dream? pregnant?

**gets on her soap box**


this is for all the young mothers out there who think they can not or will not make it.. i was a young mother, i graduated high school June 2nd 1993 and my son was born June 20th 1994... yes, i agree with some of you on here when you say "she is too young, she has her whole life ahead of her blah blah blah..., but, what i think alot of you are missing is the fact that she should have every right to have a baby, ALOT of people have children at young ages,( my cousin had her first child at 16 was married, then divorced by choice, remarried and now has 3 beatiful children and does wonderful).. life is a struggle with or without children. when i was 19 i had a very very tough choice, the father of my baby walked out on me ( just like another poster on here did) and YES it was very very hard, i had to find day care i had to go to work ( which i did 6 weeks after he was born) and i have been working ever since then.

my point is this, what right does anyone have to say that this person can or can not have children??? who do you all think you are?? just because she is young, has nothing to do with having/wanting children. back in the day 16 was TOO old to have children OMG, you were considered an Grandmother by then ( right grammy? no offense), but, some how, some way, they all made it today. my mom had me when she was just shy of 21 and she struggled each and every day, my dad was serving in the military back then OVERSEAS, she had no one to comfort, yet alone help her get thru it.

AZ, i back you up 110% if YOU think you are ready to have a child then GO FOR IT!! you never know what tomorrow will bring, you sound like you have wonderful head on your shoulders, and you will make a great mom! from what i have read about you, you take the negative things that people say and prove them ALL wrong!! way to go girl...

the reason i say this is because of Nancy stated she crammed all the info into her daughters head, and now look what happened she is preggers, unmarried, and no job?? so, what does this teach us?? the more we tell young people not to, they are going to. maybe i am saying this because with my mom, we were so open with one another, i was able to come to her at anytime and aske anything. H@LL at one point she was taking me to buy TOYS and sexy clothes, then a MOVIE!! OMG, i soo thank her for all the things she has taught me. it is because of her, that my son ( now 13 years old) i can handle very comfortably, if i had anyone of you has my parent, i would have ran away, got married and never talked to you again.

in closing, i think what young people need is MORE support, more understanding anD LESS nagging, complaining and finger pointing. because, all of us were there at one point or another.. could i care less you agree with me or not? nope, because if i had to do my life over again i would do it the same way everyday!!

AZ, there are several places you can go to get help ( food, clothes, diapers,) let me know if you need anything and i will listen with open ears!

back in the day 16 was TOO old to have children OMG, you were considered an Grandmother by then ( right grammy? no offense), but, some how, some way, they all made it today.

just a quick q for ya if ya do not mind. not to judge you because i do not know you,

how do you KNOW he will not walk out on you? my guy said that ( and we were together for 3 years ring date) and all, then BAMOO, i got preggers and he was on the first ship out of town!!!

i love how woman say that " he will leave you and you will be sorry, yet, when they say anything about their men, OH heaven forbid.. THAT would never happen!! its guys like that who walk out on a dime

Wow. And what a role model YOU are. Let's keep encouraging 16 year olds to go out and get pregnant. Because a 16 year old is mature enough to make life changing decisions that will not only impact their lives, but another life as well. A 16 year old was still considered a child THEMSELF last time I checked. You even mentioned that you and your mother had to struggle. Why PLAN a baby if you are going to have to struggle to provide for yourself and the child?! A baby needs a stable environment to grow up in.

You're also basically telling her to go on welfare and get help with things for a planned baby... which if you can't afford diapers and food, you should not be planning a baby.

You wound up pregnant at 18 years of age, and you said that because your mom bought you sex toys ( :yikes: ) that made you more responsible?! Ahhh... I really don't know what I can say to this.



And the average life expectancy was also like 40... so try again .

And bringing Nancy into the situation? Way to go completely off base. Nancy's daughter will be bringing a child into a STABLE home life, and will have a lot of help from LOVING grandparents. Which isn't the situation that the OP is in. And another member's life is quite frankly something that should not be brought into a thread which has nothing to do with her.

Your post infuriated me so much that I had to reply at 1:23am. Your advice is always so classy and helpful.

Nancy stated she crammed all the info into her daughters head, and now look what happened she is preggers, unmarried, and no job?? so, what does this teach us?? the more we tell young people not to, they are going to.

maybe i am saying this because with my mom, we were so open with one another, i was able to come to her at anytime and aske anything. H@LL at one point she was taking me to buy TOYS and sexy clothes, then a MOVIE!! OMG, i soo thank her for all the things she has taught me.

