The Venting Thread

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by *blackrose, Sep 3, 2012.

  1. StephyMei1112

    StephyMei1112 Blackout

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    The dog is an equal - but I've had alot of bfs...
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    Training today was bleh - Katalin was spazzy and freaked a couple times; no biggie but it was bothersome. Weather's cool but still abit damp and humid, makes me drowsy and achy. Life isn't good today.
     
  2. Barbara!

    Barbara! New Member

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    It's not, but Josh technically has this job under the table...so not a whole lot we can do about it.
     
  3. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    Well, then, the boss could be in a ton of hot water with the IRS ;) There is such a thing as leverage.

    Or, when Josh finds another job, there's always the bounty the IRS offers. I'm still contemplating turning Charley's ass in.
     
  4. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

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    Welp, I obviously didn't care about my grandmother, apparently. Definitely went out for dinner and drinks an hour after she passed. *shrugs*
     
  5. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

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    I bought the wrong cat food and have some horribly bloody **** going on with the ferrets
     
  6. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    People deal with loss in different ways. Not everyone mourns in a way that is generally accepted..some cry. some lash out, some end up in heavy denial, some drink, some party, some do drugs, some go shopping, some appear to be happier then ever.. people deal with horrible things in all kinds of ways.

    They lost a child.
    That is a loss that NO PARENT should ever have to bear. How they wake up in the morning, deal with that loss and go on with their lives is an epic struggle that I feel we (people who aren't them/haven't lost a child/have no idea what they are feeling/what they have been through/what they are thinking) have no right to pass judgement.

    You may be dealing with the death of your friend a certain way..the only way you know how/can. Well, so are they. How would you feel if somebody judged you or poked your already open wound at a time like this?

    Sorry. Pet peeve of mine. When I lost someone dear to me.. I smiled and went about my business like any happy teenager, and was really hurting inside and dealing with that hurt the only way that made me feel like I could go on.
    People judged and it honestly made the pain even worse. To even THINK that the loss didn't affect me because I wasn't mourning in a way they thought was appropriate was frankly, insulting.
     
  7. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

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    where's my like button?
     
  8. Romy

    Romy Taxiderpy

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    While I agree to an extent... it's really hard to be sympathetic to these specific people when they neglected their child and when that person is dead (a death that could well have been avoided had she gotten more family support) then abandoned their child's remains and left Stephy to cover all her funeral expenses.
     
  9. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    There's a big difference between losing someone at the end of a long life, especially, like with my grandmother, if it comes after a long, debilitating illness. I know, hard as it was to know she was gone from this plane of existence, that I felt some relief for her, and having someone (especially a child) take their life when it's barely begun.

    The fact that Stephy took care of her last rites speaks volumes. Really. What parent does that? It's a totally different lens, though, than if you've been raised in a family that loves you and shows it. It's bound to be alien. Some parents really don't care.

    Who knows? Maybe they're relieved it's over. But not taking care of her funeral and all . . . that just tells a story.
     
  10. StephyMei1112

    StephyMei1112 Blackout

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    Fran & Jess,

    While normally I would agree - these certain people are exceptions. They DIDN'T care. Period - about her life at all. They wouldn't have done a thing for her in life - and it looks like it's the same in death as well. She told me how they treated her, how they made her feel, what they did, their lack of support and cold shoulder treatment after she decided on her lifestyle...there's a history that I know that no one else really does.

    They have been nothing but cold, unfeeling, unsympathetic, judgmental, and negligent. After being as close as I was to someone that had them as a parental unit and suffered the damage that she did - I have extremely little sentiment left for them.

    In Emii's own words:

    "They aren't my parents - we share a gene pool. That's it."


     
  11. Romy

    Romy Taxiderpy

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    Yeah, and I'm assuming here, that Jess' family probably made arrangements for something to be done with her grandmother's remains. She can correct me if I'm wrong obviously, but the fact that they didn't care to do that much for Emiley speaks volumes to me.
     
  12. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    It's got to be difficult for someone who comes from a loving sort of family to imagine one that uncaring. It goes against everything we're programmed -- instinctively and societally -- to believe.

    That's why parents like that do so much damage to their children.
     
  13. StephyMei1112

    StephyMei1112 Blackout

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    Jess,

    It wasn't just the fb photos - it's everything leading up to her death (including it perhaps). The neglect, abuse, lack of support - they made their disinterest in her very clear when I approached to ask about her whereabouts - even more so when I informed them she was dead. They were very ashamed of her, they felt that people would look down on them for raising someone that changed their gender etc - they didn't stick up for her or check in with her after she left home even once. They didn't reassert her, accept her, or anything - apart from giving her ultimatums of cutting her hair, throwing away her feminine clothes and cosmetics, and acting more like a guy or else. That else was the dominant factor in their relationship. Ok it's one sided - I don't know how it was for them all those years bla bla bla, but I certainly knew how it was for Emii - and that's really enough for me. She was more than a friend - alot more, people don't usually grasp it very well but I don't think at this stage or any other that I need to explain/dissect the dynamics between us to satisfy anyone else.

    Because they were harsh and unfeeling does that mean they didn't love her? Certainly not. But there's not really that much to go on that indicates that they did either.
     
  14. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

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    Do people not make arrangements for themselves? I honestly thought that was how everybody did it... my grandma's arrangements were made -- by her. My parents arrangements are made by them, and once I can get time to sit down with our life insurance guy, my arrangements will be made.
     
  15. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

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    I got a Rosey pumpkin pattern. Allie has much more faith in my artistic talents than I do. ITS GOMNA BE HORRIBLE . Lol
     
  16. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    That is really awful. There really is no excuse for treating your child that way or not being there for them. That I agree with 100%. I am in NO WAY saying that these people are good parents.

    but.. just saying. that they may not be as happy as they seem. Ashamed, sad, regretful, isn't always as obvious as it looks.
    They totally COULD be soul-less heartless people who don't care that their daughter took her life.. but, that isn't for certain. They could really feel horrible for how they treated her while she was alive, so horrible in fact that they are unable to even deal with the guilt surrounding her death.

    As Renee said, it's hard for me to even THINK that these people are honestly happy.. Parents love their kids, they raised her, they lived with her, they took care of her as a baby and loved her when she was little even if they didn't "love" her choices as an adult. I'm just saying..there is a chance that these people, as awful as they were, do regret and are in A LOT of pain.
     
  17. StephyMei1112

    StephyMei1112 Blackout

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    Certainly that can be put in place - but Emii did not have such arrangements set up. A total indifference to arranging something/getting something together as Romy & Renee said says quite alot...

     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2012
  18. Romy

    Romy Taxiderpy

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    Bleah. Today was mostly a blah day. My kids are both sick. It's just headcolds but they had a rough day. I feel bad for them.

    Still have to do the laundry and dishes and Samuel is doing his best Klingon impression which makes it difficult to do anything. The kid weighs almost 30 lbs. now.
     
  19. Lyzelle

    Lyzelle New Member

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    Not only is it shark week, but I seem to be having a Crohn's relapse. :( I would really like to just be able to eat. Something. And do something in one fell swoop like laundry and dishes instead of constantly running to the bathroom.
     
  20. Romy

    Romy Taxiderpy

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    Ouch! This is random, but in the past (before the celiac diagnosis) I had all the symptoms of Crohn's. Plain M&Ms and bananas were usually a safe bet. The combo of the candy coating stuff and fibery sugary bananas really helped.

    Hope you can eat soon. That's just miserable. :(
     

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