You Know You're From Rhode Island When...
You celebrate "birt-day"
If your oldah brodah is a retad.
If you had a "wickit" good time at the beach.
When you hear an amazing fact your immediate reply is "no suh!"
You can drive two miles with out seeing a Bess Eaton
You know the difference between red, white and clear chowdah
You consider a car journey of longer than one hour a day trip.
You can you curse in Italian.
You know the basic rules of DuckPin bowling.
You own garden tools from Job Lot.
You have tried to drive the measured mile in less then 45 seconds.
You know what the expression "side by each" means.
You have used the expression "Not For Nuthin" or "bubbla".
You serve bread with every meal.
You know what "3 all the way" means.
You load up on milk and bread before a snowstorm.
You feel compelled to hear at least one weather report a day.
You understand the humor of the Ocean State Follies.
You have pulled out of a sidestreet and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you could make a left-hand turn.
You consider your holiday season incomplete without a trip to Lasalette Shrine.
You have a bottle of coffee syrup in the fridge right now.
You've phoned into a talk show on WPRO or WHJJ.
You have given a bottle of Sakonnet wine as a gift.
You've gotten sick from eating too many clam cakes.
You own at least one coffee table book with a picture of a lighthouse on it.
You've boasted about the money you saved at the Christmas Tree Shop.
Your first live concert was at The Civic Center or Rocky Point.
You own a hat with a red "P" on it.
You were born at Lying-In Hospital.
You still call the Rhode Island Mall the Midland Mall.
You have close relatives who work for the state.
You've gone to "Legs and Eggs".
You have used a demolished landmark when giving directions.
You secretly watch "Providence" even though you tell your friends you don't.
You have slammed on your breaks to discourage a tailgater.
You know what a burger "The Newport Creamery Way" is.
You have dated a girl named Brenda or a guy named Vinnie.
You have used the breakdown lane on 95 to pass someone.
You've personally met Vinnie Paz.
Your idea of a dream house is a raised ranch.
You have relatives who have been to Edgehill Newport, Codac, or Butler.
You have driven more than 5 miles out of your way to save less than two bucks.
You been on a RIPTA bus less than 12 times in the past 6 years.
You can sing the Rocky Point theme song.
You know what a "governor-preferred" plate is.
You know someone who works for the Registry.
You've asked your mechanic for an inspection sticker even though your car failed to pass.
You have a degree from RIC, CCRI or URI.
You think vodka and Del's is a great combination.
You've been to Twin Oaks for your birthday.
You've borrowed dealer plates from a friend.
You know how to pronounce Pawtucket, Cowesett, Usqepaug, and Narragansett.
You've been to Scarborough Beach but not Block Island.
You know where "The Pier" is located.
You've been on a Bay Queen cruise.
You can recognize a Cranston accent.
You think high hair, gold chains, and gum go together.
You think there's a "v" in the name Cheryl.
You drop the "w" in Greenwich, Kingstown, and Warwick.
You use the expression "down-city" for downtown.
You've eaten at Haven Brothers.
You celebrate St. Joseph's Day and know what a "zeppolla" is.
You have at least one gallon of Newport Creamery coffee ice cream in your freezer.
You know what "ProJo" stands for.
You still call CCRI "reject".
You know who Jack Comly, Sara Wye and Sherm Strickhauser are.
Your city house and your beach house are less than an hour away from each other.
You know the original name for Airport Road.
You always start giving directions by saying, "Well, you get on 95"
You know where "NiRoPe" comes from.
You know what "John from Alpert's" sounds like.
You can recite the license plates of all your family members and friends.
You know where "Harvard on the Hill" is located.
You refer to the movies as the Show.
You know what a "package store" is.
You think lots of gold jewelery looks great on the beach.
Your favorite expressions are, "Are you serious?", "Wicked", and "You know what I'm saying?"
You know you need "quahogs" to make "stuffies".
You know there's a West End but not a West Providence.
You think banana, vanilla, and idea all end in "r".
You know what a burger "The Newport Creamery Way" is.
You put vinegar on your french fries.
You've eaten at Haven Brothers, drunk.
You know what Allie's makes.
You've gone to Cumbie's for milk or gas. (HAHAHAHA Cumbie's!!)
You know that there is never any school in Fosta-Glosta when it snows.
The girl you ended up marrying lived no more than 6 blocks from where you grew up.
You've converted the basement of your house into an apartment.
You call spaghetti sauce, "gravy."
You tell friends that something is "on special", instead of on sale.
The meal at every wedding you've ever attended was chicken, shells and french fries.
You put celery salt on your hot dogs.
You are never from Providence, or East Providence, but from the East Side, Rumford or Riverside
You order an iced coffee in December.
You read the wedding announcements in the Sunday Pro-Jo and recognize at least 3 couples.
The seltzer guy delivers bottles to your home on a weekly basis.
People at work wish you a "Happy St. Joseph's Day!
Your holiday season isn't complete without a trip to LaSallette Shrine.
You know someone who knew the Farrelly brothers when they lived around here.
You know exactly which parts of Dumb and Dumber, There's Something About Mary, Meet Joe Black and Amistad were filmed in RI, and you can tell someone exactly where that is.
You know what the Coffee Cup Salute is, and who does it every morning.
You grew up with everyone you see at Stop and Shop.
You know where South County is, even though it doesn’t exist.
You and everyone you know are either Italian or Irish, or both.
You've never been farther south than Jersey, and not farther West than there, either, but are planning to move to Florida as soon as you turn 60.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Rhode Island.
You celebrate "birt-day"
If your oldah brodah is a retad.
