I am so tired of trying to make things work in my life, and try to figure out what to do, and the decisions I needed to make like yesterday.
I couldn't get enough financial aid to support myself through school in Arizona. So I'm staying here. I'm currently going to a community college. I can't decide on a degree program. I work 10-6 Sunday-Thursday..I can't find a program that has classes during the times I'm available. I could move my schedule around and do like a 5pm class once a week or something, but there are still a handful of classes that aren't offered at that time. I was aiming for a biotech degree but one of the classes is off campus..like two hours away from my house...three times a week..in the middle of the day
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I've been leaning towards a vet tech program but I end up with the same result, I'm not available for a full time, week day schedule. So I was thinking of just finishing out general studies or a business degree (online mostly)...but I don't think that will get me farther in life. I can't not work. Considered looking for overnight or evening work, no, I love my job and I would hate to give it up.
So then I'm still living with my mother, who is insisting I pay a large amount of rent, and I'm considering buying a house instead. Rent here is insane. But then I'm stuck here. I don't like this state. I would like to be in Arizona. And my car is having some squeaking and rattling noises. Everyone is saying to get rid of it, a Ford isn't going to last much past 100k miles. I'd be happy to pay a few repair bills, but what if I turn around in a few months and the transmission dies? But if I AM going to buy a house, I'd rather do that before buying a new car.
I really need to make some decisions
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And then I started seeing my ex again. I've known him a few years now, we've dated maybe like 3 months total. I agreed to start seeing him again, and last night he pulls out the I love yous and is talking about living together.
Thanks for freaking me out. I really do like him, I think he is a nice guy, but I think I have some relationship issues and throwing that at me all at once freaks me out. Oh, and I find myself thinking of this song when I'm with him.
[YOUTUBE]fUYaosyR4bE[/YOUTUBE]
He's a bit vanilla (in a lot of aspects), and it worries me. I've been with people that I'm enthralled with, I can't get enough, I want to be with them all the time, everything is great. With him, it's just not so, but it isn't really "bad"...I don't know if I need to get over myself or what.
If you read all that you deserve a cookie or something.
opcorn: