Advice with the girl I babysit ...Kind've grose
- Thread starter IlUvMyAnImAlZ05
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CALL SOCIAL SERVICES IMMEDIATELY. You are obligated to, and if someone else reports the situation and it's revealed you knew about it and did nothing, charges can be pressed against you too.
I'm not trying to sound threatening, but I've worked in daycare and I know how important it is to do something when a child is being neglected and abused.
I'm not trying to sound threatening, but I've worked in daycare and I know how important it is to do something when a child is being neglected and abused.
If you do call social services ask to file a report but ask if they would not mention your name. This little girl needs help but she needs you. I would not be surprised though if the mother says something like we never knew she was having these problems. She did take her to the doctor so noone can say that she didn't take her. I think the mother is doing the littlest possible just so she does not get in trouble. Mark's ex-wife is the same way we have called social services on her a couple times they had investigated and will not take the children because they are not in danger of losing their lives (after all she gets medical care for them...eventually and when her boyfriend disciplines the kids he doesn't do it so bad they break arms/legs or need stitches). it's a 50/50 thing on what could happen. It's scary to be in your position but I think you will know what to do.
I would take the child to a government hospital. That way you don't have to pay for anything. Also the paper trail can start. Ask one of the doctors to get social services into the hospital and make a report. That way you can say that the doctor called them and you had to make a statement.
Please, get this baby some help. I can't imagine how scared she must be.
Please, get this baby some help. I can't imagine how scared she must be.
I don't think anyone is suggesting to turn a blind eye on this child....
Sometimes...(Imho most of the time) the social service system does not work for a child... (to much red tape to go thru) alot of the time they are left in a home, just because abuse was not happening during their visit.... and no medical proof of abuse. While the child is still running barefoot with no coat in Feb... Even some of the teachers I have talked with understand the homelife of their students, yet nothing is done, even after a teacher has reported them... This is relying on the system and alot of the time it just doesn't work, or so many children would not remain in abusive homes.....
I have fed and given shoes to kids running in feb....... to two different families within a five year time, and my calls did nothing for them. In reality the only thing my time did was to give them a meal, and give them shoes to keep their feet warm. The calls apparently made no difference....
Sometimes...(Imho most of the time) the social service system does not work for a child... (to much red tape to go thru) alot of the time they are left in a home, just because abuse was not happening during their visit.... and no medical proof of abuse. While the child is still running barefoot with no coat in Feb... Even some of the teachers I have talked with understand the homelife of their students, yet nothing is done, even after a teacher has reported them... This is relying on the system and alot of the time it just doesn't work, or so many children would not remain in abusive homes.....
I have fed and given shoes to kids running in feb....... to two different families within a five year time, and my calls did nothing for them. In reality the only thing my time did was to give them a meal, and give them shoes to keep their feet warm. The calls apparently made no difference....
I'd take the child to the ER, tell the docs EXACTLY what the child has told you. THEY will contact the proper authorities so that it isn't your burden. you don't need to be in the middle of a nasty situation, you just would be taking the child for medical care. I truly would take the child today, even if there are no signs of blood. it was there yesterday, and it could be serious. you have a responsibility as the babysitter, too. if you don't....that mom could turn around and say it's your fault.
she isn't a legal guardian, but by taking the child to the ER they would then contact the mom. BUT...at least she could talk to the docs prior to mom getting there. docs are required to contact authorities if abuse is suspected. I'd let them handle it after a close examination. who knows...it could really just be an infection and a child with a tendency to exaggerate. but they'd know the difference after the exam.
A three year old would not exaggerate to that extent in my opinion. My nephew is 3 and when he is sick he tells it like it is. His doc says kids at that age do not overplay illness. That starts at about 5.
The kid is bleeding from her anus, she needs help. I cannot help but wonder about sexual abuse??
The kid is bleeding from her anus, she needs help. I cannot help but wonder about sexual abuse??
Hey all,
Thanks for the advice. She should be here anytime now. So, I will see how she is feeling today and if there is anymore blood. Yes, there are more than just her in the family, they have two other kids that are older.
I don't think DSS would do anything about it if they were contacted and told what was going on.
