Why do you lurk?

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by Linds, Oct 11, 2012.

  1. Linds

    Linds Twin 2

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    See, and I totally came here to make friends.

    I love that about Chaz, the meeting people, friending them on fb, starting to chat to them more one on one, getting to know them more, meeting them in person, and making some amazing connections with people. A good number of the people that I count as friends I met on an online forum and while unconventional and worrying to my coworkers (cause you know you all are 40 year old middle aged men....except for those that say they are, you guys are teenage girl serial killers) I find it wonderful how small the world has become.

    I love that people I met on an online dog forum have become close confidents and friends.

    As I've gotten older and lost most of my friends from high school I've become WAY more shameless about approaching people online and off and saying "Hey! I like you! Lets be friends" and that's the tactic I've come to use a lot on this forum.

    Chaz was intimidating in a way when I lurked for two years but after is started actually posting I realized it really wasn't. I've met wonderful people, I've made wonderful friends and I've learned a ton. Wouldn't want it any other way.

    So I guess part of it is that it is what you make of it and what you want out of it
     
  2. This. I love that about Chaz.

    I mean, look at me and Linds. Thanks to Chaz, I found my Twin and a family. I spend Christmas with them every year, and they treat me like one of their own. They even made a 5ish hour trek out to the middle of nowhere just to spend a couple of hours with me when I was in Indiana this past spring. They mean far more to me than my bio family ever did.

    And after the break in, when I was having so much trouble with Tempie and very nearly put her down, so many Chazzers rallied to lend me their support in any way that they could. Smkie was especially helpful, putting me in touch with people and sending me so much information, not to mention checking in with me almost every day to see what kind of progress we'd made.

    I've watched Chazzers band together in more ways than I can count, in ways that really warm the heart. The information I get off of this forum is great and all, but what keeps me coming back is that family feel.
     
  3. ~Dixie's_Mom~

    ~Dixie's_Mom~ ♥Chloe & Violet♥

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    Awww thanks!!!! :D

    It's actually pretty far, like 3 1/2 hours or slightly more. I'd be willing to drive once I get my license though! Whenever that is! Lol! I'd love that! :)

    ETA: Actually, where in Texas are you? Because I have family in Deer Park (Houston-ish area).
     
  4. Laurelin

    Laurelin I'm All Ears

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    ME TOO! I have the need to talk and talk and talk and talk in real life too. (Well, once I get to know you). I hate awkward silences. I tend to make things worse though as I talk more.
     
  5. Catsi

    Catsi New Member

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    See, I'm the exact opposite. I'm cool with silence, but I'm also happy for someone to fill the silence as long as I don't have to 'keep up' the whole time. I often wonder if I make it awkward for the more talkative among us? I do love to chat, but I'm not very good at starting conversations if that makes sense? I'll participate if someone brings up an interesting topic (and of course I'll chat if it's just small talk).

    I'm going to perhaps make a bit more effort on Chaz, just see how it goes. :)
     
  6. oakash

    oakash Kat/Oak AKA The Nice One

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    I have most definitely made friends here. But actually I think that I mostly got to know people through a internet game that Jess made me play. On a side note, I'm actually a professional stalker, so that could be another reason why I don't like to start threads or go into the scary big debate threads.
     
  7. Toller_08

    Toller_08 Active Member

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    I don't even know how many posts I have, but I think somewhere around 6000 in the six and a half years I've been here... but I don't even remember saying that much or even know what I possibly commented on. I bet most of them are just a billion posts of pictures of my own dogs, LOL. I still consider myself kind of a lurker (in spurts) regardless of post count.

    I love Chaz and I love the family feel it definitely has, but I also agree with those that have said that they sometimes feel like an intruder. There are definitely members here who obviously are great friends and get along super well, so I always feel odd commenting on posts or threads where those particular people make up the majority of the posts. I don't want to be the geek in the corner where everyone is wondering why I'm interrupting. That's no fault of their own at all. It's awesome that they're so close. It's my fault for feeling like I might intrude and not getting more involved I suppose.

    I love making dog board friends, though. There is a girl from the very first forum I ever joined who I really, really enjoy hanging out with and I am her 'go to' dog sitter. I don't hang out with her enough just because life is busy, but she's the only real life friend/person that I really connect with dog wise and going out and doing something with her is always fun. I really suck at making friends though, apparently online and in real life. I just can never think of anything to say to get somebody interested in talking to me I guess, because I'm not nearly as shy even as I used to be, so I don't know exactly what it is. But in six years of being here on Chaz I can't say that I've made any close friends (although there are a couple that I really like and love talking to on FB and such and wish I were better friends with them!). I've never even ventured into chat in all this time because I just don't know what to say, haha. Lame, I know. But even so, I do enjoy reading all the different threads and learning different things, and sometimes it's not educational at all, but very entertaining nonetheless! And I do definitely enjoy getting to know different members better and should make a better effort to be more involved than I am. :)
     
  8. I live on the other side of Houston, so they're probably only about an hour from me.
     
  9. Southpaw

    Southpaw orange iguanas.

