as most of you know, I've had to put Brenna to sleep recently, I am only posting this to explain why. I feel better about it now, and have absolutely no regrets about it at all. Pretty much to sum it all up, Brenna got a big lump on the back of her neck a while ago and i had it removed and there was something like a 70% chance that it would not come back, I was told that before I had the lump removed, I was also told that she was too old and it wasn't worth it to get the lump removed. I had the lump removed anyway and she recovered just fine. All was well up unit about a week and 1/2 ago. I got a call on my cell around 3 in the morning saying that Brenna was sounding weird when she was howling. and not in a good way, She normally howled for me while I was away. She was really concerned about Brenna which is NOT normal, so i just left that morning to go see Bren. When I got there an picked her up, I knew something was not right, she was acting very weird and making low wimpers. I thought cuddling with her would make her more happy, but that's when i found out that she was in pain. I didn't even sleep after that, I was just sitting there with her until the vet's opened. I took her in there and told them what was going on and what needed to be done. The vet knew me pretty well so her just went in the back while I went n one of the rooms and he got me the needle prefilled and left the two of us alone. I just held her in my arms and put her down, just holding her while she passed. She was happy and not afraid when she went. I drove her home and it started to rain on the drive home, it was still raining the entire time I buried her. I;m still hurting, but she is better now and pain free.