This is what a stay-at-home mom does all day

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by LauraLeigh, Apr 4, 2012.

  1. LauraLeigh

    LauraLeigh New Member

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  2. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    LOL I know... I read that and I just LAUGHED.

    I only have one child so I don't have it nearly as difficult as some stay at home moms do but it's not a cakewalk LOL. but it is the greatest pleasure at the same time

    tonight we were playing on the porch with Hannahs sand table and she asked me "Mom where is my mickey mouse thing with the cheese" Brian looked totally lost and I was like "Don't worry... i actually know exactly what she's talking about" LOL it's a little bubble wand in the shape of a mouse with a piece of cheese

    I always dread when someone wants me to call them or they call me (other than my parents or my MIL lol). Talking on the phone is not an easy task. The dogs are barking, Hannah needs to go potty and needs help, then I don't care how great a parent you are... 4 year olds do NOT get the concept of the phone and not interrupting when you are on it lol, and then I'm trying to switch over the laundry and get dinner ready while holding the phone with my shoulder because both hands are busy. Other moms always just seem to know that texting is the way to go until we can see each other face to face lol.

    another example... saturday afternoon we were home relaxing and Hannah was watching a movie on Brians laptop and I was taking a few moments of me time and playing epic mickey. When Hannah came out and discovered what I was doing... the next ten minutes went like this

    "Hey what are you playing? can I try? why not? who is that guy? what is he doing? what are you doing? what are you looking for? why are you looking for that? what does that do? is that a ghost? is he scary or friendly? did you find what you were looking for yet?" and so on and so forth until I gave up LOL

    I read something that said "did you know that the average preschooler asks 437 questions a day" YES I did know that LOL
     
  3. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    Anybody who thinks that stay at home moms do nothing all day have obviously never even babysat children.
    I'd say around age 9-10, yea, things do get easier for parents. You notice more stay at home moms looking well rested, finding part time work or enjoying more free time but before that? Oy. There isn't enough money in the world for me to do that job (nor do I have the skills necessary lol)

    It's not like you can stick babies/toddlers in a crate with a kong lol they are INTO EVERYTHING, they tend to not like to sleep at regular times.. have particular eating habits..and are just loud and crazy! lol
    Not to MENTION mothers that also do house work (Cleaning, laundry, cooking) as well as raising babies.

    You know the saying "It take a village to raise a child". I am a proud product of that philosophy and my parents are VERY LUCKY to have the support system of aunts, uncles, cousins etc.. where child care and everything is done together. (not to mention being from a country where having a nanny/house keeper is as normal as having baby bottles when it comes to kids lol)

    I think stay at home parents are awesome and have very hard jobs. Raising a kid (not to mention other house stuff) is HARD WORK.

    (also must add, I don't think moms that love their careers or for some other reason choose to not stay at home don't love their kids/have the right priorities/raise their children etc.. any worse than parents who do stay at home. IMO No choice is worse/better than the other. It's all about what is right for the family and situation.but no matter how you do it.. raising a child is a job in itself. and a hard and important one at that)
     
  4. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    yeah add in the housework and that stuff ... it's a juggling act lol

    We are usually out of the house at least 4 hours a day. Between social obligations, homeschool co op, grocery shopping, "play" times (playgrounds, childrens museum etc... time to burn off their energy lol), all other errands so on and so forth.

    I have it pretty easy. Hannah was never the kind of child that got into things. I never even had child proofing things because she just didn't have any interest in getting into stuff she wasn't supposed to lol so I was very lucky that way.

    But yeah.. it's a full day. but extremely fulfilling and then you get moments like today... I was SO tired this afternoon and I begged Hannah to give me a few moments to lay on the couch with my eyes closed for a bit. so she came over and gave me a kiss on my forehead and told me she loved me and then she went and sat down and watched mary poppins quietly lol
     
  5. Sweet72947

    Sweet72947 Squishy face

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    Personally, I'd prefer going to work every day to taking care of a kid. Going to work is easier! :p

    I have a friend with a 9 month old little girl, who's name also happens to be Hannah, coincidentally. She works, and sometimes her mom watches her baby, and sometimes her brother watches the baby, and sometimes her husband watches the baby. Her husband, of course, is used to the baby, but her mom and her brother always say how TIRED they are when my friend gets home! And the kid can't even walk yet, but boy she can crawl! :)

    I like kids, and I'm pretty good with them, but I can only handle them for short periods of time. Just watching them play and run around exhausts me, lol. I could never be a parent, I value my independence, "me" time and quiet time way too much.
     
