One of my friends from high school is trying to have a baby. She gave me a call to talk.
The one that has been with her boyfriend for ONE YEAR.
Neither has a steady career (he works in a mailroom, she is a waitress)
Nowhere safe,steady or secure to raise this child.
They live in a small apartment in the city where they make rent and pay for utilities but certainly not enough to have savings.
No degrees.
Both don't have good relationships with their families.
but her body and god are telling her to have a baby! She wants one so badly and just has always wanted to be a mother and she is in loveeeeeee
You know what's a pretty big deal about being a mother?
PUTTING YOUR CHILD FIRST AND NOT BEING SELFISH!!
No money. No support system.
How are you going to pay for daycare?
College fund?
School?
Clothes?
What about her college degree? His college degree?
Her parents worked so hard to pay for her to go to college and she threw it away for this guy and now they want a baby?!
We all thought she would get over this guy and her new mrs.suchandsuch fantasy and go back to school and now it's just..ugh!!
"We will figure it out! We are in love and want a baby! People do it all the time."
"You don't get it because you don't like kids!"
It's not that I don't like kids. It's that I RESPECT kids. and think they should have parents who understand what having a child means. The money, the time, the energy. Love doesn't pay for food, day care or send that kid to school!
She gave me the "Your dreams are different than mine! This is my dream and people make it work "
I told her to think about this child and explaining to him/her why they can't afford to live somewhere with a good school district, why he/she can't have her own room, why you never see this kid because you are working two jobs and if the stress of all these things makes her boyfriend run for the hills what would be her plan then. People make it work but that's totally different from planning it and brining a child into this KNOWING that there is so much that could go wrong.
She said I was being mean.
So I hung up on her.
