UGH *vent*

[yoko]

I find it much cleaner to kennel them outdoors weather permitting. They have a dogloo with straw on the floor and a few blankets of course. I just toss a box of cheerios in there and they're good for the night. Then I can just hose out the whole kennel in the morning

Hey be careful now! There are people on here who are STRONGLY against keeping them out doors!

I mean why make one if they are just going to be outside all the time.

 

[MisssAshby]

I got my carseat half off for 150 but was prepared to pay the full 300 to get Briggs a rearfacing carseat with a high weight and height limit.

Exactly. Sales are always welcome, but paying full price isn't the end of the world if it's needed.

 

[ihartgonzo]

Ahhh drama llama!

I agree everyone parenting different BUT I sincerely hope you didnt mean the above the way it comes across to me...that the only way to NOT get a spoiled brat is to spank. Ironically, growing up, the brattiest kids I knew were ones who were routinely spanked.

I agree completely. Boundaries and rules are important, but I don't feel pain/intimidation has anything to do with that! I want my child to trust me and feel safe with me no matter WHAT. I was a delightful little kid, always happy and singing/dancing. Basically a real life Shirley Temple. When my parents divorced and my Mom married a man who physically/mentally abused me and my sisters, we all developed personality issues, we all acted out in different ways, it messed up all of us. I know spanking isn't necessarily physical abuse, but he would "spank" me with a belt for various unjustified reasons and it struck absolute fear into me. I don't want to have to decide where the line is between discipline and abuse.

I could not hurt anyone, it's not in me. Especially because of my childhood. I also refuse to hurt my dogs in the name of discipline, so I feel like those beliefs & feelings are fluid with all of my loved ones.

 

[darkchild16]

Ahhh drama llama!



I agree completely. Boundaries and rules are important, but I don't feel pain/intimidation has anything to do with that! I want my child to trust me and feel safe with me no matter WHAT. I was a delightful little kid, always happy and singing/dancing. Basically a real life Shirley Temple. When my parents divorced and my Mom married a man who physically/mentally abused me and my sisters, we all developed personality issues, we all acted out in different ways, it messed up all of us. I know spanking isn't necessarily physical abuse, but he would "spank" me with a belt for various unjustified reasons and it struck absolute fear into me. I don't want to have to decide where the line is between discipline and abuse.

I could not hurt anyone, it's not in me. Especially because of my childhood. I also refuse to hurt my dogs in the name of discipline, so I feel like those beliefs & feelings are fluid with all of my loved ones.

For us its when their safety is compromised. Bev will get a swat on the butt for running away from us in a parking lot.

 

[Paige]

I hate you. I want a radian so bad but 300 for Bev just isnt happening if it was Savannah yes but she has the perfect carseat for her.

Thats when they switched from sunshine kids to donino or whatever the new brand is. Seat is still the same quality. Yeah. Anyways, woop. It was a great deal. I'm d ebating on getting another one. my only complain with the seat is that if you have to install the locking clip it stinnnks.

 

[darkchild16]

Thats when they switched from sunshine kids to donino or whatever the new brand is. Seat is still the same quality. Yeah. Anyways, woop. It was a great deal. I'm d ebating on getting another one. my only complain with the seat is that if you have to install the locking clip it stinnnks.

I ended up with a MyRide for Savannah and I LOVE it. Morgan would fit in it for a LONG time. But he has a Alpha Omega Elite.

 

[sparks19]

Ahhh drama llama!



I agree completely. Boundaries and rules are important, but I don't feel pain/intimidation has anything to do with that! I want my child to trust me and feel safe with me no matter WHAT. I was a delightful little kid, always happy and singing/dancing. Basically a real life Shirley Temple. When my parents divorced and my Mom married a man who physically/mentally abused me and my sisters, we all developed personality issues, we all acted out in different ways, it messed up all of us. I know spanking isn't necessarily physical abuse, but he would "spank" me with a belt for various unjustified reasons and it struck absolute fear into me. I don't want to have to decide where the line is between discipline and abuse.

I could not hurt anyone, it's not in me. Especially because of my childhood. I also refuse to hurt my dogs in the name of discipline, so I feel like those beliefs & feelings are fluid with all of my loved ones.

Why does spanking equal pain? You don't spank to hurt... Or you shouldn't.