  6. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    I praise God every night that hannah is so good about goin to bed in time and going right to sleep lol. 8pm and after is my time :)

    Tonight brian is at Men's fellowship for our church and hannah goes to bed soon and I am making myself an adult beverage and firing ip epic mickey lol
     
  7. LauraLeigh

    LauraLeigh New Member

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    For sure!!! I hated that superior attitude in some SAHM's I knew as much as the insulation by others that SAHM don't work hard...

    As long as you are putting your kids top priority that's what matters... Though I do think sometimes people (Jenn's childhood friend had parents who both trucked long haul, they were only home every other weekend, he was raised by a string of different "Helpers") should consider if their career will be compatible with raising a child...
     
  8. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    Loved that! What a funny, but believable article. So true.

    Try adding that to mowing the lawn, painting the house inside and out, cleaning gutters and clearing blackberry bushes, cultivating and planting a vegetable garden, keeping it up, cleaning, cooking, transporting the older child around to classes, the toddler to pre-school for a couple hours a day, etc, which of course entails sticking other kids in car seats for the ride, including 2 to 3 day care children, usually 1 infant that I had for about 4 years in addition to my 2. My ex, (then husband) worked at a job and had a home shop too. He worked hard, granted. But he did nothing in the way of home maintenance to speak of. I did all the yard work etc. Then he told me I wasn't doing my part, that I should be working. No paycheck to him equaled not doing my part. How do you like them apples?
     
  9. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    That is one thing I am truly grateful for. I am grateful for many things but this in particular. Brian is super supportive of what I do all day. I couldn't do his job and he fully recognizes that he isn't cut out to do mine either lol. He is a great father, don't get me wrong about that but he isn't cut out for domestic goddess status lol
     
  10. Shai

    Shai & the Muttly Crew

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    A good parent is engaged and involved in their kids' lives regardless whether they work outside the home or not, or whether they are the mom or dad...

    Granted my mom worked plus raised the kids while my dad traveled a lot, and even managed to produce three productive members of society who are well-adjusted and, so far as I know, never felt anything but supported in all our interests as kids.

    But then the older I get, the more I realize my mom is and was pretty much a superhero ;)
     
  11. PWCorgi

    PWCorgi Priscilla Winifred Corgi

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    :rofl1:

    :rofl1:
     
  12. RD

    RD Are you dead yet?

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    I think work would be easier than being a SAHM! lol
     
  13. Miakoda

    Miakoda New Member

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    Maybe I'll journal my day tomorrow and type it up. That woman's was impressive, but add a third child, 2 dogs, and 2 horses to the mix and have some of that!

    And if you really want to get in depth, start adding in various doctor's appointments and therapy visits for your special needs child.

    People always ask me how I manage to get my kids to go to bed at 7 pm. The answer? Because I put them there. I don't care. They are going to bed at 7 pm. Period. End of story. The only alternative is for me to go surrender myself to the local fire department (you can drop off babies...maybe they take parents too?).

    I went back to work part-time (about 4-6 hours a day) when Cole was a year old. My mom drove out to my place to keep him for me. I'm being totally honest when I say that it was easier for me to be a "good mom" and "good wife" when I worked than when I was home all day with him. At least at work you do get to get away. You get to have conversations with people that have more than a 200 word vocabulary. You get to be an adult. You get to have your friends.

    The hardest part about being a SAHM is giving up those adult relationships. I miss that so much. I am super-blessed to be able to stay at home with my boys, but I'd be lying if I said that there weren't days that I didn't wish I was back at the clinic doing my thing. I've lost touch with many people, and really the only close friends I have left are the 2 I've had since kindergarten and before.

    I give all the respect to working moms. I know my friend, and old neighbor, just said she couldn't be the mom she needed to be by staying home with her 2 boys all day. She needed to go to work and have time away. This meant that once she left work, she was running ragged with physical therapy (her oldest has CP) and all the other activities they are involved in. Somehow she also had to get supper cooked as well.

    I don't think it's easy either way. But I do think that staying at home puts a more emotional strain on a mother. That's my opinion based off of my own experience staying and home and working.
     
  14. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    no one is saying anything otherwise. not one person has said that stay at home moms are superior but there seems to be this idea that we all just pull a "peg bundy" and sit around eating bon bons all day.

    My mother worked too.

    NO ONE ever thought I would end up being a stay at home mom. heck no one could believe I was even going to have kids at all lol. I don't think I'm superior to working mothers. although I DO hate it when people say "oh you're a stay at home mom. must be nice" as if someone's just handing it to us and my husband doesn't work his arse off to make this possible. yes it IS nice but it's not exactly a cakewalk lol.

    that being said... we had a pretty decent start to the day today lol. Hannah and I have both been exhausted everyday this week. this morning around 5:30 am she kept having dreams and would whimper and cry. When Brian got up I went in and brought her into my bed. she went back to sleep but kept having these dreams where she would cry and I would "shh shhh shhh it's ok" until the crying stopped and she was sleeping peacefully again lol. this was about every 15 minutes (I don't know WHAT was up with that. poor thing)

    finally I also dozed off...d espite hannah sleeping diagonally in the bed kneading my leg with her toes in her sleep lol. and we didn't wake up until about 9:45 lol.

