umm i cant decide ~warning emotional/umm stuff~

[nikkiluvsu15]

One of my friends lives near the Duggars and she says that they really are as genuine in the "real world" as they are on TV.

Anyways, I don't find that odd. They are remembering their child and I don't see anything wrong with it.

Though this was a little bit different circumstances, it is still kind of along the same lines. One of my favorite bands is Selah... the lead singer and his wife had their 4th baby girl, but she was born with some kind of disease and she only lived 1-2 hours long. They wrote this song about her, but also had professional photographs taken of her... to remember her by. They also made a video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2CnUtVY35o

I guess I see the above as the same thing... they are remembering their daughter.

 

[AliciaD]

It doesn't bother me.

When a friend of a friend gave birth to a baby who had already passed on, she was encouraged by the hospital to name her, talk to her, dress her up, and hold her. After she was done the baby was buried, but she said that they said it helps with the grieving process for mothers.

There are a few videos of that on youtube. My friend finds them sick too, but they make me cry.

 

[Renee750il]

The ones I'm expecting to see as the subjects of Lifetime movies one day are the JohnandKate brood

 

[AliciaD]

Off Topic: But really??? Who needs that many kids? Have 2 bio kids, and then foster/adopt the rest. There are kids that need homes!

I have absolutely no desire to have bio kids, so I cannot understand having 8 or more of them. Ugh!

 

[nikkiluvsu15]

The only way I'm having that many kids.... will be in my classroom However, they will most likely be the same age. LOL

My sister wants a ton of kids, so I'll have plenty of nieces/nephews to spoil though.

I'm not sure how many kids I want. I guess I'll really think about that when the times comes... you know, after I've been married for a couple years.

 

[JacksonsMom]

It doesn't bother me. I mean, I think it's kind of insane that she tried to have another baby when the doctors clearly told her she might die if she did. I guess it's a bit odd, but exactly is "normal" anyways? They seem like a functioning family and they are not taking any of our tax dollars and what not. Don't they pay for everything in cash and all that? I am more disgusted by the women who have child after child, living off welfare, in the city, and not providing anything for themselves or children, but relying on the govt. to do everything for them. THOSE are the people that we need to be worrying about, IMO. Not the Duggars.

Btw, my 5 year old brother died and we requested someone take photos of him in the casket. We've never looked at them. Believe me, that horrid imagine is forever engraved in my mind and I still struggle daily with his loss. But for some reason, we wanted them taken. And we have them if we ever WANT to look. Maybe it would seem really really odd to some people and very depressing, but it's a sad reality of our lives, and a part of us.

 

[Renee750il]

I can understand why someone would want pictures and how they could be comforting, but plastering them up publicly seems a little, oh, pandering.

But that's just how it strikes me and isn't a measure of whether it's right or wrong or anything in between, just how I feel.

 

[katielou]

Working In a funeral home this is pretty common.

A lot of families will have me take pictures and then never retrieve them or retrieve them months later.
Some will display them at the funeral or at their homes after.

I am open to just about anything when it comes to death and grieving.

 

[SarahHound]

I can understand them taking photos, but not sharing them with the media. That just doesn't quite sit right with me. But each to their own.

 

[Miakoda]

Nikki, have you read the book? It's called I Will Carry You by Angie Smith. I can't tell you how many tears I shed while reading it. Even though I never lost a child as they did (I did have a miscarriage....for those that don't know because I kept it private, Cole was a twin....I lost his brother early towards the end of the first trimester), this book was so relevant to many other areas if my life. If you have a nook, I can lend it to you if you're interested.

Alicia, things aren't so black and white. Personally, I find it shameful to tell someone they need to adopt versus having biological children. And while there are people that would love to adopt (such as myself), the fact that it will cost between $30,000 and $40,000 prohibits soooo many people from being able to do so. I could've had three separate in vitro attempts (9 eggs total) for that amount. So it's fair to say that for many families to have children, biological is the only way they can.

I never thought I'd ever defend the Duggars, but I am. I'm not paying for their children. Their children are polite and spend much of their time involved in community service programs. But I think so many people have already said it better than me, so I'll leave it at that.

 

[AliciaD]

Alicia, things aren't so black and white. Personally, I find it shameful to tell someone they need to adopt versus having biological children. And while their are people that would love to adopt (such as myself), the fact that it will cost between $30,000 and $40,000 prohibits soooo many people from being able to do so. I could've had three separate in vitro attempts (9 eggs total) for that amount. So it's fair to say that for many families to have children, biological is the only way they can.