If you had a "wickit" good time at the beach.
When you hear an amazing fact your immediate reply is "no suh!"
You can drive two miles with out seeing a Bess Eaton
You know the difference between red, white and clear chowdah
You consider a car journey of longer than one hour a day trip.
You can you curse in Italian.
You know the basic rules of DuckPin bowling.
You own garden tools from Job Lot.
You have tried to drive the measured mile in less then 45 seconds.
You know what the expression "side by each" means.
You have used the expression "Not For Nuthin" or "bubbla".
You serve bread with every meal.
You know what "3 all the way" means.
You load up on milk and bread before a snowstorm.
You feel compelled to hear at least one weather report a day.
You understand the humor of the Ocean State Follies.
You have pulled out of a sidestreet and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you could make a left-hand turn.
You consider your holiday season incomplete without a trip to Lasalette Shrine.
You have a bottle of coffee syrup in the fridge right now.
You've phoned into a talk show on WPRO or WHJJ.
You have given a bottle of Sakonnet wine as a gift.
You've gotten sick from eating too many clam cakes.
You own at least one coffee table book with a picture of a lighthouse on it.
You've boasted about the money you saved at the Christmas Tree Shop.
Your first live concert was at The Civic Center or Rocky Point.
You own a hat with a red "P" on it.
You were born at Lying-In Hospital.
You still call the Rhode Island Mall the Midland Mall.
You have close relatives who work for the state.
You've gone to "Legs and Eggs".
You have used a demolished landmark when giving directions.
You secretly watch "Providence" even though you tell your friends you don't.
You have slammed on your breaks to discourage a tailgater.
You know what a burger "The Newport Creamery Way" is.
You have dated a girl named Brenda or a guy named Vinnie.
You have used the breakdown lane on 95 to pass someone.
You've personally met Vinnie Paz.
Your idea of a dream house is a raised ranch.
You have relatives who have been to Edgehill Newport, Codac, or Butler.
You have driven more than 5 miles out of your way to save less than two bucks.
You been on a RIPTA bus less than 12 times in the past 6 years.
You can sing the Rocky Point theme song.
You know what a "governor-preferred" plate is.
You know someone who works for the Registry.
You've asked your mechanic for an inspection sticker even though your car failed to pass.
You have a degree from RIC, CCRI or URI.
You think vodka and Del's is a great combination.
You've been to Twin Oaks for your birthday.
You've borrowed dealer plates from a friend.
You know how to pronounce Pawtucket, Cowesett, Usqepaug, and Narragansett.
You've been to Scarborough Beach but not Block Island.
You know where "The Pier" is located.
You've been on a Bay Queen cruise.
You can recognize a Cranston accent.
You think high hair, gold chains, and gum go together.
You think there's a "v" in the name Cheryl.
You drop the "w" in Greenwich, Kingstown, and Warwick.
You use the expression "down-city" for downtown.
You've eaten at Haven Brothers.
You celebrate St. Joseph's Day and know what a "zeppolla" is.
You have at least one gallon of Newport Creamery coffee ice cream in your freezer.
You know what "ProJo" stands for.
You still call CCRI "reject".
You know who Jack Comly, Sara Wye and Sherm Strickhauser are.
Your city house and your beach house are less than an hour away from each other.
You know the original name for Airport Road.
You always start giving directions by saying, "Well, you get on 95"
You know where "NiRoPe" comes from.
You know what "John from Alpert's" sounds like.
You can recite the license plates of all your family members and friends.
You know where "Harvard on the Hill" is located.
You refer to the movies as the Show.
You know what a "package store" is.
You think lots of gold jewelery looks great on the beach.
Your favorite expressions are, "Are you serious?", "Wicked", and "You know what I'm saying?"
You know you need "quahogs" to make "stuffies".
You know there's a West End but not a West Providence.
You think banana, vanilla, and idea all end in "r".
You know what a burger "The Newport Creamery Way" is.
You put vinegar on your french fries.
You've eaten at Haven Brothers, drunk.
You know what Allie's makes.
You've gone to Cumbie's for milk or gas. (HAHAHAHA Cumbie's!!)
You know that there is never any school in Fosta-Glosta when it snows.
The girl you ended up marrying lived no more than 6 blocks from where you grew up.
You've converted the basement of your house into an apartment.
You call spaghetti sauce, "gravy."
You tell friends that something is "on special", instead of on sale.
The meal at every wedding you've ever attended was chicken, shells and french fries.
You put celery salt on your hot dogs.
You are never from Providence, or East Providence, but from the East Side, Rumford or Riverside
You order an iced coffee in December.
You read the wedding announcements in the Sunday Pro-Jo and recognize at least 3 couples.
The seltzer guy delivers bottles to your home on a weekly basis.
People at work wish you a "Happy St. Joseph's Day!
Your holiday season isn't complete without a trip to LaSallette Shrine.
You know someone who knew the Farrelly brothers when they lived around here.
You know exactly which parts of Dumb and Dumber, There's Something About Mary, Meet Joe Black and Amistad were filmed in RI, and you can tell someone exactly where that is.
You know what the Coffee Cup Salute is, and who does it every morning.
You grew up with everyone you see at Stop and Shop.
You know where South County is, even though it doesn’t exist.
You and everyone you know are either Italian or Irish, or both.
You've never been farther south than Jersey, and not farther West than there, either, but are planning to move to Florida as soon as you turn 60.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Rhode Island.
Or, one time I walked into Dunkin' Donuts, and ordered an Iced Coffee, and the girl goes "I ain't gots no machine what makes iced coffee" 