Wow. And what a role model YOU are. Let's keep encouraging 16 year olds to go out and get pregnant. Because a 16 year old is mature enough to make life changing decisions that will not only impact their lives, but another life as well. A 16 year old was still considered a child THEMSELF last time I checked. You even mentioned that you and your mother had to struggle. Why PLAN a baby if you are going to have to struggle to provide for yourself and the child?! A baby needs a stable environment to grow up in.

You're also basically telling her to go on welfare and get help with things for a planned baby... which if you can't afford diapers and food, you should not be planning a baby.

You wound up pregnant at 18 years of age, and you said that because your mom bought you sex toys ( :yikes: ) that made you more responsible?! Ahhh... I really don't know what I can say to this.



And the average life expectancy was also like 40... so try again .

And bringing Nancy into the situation? Way to go completely off base. Nancy's daughter will be bringing a child into a STABLE home life, and will have a lot of help from LOVING grandparents. Which isn't the situation that the OP is in. And another member's life is quite frankly something that should not be brought into a thread which has nothing to do with her.

Your post infuriated me so much that I had to reply at 1:23am. Your advice is always so classy and helpful.

ok, here we go, first of all i am NOT telling 16 year olds to go out and have a free for all and have all the babies they want! what i am saying is that when you are having sex and do end up preggers, then, it should be up to the person having the baby to decide wether or not the baby will be loved and cared for.

for the comment you made about struggling, I do not care if the baby was planned or unplanned you will always struggle, parenting does not come with instructions, and for your information i also had a father, and a sister, and my mother there to help me when i needed it, my son had colic, cradle cap, and he was dehydrated ( not faulted by me, that is another story), and yet, at my age i made it... when you become a parent you are never prepared. you can have the best paying job the perfect house, the perfect marriage and then the next day BAM!! your life falls apart, your hubby leaves you and you lose your job.. then what, give up the baby because your life went to h@ll?!?!


i may have not had the best start with my son, but, yet, somehow, someway i made it..

as for the Nancy, thing i was using her statement as an example, basically saying that no matter what background you come from, it still happens!!

as for my mother offering sex toys and such, did i say it made me more responsible NOPE!! i am saying that because i was able to come to her and tell her what i was feeling, she was able to tell me point blank what will happen... Boy, Jesse, you sure have a personal thing against me for some reason, maybe it is because we come from 2 diff places? or because since you think you can be nasty to others and think it is ok?


i feel tht my advise is just that advise, it does not have to be picture perfect, nor does it have to be off the wall, it is called REAL LIFE!


BTW do you have children?

I think you need to re-read your first comment. You point blank told her to GO FOR IT if she thought she was ready.

You are right about never being ready for a baby. But when you feel you are financially, emotionally, and mentally ready to care for a baby it makes a big difference. Yes, freak things can happen that throw life off track......BUT when you aren't ALREADY struggling to take care of yourself, and your baby you can handle those things better. Do you have that when you are 16 and most likely working a minimum wage job with no savings? Nope....

In your original post you made the comment that if you had anyone of us as a parent you would have ran away and never talked to us again. I'd say the same thing if I was your child....

**gets on her soap box**


this is for all the young mothers out there who think they can not or will not make it.. i was a young mother, i graduated high school June 2nd 1993 and my son was born June 20th 1994... yes, i agree with some of you on here when you say "she is too young, she has her whole life ahead of her blah blah blah..., but, what i think alot of you are missing is the fact that she should have every right to have a baby, ALOT of people have children at young ages,( my cousin had her first child at 16 was married, then divorced by choice, remarried and now has 3 beatiful children and does wonderful).. life is a struggle with or without children. when i was 19 i had a very very tough choice, the father of my baby walked out on me ( just like another poster on here did) and YES it was very very hard, i had to find day care i had to go to work ( which i did 6 weeks after he was born) and i have been working ever since then.

my point is this, what right does anyone have to say that this person can or can not have children??? who do you all think you are?? just because she is young, has nothing to do with having/wanting children. back in the day 16 was TOO old to have children OMG, you were considered an Grandmother by then ( right grammy? no offense), but, some how, some way, they all made it today. my mom had me when she was just shy of 21 and she struggled each and every day, my dad was serving in the military back then OVERSEAS, she had no one to comfort, yet alone help her get thru it.