I can understand that, but I can't relate to it, if that makes any sense. I've known since I was 11 that I didn't want bio kids and that I wanted to foster/adopt (and if you go that route, fostering and then adopting the kids if their parents lose custody, it should be cheaper than adopting outright).

I don't know. I have always viewed pregnancy as kind of a gross thing, so that might be why I have such an aversion to having lots of bio kids. Like, you were already pregnant once, twice, three times, and you STILL want to get preggers again? Why?! I don't understand that part, the 5+ part, haha.

Never mind me you pregnant Chazzers,

 

[Fran101]

Do I think it's weird? Yup.
Do I think their lifestyle is weird? Yup.
Do I think their haircuts/clothing are HORRID? Yup.

but the way I see it, those kids are happy & healthy with loving parents.
To say that these kids are abused/exploited it totally an insult to actually abused/exploited children..in all honesty.

They are not mooching off the government and are living their lives/raising their kids the way they see fit
In all the episodes I have watched they are proud of the way THEY LIVE but they are in NO WAY discriminating to the way other people live, and having seen them at a book signing, they seem honestly friendly and open.

and MOST importantly, I will never judge ANYONE by the way they deal with loss of a child/family member. It's such a deeply personal thing.

 

[sparks19]

Do I think it's weird? Yup.
Do I think their lifestyle is weird? Yup.
Do I think their haircuts/clothing are HORRID? Yup.

but the way I see it, those kids are happy & healthy with loving parents.
To say that these kids are abused/exploited it totally an insult to actually abused/exploited children..in all honesty.

They are not mooching off the government and are living their lives/raising their kids the way they see fit
In all the episodes I have watched they are proud of the way THEY LIVE but they are in NO WAY discriminating to the way other people live, and having seen them at a book signing, they seem honestly friendly and open.

and MOST importantly, I will never judge ANYONE by the way they deal with loss of a child/family member. It's such a deeply personal thing.

:hail::hail::hail: especially to the bolded part

 

[MandyPug]

Do I think their haircuts/clothing are HORRID? Yup.

ANY floor length skirts are a sin.

Jinger is the only one that seems to sometimes care about how she looks and styles her hair not bad. I want to see her separate, i so do and i think she's the only one with the balls to do it... I mean they gave her a freakin stripper name!

 

[Dakotah]

Definitely have to agree with Mia, Fran, and Sparks.

 

[Dakotah]

Corduroy floor length skirts are a sin.

Jinger is the only one that seems to sometimes care about how she looks and styles her hair not bad. I want to see her separate, i so do and i think she's the only one with the balls to do it... I mean they gave her a freakin stripper name!

Ok part of this made me lol.

I am not a fan of floor length skirts. I actually don't like ANY type of skirts. As much as I fall down, my luck I'd fall and the world and Jesus would see all I have to offer lol

 

[nikkiluvsu15]

Nikki, have you read the book? It's called I Will Carry You by Angie Smith. I can't tell you how many tears I shed while reading it. Even though I never lost a child as they did (I did have a miscarriage....for those that don't know because I kept it private, Cole was a twin....I lost his brother early towards the end of the first trimester), this book was so relevant to many other areas if my life. If you have a nook, I can lend it to you if you're interested.

Alicia, things aren't so black and white. Personally, I find it shameful to tell someone they need to adopt versus having biological children. And while there are people that would love to adopt (such as myself), the fact that it will cost between $30,000 and $40,000 prohibits soooo many people from being able to do so. I could've had three separate in vitro attempts (9 eggs total) for that amount. So it's fair to say that for many families to have children, biological is the only way they can.

I never thought I'd ever defend the Duggars, but I am. I'm not paying for their children. Their children are polite and spend much of their time involved in community service programs. But I think so many people have already said it better than me, so I'll leave it at that.

I haven't read the actual book, but I have read her blog.

I might have to read it though, unfortunately I don't have a Nook For some reason I'm thinking my sister might have the book though, so I'll have to ask her!

 

[Miakoda]

Just make sure you have 2 new boxes of Kleenex by your side.

 

[Miakoda]

I just read in an article that the company that helped set up the photos for the baby Duggar released those photos without Jim Bob's and Michele's consent. Both claimed the photos were for private use only.

 

[Jules]

Okay... Let's rephrase it. I think it is irresponsible to put not only yours, but your children's life on a public platform like this. They aren't old enough to decide if they want to be on TV, they can't think far enough down the road. Type in any of the name of the Duggars kids... It will pop up on the Internet forever and ever. Friends, dates, college applications... There it all is, for the rest of their lives.