UGH *vent*
- Thread starter darkchild16
- Start date
actually no one that would be telling YOU or any of chaz knows the full story 
So unless you know our counselor you dont know the whole situation.
So unless you know our counselor you dont know the whole situation.
I don't care about the whole situation. I just think that if you DO hit a loved one and then threaten (even jokingly) your kids that you're going to hit them, they may take it seriously
Wow this is all getting a bit hateful.
Back on topic.. The key ingredient is love. Spanking is fine, silly threats are fine, so on and so forth as long as the child knows and genuinely feels love they will understand the difference between being disciplined and being abused. I try my darndest to not dole out discipline in anger... I fail sometimes but I try. BUT after the fact I make sure that we always sit down and talk about it. What she did to result in discipline and make sure she understands without rubbing it in her face that she did wrong. We always end it with a hug and an "i love you".
For Hannah spanking is acceptable. Losing my cool and screaming at her is not. Losing my cool and screaming scares her. A spanking with prior warning does not. If I lose my cool and genuinely scare I make sure that when all is calm again I apologize to her for losing control. If i am going to hold her to behavioural standards I have to hold myself to those standards too
Back on topic.. The key ingredient is love. Spanking is fine, silly threats are fine, so on and so forth as long as the child knows and genuinely feels love they will understand the difference between being disciplined and being abused. I try my darndest to not dole out discipline in anger... I fail sometimes but I try. BUT after the fact I make sure that we always sit down and talk about it. What she did to result in discipline and make sure she understands without rubbing it in her face that she did wrong. We always end it with a hug and an "i love you".
For Hannah spanking is acceptable. Losing my cool and screaming at her is not. Losing my cool and screaming scares her. A spanking with prior warning does not. If I lose my cool and genuinely scare I make sure that when all is calm again I apologize to her for losing control. If i am going to hold her to behavioural standards I have to hold myself to those standards too
Woah... I think this has all taken a very personal turn. I don't think Jessie was particularly talking about how your kids will react to it, Breeze, and she was just saying what could happen in her eyes. Some kids will take abuse differently. Some kids are spanked or worse growing up, and grow up either terrified and making choices based on that, or they grow up thinking violence is the answer. Others can be spanked or worse and grow up without any ill effects and do anything else before resorting to violence. Same can happen for kids who were not spanked growing up. Different life experiences will cause different effects on different people. I mean, I know when I met Bev and Morgan they were happy and seemed confident. And when I met Jessie both times she wasn't some maniac. LOL
I dkn't know. I mean, i saw people post the idea of what Jessie was saying before she said it, but just because one person decided to start picking on Jessie, everybody else who said the same ideas she did didn't matter, it only mattered that SHE said it.
Personally, I couldn't imagine ever threatening my kid let alone spanking it, or any kid I know really, but I know some people do. As long as they aren't doing it out of hate or to a pount where it has ill effects, I fiure it's just none of my business.
I dkn't know. I mean, i saw people post the idea of what Jessie was saying before she said it, but just because one person decided to start picking on Jessie, everybody else who said the same ideas she did didn't matter, it only mattered that SHE said it.
Personally, I couldn't imagine ever threatening my kid let alone spanking it, or any kid I know really, but I know some people do. As long as they aren't doing it out of hate or to a pount where it has ill effects, I fiure it's just none of my business.
Of course I didn't mean it like it has to be one way or the other. Parenting is not black and white. And it is stupid to expect kids to be "perfect" no matter what method of discipline you use. Spanking kids doesn't make them perfect, they will make mistakes again, just like we all do. But I believe they need discipline in a form that WORKS. If what you are currently doing whether it is time out, taking toys away, grounding, spanking, etc....if it's not working I believe you need to try something else. Find the discipline that works for YOUR child. But discipline is extremely important, along with consistency and follow through.
A lot of people who don't spank have spoiled brats, and a lot of parents that do have spoiled brats. I was just giving an example of something that I feel is wrong in parenting, and I think having a child that gets everything they want is more damaging than a spanking every now and then.
A lot of people who don't spank have spoiled brats, and a lot of parents that do have spoiled brats. I was just giving an example of something that I feel is wrong in parenting, and I think having a child that gets everything they want is more damaging than a spanking every now and then.
I just want to make it very clear that there is not anything as tacky as wearing Crocs in public *shudders*
I personally would never say any of these things to a child. I can get joking with a teen or something like that but I'd be afraid that the kid would go to school and repeat it. I mean it's the same reason I don't talk about sex in front of kids, or cuss, or talk about one of their parents I don't like.
And honestly if you 'joke' about violence to the point that your child is saying those things to other kids you have NO reason to complain if someone calls CPS on you. I think most CPS visits are just a pain in the ass but joking like that to a child who may not understand that saying that to another kid is not a funny joke is just kind of setting yourself up for a visit.
I personally would never say any of these things to a child. I can get joking with a teen or something like that but I'd be afraid that the kid would go to school and repeat it. I mean it's the same reason I don't talk about sex in front of kids, or cuss, or talk about one of their parents I don't like.
And honestly if you 'joke' about violence to the point that your child is saying those things to other kids you have NO reason to complain if someone calls CPS on you. I think most CPS visits are just a pain in the ass but joking like that to a child who may not understand that saying that to another kid is not a funny joke is just kind of setting yourself up for a visit.
The problem is when people don't agree on Chaz it's a "Holier Than Thou" attitude, yet those with the "Holier Than Thou" attitude are the people who help those who need help the most.
If we all agreed the world would be a boring place, and there wouldn't be new inventions, or people pushing the limit to make things better. However, on Chaz, that is okay I guess.
If we all agreed the world would be a boring place, and there wouldn't be new inventions, or people pushing the limit to make things better. However, on Chaz, that is okay I guess.