To the best dog who has ever been mine.

Discussion in 'Rainbow Bridge - Dog Memorials' started by AgilityPup, Sep 17, 2010.

  1. AgilityPup

    AgilityPup Agility freak!

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    February 11th, 2007 - September 17th, 2010

    Today I made the very tough decision to say good-bye to my heart dog until we meet again, and to end a journey she and I had started together. Today ranks in one of the saddest, and hardest days of my life.

    I didn't even know how to begin saying good-bye to a dog that has become my life, my love, my best friend, my everything, but I had to. On Tuesday night Bella attacked Zoey, leaving Zoey torn and lame. That was strike three for Bella, and we realized what we thought we had solved by rehoming Gyp hadn't and it was still a problem, and one we didn't know how to fix. After talking to vets we decided it was a mental thing with Bella, and always has been.

    I spent the last two days crying, cuddling, and sleeping. I was sick thinking I'd be saying good-bye. This morning I woke up, cuddled her, took her for her last van ride, and then let her go out in the field with Morrie and Psyche to have one last romp. As we were cooling off in her little kiddie pool the vet drove down the drive way (we had him come and do it here on the farm to be easier for her and I) and I prepared to say good-bye. I wasn't ready for him to be there yet, but looking at it now, I don't think I would have ever been ready for it.

    As he got out of the car Bella gave me one last reason to brag about what a great dog she was. She greeted him with such grace and happiness that you'd never guess she had issues with people when I first brought her home.

    She passed easily enough, with her face buried in my neck, while I cried repeating "you're a good girl, Bella. A good girl."; I just didn't want her to go without her knowing that. I watched as her beautiful soul left the vessel she had loved me in, and I cried. For lost chances, for failure, for Bella and I losing the chance to grow our love even stronger.

    My sister snapped this shot today while we were playing, and for that I'm grateful.
    [​IMG]

    I'm holding on, and I'll stay strong, because I know that's what Bella would want, but I don't feel right. My body is missing something, and I know that a part of my being left Bella's body with her soul today.

    So cry a tear for us, as we part our ways until we meet again.

    We'll meet again, Bella, and when we do, I'll love you just as much or more. Time will never erase the memories you've given me, or the lessons you've taught me. Rest easy, Baby Girl, I miss you like crazy.
     
  2. Toller_08

    Toller_08 Active Member

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    :( I am so, so sorry to hear about Bella. I've been in a very similar situation, and it is definitely not an easy decision to make. Lots of (((hugs))).
     
  3. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

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    I cried for you :( I am so sorry, Bella was such a beautiful girl, both in looks and personality. (((hugs))) for you, remember, it is ok to cry, even weeks after
     
  4. MafiaPrincess

    MafiaPrincess Obvious trollsare Obvious

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    I am so so sorry. That is a beautiful picture of you two. *hugs*
     
  5. AgilityPup

    AgilityPup Agility freak!

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    I'm doing my fair share of crying. It just feels so... wrong, being without her. I've missed just about a week of school for this already, and I don't imagine I'll be going Monday. I just feel so useless without her.
     
  6. Brattina88

    Brattina88 Active Member

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    :( I cried for you two! A beautiful picture to remember the good times!

    (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))0
     
  7. Baxter'smybaby

    Baxter'smybaby swimming upstream

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    sometimes life hands us some real difficult decisions to make--you gave Bella a second chance, you loved her, and that is what matters. Hang onto that. ((HUGS))
     
  8. stardogs

    stardogs Behavior Nerd

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    I know just what you mean about something missing - it's been almost a month (!) since I lost Maggie and I still have those moments frequently. (((hugs)))
     
  9. Beanie

    Beanie Clicker Cult Coordinator

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    Oh, hon, I am SO sorry. ((((((HUGS)))))) You didn't fail Bella... you gave her the ultimate gift. She was able to go in your arms peacefully.
     
  10. Dekka

    Dekka Just try me..

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    I'm so sorry that is a decision you had to make. I am sure she knows she was loved.
     
  11. *blackrose

    *blackrose "I'm kupo for kupo nuts!"

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    I am so, so sorry. :( (((hugs))) I just hope that if it ever comes to that with Chloe I'll have the same strength and love you've shown to do what is best for her.
     
  12. skittledoo

    skittledoo Crazy naked dog lady

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    I'm going to second this. I'm so sorry that you're going through a rough time. I know it's not easy by any means to lose your best friends, but what you definitely did was give her a gift and that right there just proves to me your absolute love for her. Bamm and I send you our love and lots of hugs. If you were closer I'd lend you Bamm. He's a great shoulder to cry on. May Bella run free peacefully. You'll see her again and she'll greet you with a wagging tail and that a warm smile.
     
  13. Zoom

    Zoom Twin 2.0

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    I third what Beanie wrote. I'm so sorry you had to make that decision. :( :(
     
  14. AgilityPup

    AgilityPup Agility freak!

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    We fed for the first time without her tonight, and of course I cried. Oh my god I miss this dog. I didn't know longing until now. I'm lying in bed now, trying to sleep, but sharing the bed with Psyche isn't the same.
     
  15. ~Tucker&Me~

    ~Tucker&Me~ and Spy.

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    I am so, so sorry =/ ((HUGS))

    I agree with everyone else, you gave her a gift and she knows you love her.
     
  16. mrose_s

    mrose_s BusterLove

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    I'm sorry.
    RIP Bella.
    I know what a hard situation that is to be in, you gave her an incredible life.
     
  17. Laurelin

    Laurelin I'm All Ears

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    I'm so so sorry. :( I literally have tears streaming down my face right now. All I can do is (((((Hugs))))))
     
  18. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    Last edited: Sep 18, 2010
  19. AgilityPup

    AgilityPup Agility freak!

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    This all just doesn't seem fair. I miss her, and I want her back. I wish that it had never come to this. The house isn't the same without her.

    Last night was brutal. My first night without her, and Psyche just isn't the same for cuddling - too small. Mom's keeping Zoey in her room right now (because she needs some care I'm not mentally able to do right now, and because the past few days Bella had been limited to mostly my room, so Zoey couldn't have been doing her bed rest in there). I felt horrible giving more time to Bella then Zoey, but I knew Zoey'd still be there after Friday.

    To make matters worse, on another forum, some kids (like, 13, and a little older) were giving me a really hard time about putting her down, making snide comments, and just yeah.. making me feel like **** when I already do.
     
  20. MisssAshby

    MisssAshby Richy Rich HM Twit!

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    I'm so sorry. (((((((((hugs))))))))))
     

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