum.

i red the two threads that hurt your feelings and didnt find anything wrong with them. to me it didnt seem like anybody is trying to make fun of you or saying you are not training your dogs good nor did i find your question about the whisker in any way stupid. i didnt know better either and found that question interesting. dont be scared to post something!

i guess that is another problem with forums ingenerell. everybody reads it a bit different. some things that are just said to fool around or to give advice might seem funny to one reader, offensive to the next...


its a normal thing that not everybody agrees with you 100%. we all come from different backgrounds, countries and have different temperaments.
we shouldnt take things so personal. not every reply that doesnt agree with us is wrote to personally attack us.
i for example always wonder if i got the whole "english" part right because it is not my mother language. always makes me hope that i really said what i wanted to say and that i used the right words.

personally i like it better to get an honest answer that disagrees with me than a fake one that tells me how right i am just to be polite.
i agree that we should all try to stay on topic a bit more though.
if the question is about potty training we shouldnt post page after page about petshop puppies. but mentioning the issue is still appropriate IMO. after all coming from a petshop was one of the pups problems so its not really off topic as long as you dont turn the complete thread into a puppymill one.

maybe we shouldnt be so touchy either. a reply can only bother you if you let it bother you....
poeple critizising your actions is just part of life. there will ALWAYS be somebody disagreeing or telling you you are wrong. we should just take it for what it is. a different opinion.

 

[KellyB]

I guess part of my point was that, as a new person to this forum, sometimes things come off as a little harsh. For people who know the others on here, it may be taken in a totally different context. All I know is that I felt it was unfair for a person to say my dog wasn't well trained or make fun of me saying "you know their fur sheds too". But maybe regular users know the people better and take things differently. I'm only saying this as someone NEW to the forum.

I guess it's just tough when you're trying to "meet" new people on this forum and decide what they're like over the internet. Maybe I was overly sensitive, but I didn't think it was fair when I stood up for myself and said my true feelings about the things that I was accused of "attacking" people.

Bottom line, for me anyway, is that people who really love dogs are here looking for ADVICE, not CRITICISM. I think there are good ways to tell someone (especially someone you don't know) that they're doing something wrong. But this is just my opinion. I don't harbor any bad feeligs about those old posts, I just thought I would share my experience so maybe people understand where newer people are coming from and why people aren't staying with this forum.

 

[DanL]

Kelly, I don't think it has anything to do with people being regulars or not. Some people have a holier than thou attitude when it comes to training or advice. It's easy to be a critic, and harder to give some real help. Hang in there- there are plenty of people who WILL help you, you just have to read past the ones that would rather say you are wrong and not give any helpful advice.

 

[smkie]

While I don't feel it was necessary to point out the exact thread, I do agree with the sentiment. We as a board seem to be running into the problem of getting so caught up in a particular part of a post that we ignore the real issue and instead create pages upon pages of ideological debate, when most times all the OP wanted/needed was "try a litter box" "see the vet" "don't feed them that anymore".

I know we've driven off more members recently than we've kept and that disappoints me.

me too...fact is most people have no idea until AFTER they have purchased the dog and then beginning researching when problems arise. A good portion of the time a dog is a spontanous decision even for people that know better. Puppies are hard to resist. I have been searching for a qoute about letting your reply go through three doors before responding..and i don't know where the book is. I was going to add it to my siggy. One was i think is it necessary, the other accurate and finally is it KIND. When i do find it i will post. Seemed like wise wise words to me.
That is one of the reasons i stay out of the training and breeding forums. I Know a lot and will respond if i think it will help but the constant debate of whose methods are the best make me weary.

 

[PixieSticksandTricks]

I agree 100% because it has happened to me here. I do think we drive away more people then we keep and thats why I have tried not to be rude. Or there is that always if you can't say something nice )or reply to the original question) don't say anything at all. I will reply to the topic and then I may later throw in my opinion on anouthers opinion which is usually them bashing the OP. But I always try to reply to the original poster first and formost.

As a pretty regular member you learn to take the site with a grain of salt. Though we don't have a debate forum it happens alot here. It is hard for a new member to fit in here I know I was one. But eventually I found my place as unstable as it may be. We all find our place here eventually. Unless you are bored and just feel like starting trouble. Then your place may be alittle harder to find.