I will say hannah is a real life shirley temple so to speak and i have given her a spanking a time or two. I understand a lot of people are against spankig but I do resent the idea that it is using pain and intimdation and the child will be unable to trust the parent or be a well adjust and happy child. If it is over used... Sure I can see that but as a last resort for the most extreme circumstances it really isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be.

I assure you Hannah trusts me 100% and he isn't afraid of me nor does she have personality or emotional issues. She is only 5 of course but I truly believe there is a right way and a wrong way to do everything

But please don't make it sound like I am just a bully trying to make my child tow the line. I know it wasn't aimed at me or anything but I think there is such a misconception about spanking

 

[ihartgonzo]

For us its when their safety is compromised. Bev will get a swat on the butt for running away from us in a parking lot.

I don't think little spanks or ANYONE ON CHAZ is abusive at all!!! I just personally couldn't do it, because of my childhood, and the effects it had on me. It would definitely hurt me more than anything.

 

[darkchild16]

I don't think little spanks or ANYONE ON CHAZ is abusive at all!!! I just personally couldn't do it, because of my childhood, and the effects it had on me. It would definitely hurt me more than anything.

It does me from my past BUT Bev is VERY headstrong and her one quick swat stopped it for good because it was nothing she had been exposed to before.

 

[sparks19]

I don't think little spanks or ANYONE ON CHAZ is abusive at all!!! I just personally couldn't do it, because of my childhood, and the effects it had on me. It would definitely hurt me more than anything.

That is understandable...

But that saying "this will hurt me more than it hurts you" is definitely true and that goes for
More than just spanking. Anytime i lose my patience... I lose sleep that night. It is so hard

 

[sillysally]

Hey be careful now! There are people on here who are STRONGLY against keeping them out doors!

I mean why make one if they are just going to be outside all the time.

Pssh, screw 'em! It's not their business if I want to raise outdoor children. I spend a lot of time outside, and they have each other and the dogs for companionship. And sometimes I put them on a zip line so they can run back and forth. Raising them indoors is just spoiling them!

 

[MisssAshby]

Why does spanking equal pain? You don't spank to hurt... Or you shouldn't.

I will say hannah is a real life shirley temple so to speak and i have given her a spanking a time or two. I understand a lot of people are against spankig but I do resent the idea that it is using pain and intimdation and the child will be unable to trust the parent or be a well adjust and happy child. If it is over used... Sure I can see that but as a last resort for the most extreme circumstances it really isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be.

I assure you Hannah trusts me 100% and he isn't afraid of me nor does she have personality or emotional issues. She is only 5 of course but I truly believe there is a right way and a wrong way to do everything

But please don't make it sound like I am just a bully trying to make my child tow the line. I know it wasn't aimed at me or anything but I think there is such a misconception about spanking

Each parent will have different parenting styles, and you don't always have to agree. However, I believe that if you are a good parent, and start teaching your child at a young age what is right and what is wrong, that discipline is something that should have to be used on a very limited basis. I was raised in a loving home, spoiled beyond belief, but still knew my limits and had a very clear understanding of what my parents expected from me. They never spanked me, they never yelled at me, they would discipline me, but that was very rarely and it was always explained to me why what I did was wrong. But, I also know that a child is going to test the water, see how far they can push, and that is when measures should be taken. IMO when you have a parent who is non stop spanking or yelling at their child it's because the child doesn't know what is expected of them.

...and I'm sure you know this but this isn't directed at you...general thoughts of mine. I think Hannah has been raised to be a very well manner young girl.

 

[sparks19]

Each parent will have different parenting styles, and you don't always have to agree. However, I believe that if you are a good parent, and start teaching your child at a young age what is right and what is wrong, that discipline is something that should have to be used on a very limited basis. I was raised in a loving home, spoiled beyond belief, but still knew my limits and had a very clear understanding of what my parents expected from me. They never spanked me, they never yelled at me, they would discipline me, but that was very rarely and it was always explained to me why what I did was wrong. But, I also know that a child is going to test the water, see how far they can push, and that is when measures should be taken. IMO when you have a parent who is non stop spanking or yelling at their child it's because the child doesn't know what is expected of them.

...and I'm sure you know this but this isn't directed at you...general thoughts of mine. I think Hannah has been raised to be a very well manner young girl.

I totally agree. I have experienced people throughout my life who start out with "oh he is so little. His little tantrums are so cute/his mouthing back is adorable" etc etc because they are just
Toddlers or preschoolers but next thing you know you have a child that is 8,9, or 10 and still doing the same thigs and suddenly it is not so cute anymore and you have missed the key time to teach them.

