You know you're a dog person if.... All dates must pass your dog's inspection All of your clothes have dog hair on them, even when they come back from the laundromat or dry cleaners. You get birthday cards for each of your dogs from family, friends, and the vet. (Bonus if you keep them on the refrigerator for more than a month.) Every gift you ever get has something to do with dogs All your non-dog friends know to dress down when visiting your house Books and movies are ruined for you if the dog references are incorrect. Onlookers grimace at the sight of you sharing your sandwich with your four-legged pal, bite for bite Dog hair in food is just another spice. If you are cold, you put a sweater on your dog. Any conversation you're having is effortlessly directed back to the topic of dogs 90 percent of your Internet connection time goes to the dogs (seeing what's new when you enter your breed into the browser, reading up on multiple lists, checking out photos, sounds and faqs, etc.). All kinds of things around the house are in need of repair, but the injured dog you rescued by the side of the road requires immediate surgery and out comes the checkbook All of your charitable donations go to dog-related and humane society groups. All of your furniture came to you second hand or via curbside discard, but your dog crates are top of the line, industry premium. All your social activities revolve around other dog people Your voice is recognized by your vet's receptionist Anyone can look at your (pick all that apply) --- T-shirt - sweatshirt - coffee mug - keychain - beach towel - cooking apron - couch throw - tote bag - computer screen saver/wallpaper/mousepad/wristpad/monitor frame - gift wrapping paper - photographic displays - calendars - refrigerator magnets -weather vane - door mat - bumper stickers - umbrella - Christmas sweater -socks - embroidery project - child's collection of stuffed animals - sheets and bedspread - checks - checkbook covers - throw pillows - Home Pages --- and know immediately that you are a dog lover, AND probably what particular breed you favor. At least three of your five weeks vacation are scheduled around grooming, vaccinations and dental cleaning...all for the dogs! Complete strangers call you on the phone to ask questions because they heard you were a" dog person" Dog crates double as chairs and/or tables in your family room Everyone at the office is eager to know if the dogs are all right because you were late for the meeting In upstate New York this year, let's get out the map and see what else is interesting in that area..." or "Let's go on a walking tour or Savannah so we can bring the dogs along now what hotel chains allow dogs?") You are on an email list with other dog people and each one of them feels like more than family. Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week. More than half your grocery money goes to dog food and treats Most of your social life is with other dog people. Most of your vacation pictures are of dogs around the world. No matter how large your bed is, it is not large enough for you and your dog(s). Nobody's feet are allowed on the furniture, but your dogs are welcome to sleep on any piece they so choose On your Christmas list to 'Santa' you only want crooks, whistles, jumps, doggie sweater, doggie 'gum ball machine', a place to have sheep, and oh yes, the sheep. Order 5x7 photos of the kids and order 16 x20 of SPOT. Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other. Relative solidity of dog excrement is a suitable topic for discussion in mixed company. The cost of boarding your furkids equals that of your entire vacation The highlight of your day is spending time with your dog. The instructions to the dog kennel are longer than the instructions to the house sitter. The largest display of collectibles in the house is dog stuff -- plates, photos, cards, etc. The most exciting times on vacations, no matter where in the world you go, is when you get to pet a dog (a "canine fix"). The only (or at least first) forum you log onto is the animal forum The only time you use your camper is for dog shows. The sound of any liquid hitting the floor two rooms away at 3 a.m. Is enough to launch you out of bed; but otherwise you can sleep through a ringing telephone, the alarm clock, earthquake tremors, etc. The thought of changing a baby's diaper makes you swoon, but you can pick up dog poop barehanded, if necessary, without batting an eye The total "poundage" of canines outweighs the total poundage of humans in the household. The trash basket is more or less permanently installed in the kitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it while you're at work. The whereabouts of all your important legal and personal documents escapes you, yet you know precisely where to locate the file that includes all the vet records, breed papers and registration To win a precious $.75 show ribbon, you think nothing to forking out hundreds of dollars to board/pet sit the other dogs, pay for entry fees, gas, accommodations and meals While proudly showing off your family album, your guest asks, "Isn't there anyone else in your family besides the dog?" You and the dog come down with something like flu on the same day. Your dog sees the vet while you settle for an over-the-counter remedy from the drugstore. You and your family haven't had your annual check up in two years, but the dogs are all medically up to date You are the only idiot out walking in the pouring rain, but your dog needs her walk. You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because your dog is afraid of the vacuum cleaner. You become paranoid about keeping ID on your dog at all times (collar, tags, microchip, tattoo), but don't bother to carry any ID yourself. You become the family dog kennel for all your relatives You believe every dog is a lap dog. You believe it is your duty to talk to, pat, and even feed every dog in the neighborhood. You know their names. You break down and buy another pillow so you can have one to sleep on You buy a bigger bed that will comfortably sleep six You buy premium quality dog kibble for your dog, but live on take-out, frozen pizza, and blue-box macaroni and cheese yourself. You can only remember people by associating them with their dog You can't fully enjoy yourself without your dog. You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are nose-prints all over the inside. You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times. You carry plastic "pick-up" bags and an extra kennel lead in your purse, pocket, and car at all times. You chirp, cluck, whistle, make kissy noises, and give "stay" and "heel" commands to your car. (Bonus: if you do this and give the "beg" command to your significant other.) You describe your children as having temperaments rather than personalities You don't go to happy hours with co-workers any more because you need to go home and see your dog.