I was at Walmart for about 30 minutes, maybe less, to get spray paint, masking tape, and a box so I can finish my nephew's costume. The idiots were out in full force :wall:
1. In the parking lot, headed inside
Trucknut Man (from inside his truck) "HEY! HEY YOU! YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT DOG IN THERE! HEY!"
He never leaves his truck, and I just ignore him.
2. Walking into the store, but past the foyer
"HEY MA'AM! HEY!...Ugh, nevermind."
I ignore whoever it was, because I just don't respond to that sort of thing anymore.
3. In aisle near electronics, a woman talking to a police officer
"Is that there one of your PO-lice dogs??"
4. Just a few feet later, headed towards the spray paint.
Stocker stalker "Nice dog. OH, IS THAT A COLLIE!?"
I'm actually sort of hopeful and impressed at this point - "Yup, he's a smooth collie!"
Stocker stalker "Cool! I want a sheltie, you know, the mini version!"
*headdesk*
5. In the duct tape aisle
PETADouche (I hear him coming from 3 aisles away) "Hey, there's a DOG. I'm going to go follow that dog! It's one of them special dogs. I'm going to go pet him. I want to see the DAWGGGGG!"
(as he turns into the aisle) "HEY, is that one of them...you know...slave dogs?"
Me (wondering what the hell this guy is on) "He's my service dog."
PETADouche "Oh. Can I pet him?"
Me "No, he's working."
PETADouche "Working dogs should be pet and loved too!"
Me "He gets love and pets from ME, since he is MY dog. He's not here for your pleasure."
PETADouche (ranting now, and wandering into adjoining aisles talking to nobody in particular) "The dog is WOKRING! Apparently he gets paid to be a SLAVE! And her can't even get pet! I already asked, don't even bother asking! SLAVE dog. Slave dogs need petting, too!...."
(I actually tried to follow this guy for shiggles, but I lost him).
6. Back in the duct tape aisle
Frobeard "What sort of aid dog is that?"
Me "He's my autism service dog."
Frobeard "Oh, cool. My daughter has a big lab rott mix that helps with her epilepsy."
Me "Cool."
Frobeard "He's not trained, he just started doing it on his own."
Me (hoping this dog doesn't actually go in public) "Some dogs are natural alerters."
Frobeard "He's 102 pounds."
(I'm REALLY hoping this dog doesn't go in public...)
Frobeard turns and I THINK he's done, but NOPE! "He's called a chocorott. His mom was a chocolate lab, and his dad was a rottweiler. So he's a chocorott. He weighs 102 pounds."
Me ... "...that's a big dog..."
Frobeard finally leaves as I make myself look REALLY absorbed in the duct tape
7. Cartpusher Train is about 6 aisles away when I cross in front of them
Engingeer (to the Caboose) "WHOA! WHOA! STOP!!!!!!"
Caboose "What now?!"
Engineer (about 5 1/2 aisles away) "DOG."
8. At the checkout
Bagger lady "Is that a puppy?"
Me "No, he's actually 4 years old."
Bagger lady "Oh, he's aged well!"
Bagger lady (later, as I'm leaving) "You're older than me, dog!"
Me "Heh...o.0"
9. On the way out
Jerkface *whistles to dog, then clucks a bit*
Me *deathglare*
Jerkface "Here doggie doggie..."
Me *deatherglare*
Jerkface "...nice dog?"
Me *deathglare*
10. This one was actually at Dillons, as three floor cleaners are going in the vicinity of the checkout
Cashier "I thought he's be afraid of those machines."
Me "Nope, he can't be, or he wouldn't be a good service dog. He's not really afraid of anything."
Cashier "But dogs are afraid of loud noises."
Me "Not this one!"
Cashier *confused stare*