If you find yourself hollering all the time and doling out spankings daily... You have likely missed the boat on teaching good behavior

I can count on one hand and not use all the fingers the amount of times I have had to reach the last resort of spanking. I feel that is how it should be and not have spanking be your "go to" disciplinary action. Like I said about my nephew earlier in this thread... They eventually will just become immune to the punishment if you are doing it ALL THE TIME.

 

[MisssAshby]

I totally agree. I have experienced people throughout my life who start out with "oh he is so little. His little tantrums are so cute/his mouthing back is adorable" etc etc because they are just
Toddlers or preschoolers but next thing you know you have a child that is 8,9, or 10 and still doing the same thigs and suddenly it is not so cute anymore and you have missed the key time to teach them.

If you find yourself hollering all the time and doling out spankings daily... You have likely missed the boat on teaching good behavior

I can count on one hand and not use all the fingers the amount of times I have had to reach the last resort of spanking. I feel that is how it should be and not have spanking be your "go to" disciplinary action. Like I said about my nephew earlier in this thread... They eventually will just become immune to the punishment if you are doing it ALL THE TIME.

Yep! My sister was like this with my nephew, and while he had medical problems that made it worse it could have been better if she had started earlier. I just have to say, growing up sometimes I used to think I had the worst parents and childhood, like we all do when growing up. Now, that I'm older and wiser, I wish every child could grow up having a childhood like mine. Sure there were times my childhood was tough, but I never, ever doubted the love my parents had for me. When you know you are loved, it makes it much easier to understand the the discipline side of things.

 

[sillysally]

DH's mom was a big time spanker. DH and his brothers learned early on that if they laughed at her when she spanked them it would make her super mad and they got a kick out of it. She broke wooden spoons in them and he said that it would hurt like hell but they would still laugh.

My mom was a "choose your consequence" mom. When I did something wrong she would let me decide if I wanted to have a time out, do a job, have something taken away, etc. Once I told her that I chose to be spanked and she was horrified and refused-lol.

 

[sparks19]

DH's mom was a big time spanker. DH and his brothers learned early on that if they laughed at her when she spanked them it would make her super mad and they got a kick out of it. She broke wooden spoons in them and he said that it would hurt like hell but they would still laugh.

My mom was a "choose your consequence" mom. When I did something wrong she would let me decide if I wanted to have a time out, do a job, have something taken away, etc. Once I told her that I chose to be spanked and she was horrified and refused-lol.

LOL

My parents weren't big spankers (that sounds so funny to say lol). I can only recall a couple of times... And I sure deserved it lol

I give hannah choices. She doesn't get to choose her discipline
Lol but if she starts acting out I will tell her that she can keep behaving that way and we will abandon whatever fun thig we are doing or she can behave properly and we can
Continue having fun... You choose. I know that doesn't sound like much of a choice but it works lol.

 

[Danefied]

Personally, I think the best way to raise kids is butt naked on the back forty (the kids, not me) with a pack of outside dogs.

Minus the CM bit, and that the dogs come inside, that’s pretty much how ours have been raised

Gonna throw my mommy two cents in...
"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.†-Albert Einstein
And
“Morality is doing what’s right regardless of what you’re told, obedience is doing what you’re told regardless of what is right.†(Don’t know who to credit, but its not mine.)

This is what I live by in raising my kids. I hope to hell they don’t grow up to be obedient! I want them to question! Makes my life harder as a parent, but in the long run, it will make for much more mindful adults.
My hope for them is that their sense of right and wrong come from a well-developed internal compass. This will never develop if they’re always influenced by outside forces.

Oh, one last one I snagged off “parenting beyond punishmentâ€. “Don’t let yourself become so concerned with raising a good kid that you forge you already have one.â€

 

[Grab]

As others have said, some kids are just more active and some parents can handle less. Clive has gone to restaurants since he was about 6 days old. He can still get overly cranky if he wants to run around or wants to touch something he cannot. And I'm very attentive...I always bring activities and toys for him and I don't ignore him to browse me phone. We do not go to a lot of sit down places because he can just be too noisy sometimes and that's not fair to other patrons. If we do go to one, we always agree ahead of time on who will take him out to the car while the other pays and gets food to go. I even left early at my birthday dinner, lol. If I have opportunity to shop without him, I will. But that's not always possible. He's usually pretty good in the store, though. We always keep his back carrier on hand, which has helped a TON. If I know he is cranky, we hold off on shopping if possible.

