I want out. I just do. There's not been a morning/afternoon that I've woken up on this year and thought to myself "I'm so glad I'm alive". Life has become a dreadful, troublesome, and joyless thing to me and I'm so d@mned sick of it, sick to my stomach of it. Call me short sighted, call me childish - whatever, I don't care. I want to rest, I want peace, and I don't want to have to deal with all of these catastrophic happenings anymore; I know that lots of other people all over the world have it alot worse but I'm not comparing my situation to them - I only know how it feels for me and I don't think I can or want to take it anymore. Every day a new, horrible problem rears it's head, every day my surroundings grow more tense and desolate, every day I am drained and exhausted before the day even stars, every day I have to tell myself to just try and hold on - it's much too much, I can't...I just can't. Either I change, the situation changes, or I need to be killed. Things can't go on this way, I can't and don't want to deal with a life that is like this and I don't know that I am gutsy enough to face up to, deal with, and work through things the way they are now....I want to sob and bang my head against something but I haven't the energy or tears left. I'm so done.