I will keep you all updated.
Thanks for the advice. She should be here anytime now. So, I will see how she is feeling today and if there is anymore blood. Yes, there are more than just her in the family, they have two other kids that are older.
I don't think DSS would do anything about it if they were contacted and told what was going on.
I will keep you all updated.
Thats what always happened to me. My brother adn i openly admitted it and had horrendous bruises and stuff i really dont want to go into those details and yet my brother is still there after my mom drove drunk and got in a accident and child services came. She was actually drunk when they came to so those who say child services, unless hse can go annonemously(sp?) its not the best route.
I think you should go with the emergency room and get the doctor to contact social serv. I know people say they don't always help, but you should try. THE MOM DID NOT TELL THE DOC ABOUT THE BLOOD. WHAT IS SHE HIDING!!!!! I am a mother and not a perfect one by any means but that is not normal at all. Please try to help these kids. My child would have been at the ER getting every test known to man if they had those symptoms . I would have even asked the doc Myself if he thought my child may have been molested. MOMS BEHAVIOR IS NOT NORMAL.
I agree with Debi. Take her to the ER explain things to the doctors. Let them handle it.
You can call social services and most likely it will make things worse for you, her and any other kids in the family. I'm not saying they don't need to be called but let the doc handle it. If you give them insight into any abuse that is happening they will know what to look for and can start documenting it. Social services don't just say "Oh really? She's abused? Let's go get her."
I can't remember how old you are but you might want to have an adult with your for your own safety. Especially if the dad is called to the hospital.
By reporting it to hospital staff you can get the ball rolling without drastically upsetting everyone. I really feel for this kid and I don't think that anyone is saying she doesn't need help. She obviously does.
Another thought is that you can start keepign a journal of what goes on when you babysit. That way the girl will still have you in her life like Julie said and you can keep track of what you see.
You can call social services and most likely it will make things worse for you, her and any other kids in the family. I'm not saying they don't need to be called but let the doc handle it. If you give them insight into any abuse that is happening they will know what to look for and can start documenting it. Social services don't just say "Oh really? She's abused? Let's go get her."
I can't remember how old you are but you might want to have an adult with your for your own safety. Especially if the dad is called to the hospital.
By reporting it to hospital staff you can get the ball rolling without drastically upsetting everyone. I really feel for this kid and I don't think that anyone is saying she doesn't need help. She obviously does.
Another thought is that you can start keepign a journal of what goes on when you babysit. That way the girl will still have you in her life like Julie said and you can keep track of what you see.
I totally agree with Karyn. It sounds to me like she is being sexually abused by what you've described. This is very serious and we are obligated to protect children and get them the help that they need. I totally understand how you feel, but sometimes we just have to bite the bullet and get involved in messy situations.
We had a young boy come into our ER a few years ago and he was DOA because the mom's b/f abused him sexually, beat him and stomped on his abdomen. He tried to cry out for help from others and no one wanted to get involved...now he is dead. This little girl needs help right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please keep us informed about her. I'll be praying for you both!
We had a young boy come into our ER a few years ago and he was DOA because the mom's b/f abused him sexually, beat him and stomped on his abdomen. He tried to cry out for help from others and no one wanted to get involved...now he is dead. This little girl needs help right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please keep us informed about her. I'll be praying for you both!
Me to Melissa!!! It was the worst day of my career here at the hospital. The little boy had been in the ER with injuries several times before...social services was notified....the school (teacher) had been documenting his changes in behavior. He would sleep a lot of the time when he was at school. It just broke my heart to think of this 6 yr old little boy being tortured on a daily basis like that and he had no one to help him. The mother and her boyfriend are in the state prison. He got life with no chance of parole and she got 25 years because she allowed it to go on.
It was the worst day of my career here at the hospital. The little boy had been in the ER with injuries several times before...social services was notified....the school (teacher) had been documenting his changes in behavior. He would sleep a lot of the time when he was at school. It just broke my heart to think of this 6 yr old little boy being tortured on a daily basis like that and he had no one to help him. The mother and her boyfriend are in the state prison. He got life with no chance of parole and she got 25 years because she allowed it to go on.