    Now she's in my bed watching a movie on my phone... I suspect she's not feeling 100%

    But it's been a glorious morning LOL I needed to sleep in a little extra SO badly... apparently she did too lol
     
  15. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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    This, exactly. I even signed a contract with my uncle that I would NEVER have children lol. Though I guess technically now I am a work at home mom as I recently started a job I do at home...but I cant wait to be caught up enough to quit that.

    I will say this, while there is NOTHING wrong about mother's working, I do think for the babies and children themselves, in a perfect world it is best for them to be at home with their mama. HOWEVER, children are very adaptable and again, NOTHING wrong with not staying at home.

    But yeah, it gets annoying when other moms say stuff like "Oh must be nice, wish we could afford to do that" as they drive off in their brand new SUV to their huge mcmansion.
     
  16. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    yeah this drives me crazy. My sister is like this. her first born is about to turn 1 year old and in canada that means it's time for her to go back to work (1 year maternity leave) and she's all like "I wish I could afford to stay home like you. must be nice. don't you at least want to earn some money?"

    ARGH. First of all IF you really wanted to stay home you (by your I mean my sister lol) could.... your husband is an electrician and a specialized one and works for the university and makes a VERY VERY good wage but then you wouldn't be able to buy $300 towels. I mean if you want $300 towels and other such luxuries that's all fine and dandy but don't act like you've got it rough because you "HAVE to go back to work"

    people just always seem to act like someone is handing us the money to do this. NO ... my husband works his behind off (and if you've ever seen him... he doesn't have much hiney to work off lol). he busts his hump day in and day out to make this possible. our house is small and we have to evaluate what is worth the money to purchase and what isn't. We are also blessed because we have enough left over to prepare for retirement and enjoy some luxuries.

    I also agree with Miakoda, being a stay at home mom can be emotionally draining. Especially days when I have PMS lol. Luckily over the last 4 1/2 years I've finally started getting us integrated with more and more people that give me access to more adults LOL
     
  17. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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    Yes, mom time is a MUST! I had two high needs babies, both were round the clock constant nursers and my daughter especially was a horrible HORRIBLE sleeper. But, my husband is an awesome father who genuinely loves being around the kids. I met some wonderful, awesome moms in a local AP group who have since become very close friends (and luckily lol, our children really like each other too!) Now that we are getting to school age, again, we were lucky, many of our current "group" decided to homeschool as well so we kind of get to just keep on keeping on:)

    I will admit, homeschooling adds an extra "layer" to staying at home with the children. There are some days when I think, but if they were in school I could be doing x,y,z. But to me, its worth it in the long run.
     
  18. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    yes absolutely. Now, Hannah is only 4 1/2 so actual "schooling" time is only in 15 minute increments lol. But I am facing the "beginner homeschooler" FREAK OUTS lol. the OMG where do I start? can I do this? What am I thinking?

    Luckily, after joining the homeschool Co op I've discovered that this is completely normal lol. I truly thank God for these women who keep me grounded and talk me down lol

    Add in to the usual stuff... I'm being tortured by a helicopter that keeps flying by my house every 10 minutes barely above tree line with a dude sitting out on a platform. I'm starting to feel like one of those paranoid drug addicts from the movies who think they are being followed :rofl1:

    My first year of being a SAHM was probably the hardest. I didn't have a drivers license so we were essentially STUCK at home lol. That is when I put on all that weight. I spent the first year sitting on the couch staring at my baby lol and the pounds packed on and on and on. the house was a disaster, I had no time management skills at all let alone domestic skills lol. next thing I knew I was a 250+ lb woman with no means to get out of the house and no friends (we had just moved to the area we live now)

    I've come a long way in 4 years lol and now I'm starting to feel like I've really got it together... I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop :rofl1:
     
  19. CaliTerp07

    CaliTerp07 New Member

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    I wish I could find the study I read a year or two ago. They found absolutely no cognitive/emotional difference in teens who had SAHM's vs working moms their whole life. The only difference the study found is that boys who had working mothers were more likely to see women as equal to men than boys who had their moms stay home.

    Bottom line is, mom needs to do what makes her happiest, because baby will be just fine no matter what. A happy mother is a good mother.
     
  20. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    good old studies lol

    I'm sure you could find studies stating the opposite too. that's kind of the problem with studies, you can basically prove whatever point you are trying to make.

    I'm not saying SAHM's are better than working moms or anything like that but I don't put too much stock in anything "studies" say these days.
     

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