As far as spanking, I don't buy that it's not based on fear or to cause pain. Even if you're not whaling on them (which I'd hope no one is), if they don't fear being hit, why would the punishment work? There has to be some level of discomfort that places that above, say, a time out. I cannot picture any scenario where I'd hit my child, lightly or not. I don't hit my dogs, so why would I hit my son? I was not hit at all as a child, and I seemed to turn out ok
My theory of hitting is along the lines of the Louis C.K bit I saw. I cannot find the video clip (my husband has it, but he's not home at the moment) but the quote is

“I really think it’s crazy that we hit our kids. Here’s the crazy part about it; kids are the only people in the world that you’re allowed to hit. Do you realize that? They’re the most vulnerable and the most desroyed by being hit but it’s totally OK to hit them. And they’re the only ones! if you hit a dog they will put you in jail for that ****. You can’t hit a person unless you can prove that they were trying to kill you. But a little tiny person with a head this big who trusts you implicitly:

‘F*** ‘EM, WHO GIVES A SHI*! LET’S ALL HIT THEM!’

 

[Paige]

Clive sounds very similar to Briggs. He is a really active kid and sit down dinners aren't really for us right now. I took him to a friend's fish and chip place the other day because I know the guy loves kids and his clients aren't going to be bothered by my kid because they all ahve little hooligans too. But thats the only place I will take him right now. I just can't relax and have dinner and it sort of defeats the purpose. Thats my limitation. I'm sure other parents could manage. I can't.

 

[sparks19]

As others have said, some kids are just more active and some parents can handle less. Clive has gone to restaurants since he was about 6 days old. He can still get overly cranky if he wants to run around or wants to touch something he cannot. And I'm very attentive...I always bring activities and toys for him and I don't ignore him to browse me phone. We do not go to a lot of sit down places because he can just be too noisy sometimes and that's not fair to other patrons. If we do go to one, we always agree ahead of time on who will take him out to the car while the other pays and gets food to go. I even left early at my birthday dinner, lol. If I have opportunity to shop without him, I will. But that's not always possible. He's usually pretty good in the store, though. We always keep his back carrier on hand, which has helped a TON. If I know he is cranky, we hold off on shopping if possible.

As far as spanking, I don't buy that it's not based on fear or to cause pain. Even if you're not whaling on them (which I'd hope no one is), if they don't fear being hit, why would the punishment work? There has to be some level of discomfort that places that above, say, a time out. I cannot picture any scenario where I'd hit my child, lightly or not. I don't hit my dogs, so why would I hit my son? I was not hit at all as a child, and I seemed to turn out ok
My theory of hitting is along the lines of the Louis C.K bit I saw. I cannot find the video clip (my husband has it, but he's not home at the moment) but the quote is

“I really think it’s crazy that we hit our kids. Here’s the crazy part about it; kids are the only people in the world that you’re allowed to hit. Do you realize that? They’re the most vulnerable and the most desroyed by being hit but it’s totally OK to hit them. And they’re the only ones! if you hit a dog they will put you in jail for that ****. You can’t hit a person unless you can prove that they were trying to kill you. But a little tiny person with a head this big who trusts you implicitly:

‘F*** ‘EM, WHO GIVES A SHI*! LET’S ALL HIT THEM!’

Well then can't that be said of all punishment then? They fear the punishment so they don't do it? Maybe taking away their favorite thjng causes them emotional distress. Of cpurse they "fear" the punishment whether it be time out (being separated from human contact and their favorite comfort things), grounding (again the same as above) or a spank.

I have smacked Hannah on the butt harder during play than what a spankig would be.

So really you could say any discipline is intimidation and fear.

Ypu don't have to "buy it" but that doesn't make it more or less true.

Amd that quote is a load of bull. Ypu can smack a dog on the butt and that is not abuse. You could smack an adult on the butt and other than maybe sexual harrassment it isn't assault. We aren't BEATING children as that quote implies. A simple, pants on, smack on the butt. It doesn't have to hurt to make someone pay attention and again why would time out stop a child if it didn't cause them some
Emotional "pain"

Seems screaming is A ok in the eyes of society and te law but for hannah tjat frightens her. That causes fear and emotional pain. A spank meatly makes her sit up and pay attention when behavior has gone way too far