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    I'm on board with a lot of this.


    I don't come on forums with the purpose of making friends, but if that happens in the process that's cool. I do treat everyone as a friend though, or try to at least - heck, I made an 8 hour round trip on my only day off, down to boring old Iowa, to deliver a couple of baby rats to a person off a hamster forum who I had never met previously, and had really never had any conversation with on the forum. Sounds crazy and ridiculous. And dangerous lol. But eh why not? We were helping each other out.

    But yeah I came here to talk about and learn about dogs... nope I'm not one of the "cool kids", never been in the chatroom, don't get any of the inside jokes that are posted and don't really know anything about any of you other than what you post. Which sits just fine with me.

    That being said, I have still never felt like an "intruder" in anything, even when I'm ignored.
     
  10. ~Dixie's_Mom~

    ~Dixie's_Mom~ ♥Chloe & Violet♥

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    Awesome! I don't know that I'd bring either dog with me (probably Chloe if anyone-which sucks because Violet adores other huskies) down there, but either way I'd love to meet you! It's been several years since we've been down there so I'm sure we're due sometime here, lol!
     
  11. Sure thing! Just let me know!
     
  12. k9krazee

    k9krazee Active Member

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    My favorite part about the first forum I ever joined was that twice a year we had meet ups in a dog park in Ohio. And people from all over the US drive or flew out for it. I met a lot of great friends that I still keep in touch with even though the forum is a lot less active.

    I would LOVE to meet some friends from Chaz. There are so many that I think I'd really get along with IRL. I just haven't made the effort yet haha
     
  13. Danefied

    Danefied New Member

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    Add me to the list of those who don’t join forums to make friends. I don’t mean that in a snarky, elitist way, just that’s not why I join. I join forums to learn, to talk dogs and theory and training.

    I HAVE made friends through forums - good ones, some I’ve gone on to meet IRL, but that was a nice bonus of joining, not the purpose of joining.
     
  14. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    Okay, I take back what I said about trying to respond more to other posts that people make when I'm posting in a particular thread. It's too much work to get to more than one or two and nobody else much does it, so I'll just continue, like the majority, to look through the window or talk to the brick wall. :popcorn: And I've already cut way back on offering any training help or links like I use to. I guess I'm no help at all. It's obnoxious though, when the person asking never even comes back to the thread after all the thought, typing and looking up links for them. Enough already. :rolleyes: So, probably more lurking.
     
  15. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    Let me clarify, I don't come on here to NOT make friends. I just don't feel the need to try and find a common ground. If there IS one, then lovely :)

    I tend to come on here more in recent months because I have added another dog, and I have moved to the wilds so I'm not out with other people as much (aside from my other half, but he's barely human :p), and I have much more time.

    So......... yeah. What will be will be.
     
  16. speedydogs

    speedydogs Allons-y!

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    Well, I'm such a hardcore lurker that I've been lurking on this thread, if that tells you anything.

    Everything's been said already, I think - I often agree very closely with people that have already posted on a thread, so I don't feel like driving a point into the ground by repeating it again. A lot of the time I simply prefer observing to participating. I enjoy reading dramatic debate threads, but I very rarely take part in them because I just don't like debating. There is the whole "in crowd" thing too, to an extent - in general this forum is very open and friendly compared to many, but I know I'm not part of that close group of people and don't try to be.

    I also really don't have any new dog pictures, stories etc. to talk about because I'm away at college, and see my dogs very infrequently.
     
  17. Linds

    Linds Twin 2

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    Something you guys gotta remember, the ones saying someone already said what your stance is, is that it feels nice to have people agree with you. I know I personally don't need someone to say "That's my take on it as well" or "very well thought out post" "or that was very helpful" or whatever but it always feels nice to know you are not alone in your thoughts or that someone appreciated what you posted even if they have nothing new to add.
     
  18. release the hounds

    release the hounds Active Member

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    I agree with this :D
     
  19. Linds

    Linds Twin 2

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    And now I feel completely validated. Thank you. :p
     
  20. speedydogs

    speedydogs Allons-y!

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    This is very true! I know I like being agreed with :) If I'm reading through a thread and see someone making very good points, but is maybe getting looked over, I will usually add something. In a lot of cases though, there are several pages of almost unanimous agreement that I don't always see the need to add to.
     

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