AZ, i back you up 110% if YOU think you are ready to have a child then GO FOR IT!! you never know what tomorrow will bring, you sound like you have wonderful head on your shoulders, and you will make a great mom! from what i have read about you, you take the negative things that people say and prove them ALL wrong!! way to go girl...

the reason i say this is because of Nancy stated she crammed all the info into her daughters head, and now look what happened she is preggers, unmarried, and no job?? so, what does this teach us?? the more we tell young people not to, they are going to. maybe i am saying this because with my mom, we were so open with one another, i was able to come to her at anytime and aske anything. H@LL at one point she was taking me to buy TOYS and sexy clothes, then a MOVIE!! OMG, i soo thank her for all the things she has taught me. it is because of her, that my son ( now 13 years old) i can handle very comfortably, if i had anyone of you has my parent, i would have ran away, got married and never talked to you again.

in closing, i think what young people need is MORE support, more understanding anD LESS nagging, complaining and finger pointing. because, all of us were there at one point or another.. could i care less you agree with me or not? nope, because if i had to do my life over again i would do it the same way everyday!!

AZ, there are several places you can go to get help ( food, clothes, diapers,) let me know if you need anything and i will listen with open ears!

**gets on her soap box**

yes i did say is she was ready to have a child then by all means go for it.

let me ask you this. what makes you think at 16 your life ends? are you saying that all 16 yr olds have no money? no savings? or a low paying job? i do not know where you are, but, at 16 yrs old here, they all have there own cars, phones and money coming from parents ( including credit cards), and yes, they even have savings accounts, hek most of them have checking accounts ( with parents cosigning on them)... ALOT has changed over the years and just because you are 16 does not mean you are not stable, finacially emotionally and physically. hek, my 13 year old came home from school the other day and said that he knew of a 14 yr that was having a baby, and she was doing paper routes, mowing lawns, and baby sitting, granted it is not the best thing, but, i give her credit for at least trying.

they also have programs for young teens where they can get help getting jobs, daycare, prenatal care, and NO it is NOT state fundedm they are privately owned businesses that help teens. when i was preggers with my son i had baby your baby and WIC and that was about it. now adays, though you can get help from just about anywhere. so, unlike alot of those who think at 16 you are not old enough take care of yourself, boy oh boy are you wrong..

yes i did say is she was ready to have a child then by all means go for it.

let me ask you this. what makes you think at 16 your life ends? are you saying that all 16 yr olds have no money? no savings? or a low paying job? i do not know where you are, but, at 16 yrs old here, they all have there own cars, phones and money coming from parents ( including credit cards), and yes, they even have savings accounts, hek most of them have checking accounts ( with parents cosigning on them)... ALOT has changed over the years and just because you are 16 does not mean you are not stable, finacially emotionally and physically. hek, my 13 year old came home from school the other day and said that he knew of a 14 yr that was having a baby, and she was doing paper routes, mowing lawns, and baby sitting, granted it is not the best thing, but, i give her credit for at least trying.

they also have programs for young teens where they can get help getting jobs, daycare, prenatal care, and NO it is NOT state fundedm they are privately owned businesses that help teens. when i was preggers with my son i had baby your baby and WIC and that was about it. now adays, though you can get help from just about anywhere. so, unlike alot of those who think at 16 you are not old enough take care of yourself, boy oh boy are you wrong..

are you saying that all 16 yr olds have no money? no savings? or a low paying job? i do not know where you are, but, at 16 yrs old here, they all have there own cars, phones and money coming from parents ( including credit cards), and yes, they even have savings accounts, hek most of them have checking accounts ( with parents cosigning on them)... ALOT has changed over the years and just because you are 16 does not mean you are not stable, finacially emotionally and physically.

yes i did say is she was ready to have a child then by all means go for it.

are you saying that all 16 yr olds have no money? no savings? or a low paying job? i do not know where you are, but, at 16 yrs old here, they all have there own cars, phones and money coming from parents ( including credit cards), and yes, they even have savings accounts, hek most of them have checking accounts ( with parents cosigning on them)...

they also have programs for young teens where they can get help getting jobs, daycare, prenatal care, and NO it is NOT state fundedm they are privately owned businesses that help teens. when i was preggers with my son i had baby your baby and WIC and that was about it. now adays, though you can get help from just about anywhere.

wow.. ok and uh.. even if you do get pregnant at a young age doesnt make you a bad mother. my mom was a teen mother. my grandmother was a teen mother, and my nina was a teen mother and they are GREAT parents. theres good and bad people out there. theres teens that make fantastic mothers, some well not really. im not saying teens should have sex or have babies at a young age but i am just saying if it DOES happen what can you do? you can be there emotionally and help them out. give them the advice they need and maybe incourage them a little. not belittle them because they are teen mothers. ( not saying anyone is being too negative towards the subject )