Are there things you ask your dogs, as a matter of course, all the time, and then when you think about it you realise how ridiculous you sound? At least, oh, say, 80 times a day, either Max or I will ask Ruby or Chester what they are doing. High-pitched silly voice, and never once, but maybe six or seven times in a row...`What are you doing? What are you doing? Hey? Puppy? What are you doing?' and usually in the throes of cuddles and love (which again, happen on average, about 80 times a day). Recently I have started asking, `What's up puppycup?' Now, clearly, they are not going to answer me. They never will. Why do I ask?