Stephy's midnight musings/updates

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by StephyMei1112, Dec 10, 2012.

  1. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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    Ok, wow, people are taking this way too....something. Yes, the original story is fishy and I am pretty sure exaggerated at best, maybe totally false at worse. I have not seen anyone "attack" or start a witch hunt however, I have seen some blunt posts and that is really expected...needed....and warranted.
     
  2. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    Compassion is not reserved for only those who open up more. But what we read is all we really have to go on. And I think that's unfair to call people self serving when they are just trying to be nice. And I don't happen to see it as enabling...not at that point yet. imo.
     
  3. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    I don't have any issue with how I have "publicly displayed" myself in regards to this topic. I'm sorry that you dislike Chaz so much. Why do you come here if we are all such vile, cruel people?
     
  4. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    :hail:
     
  5. Airn

    Airn New Member

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    I agree with this. My best friends are 'online' friends. I don't socialize much. I've known most of my online friends for 5+ years. They know me better (on some levels) than my 'real' friends know me. So, while I haven't been on this forum long enough to make friends, I've made plenty of online friends. Sometimes it is hard to know what is real and what is being exaggerated. But, honestly it can just as hard to know if someone is being serious 'in real'. This is definitely one of those times. I don't know enough about Stephy or her situation to have an opinion on the validity of her posts.

    I don't think any of what is said will make a difference, personally. She might be reaching out, she might be whining. She might might be listening, she might just want to talk about mashed potatoes and crappy roommates. It doesn't really matter. Those are who supporting/enabling will continue to do so and those challenging/attacking will continue to do so as well.

    Too many questions and not enough answers in this case. I doubt she'll divulge enough information to satisfy everyone.

    I feel bad for her, but I'm more of a tough love kind of person. I'm not heartless, I'm realistic. Some people need help and when they get it, they succeed. Some people get help all their lives and just end up becoming dependent and whiny. **** happens. People deal with it differently.

    I hope she gets help, but I can't say it affects my life one way or the other if she does. I will agree with some who say some of the validity matters since another forum member has her dog. I would hope someone wouldn't drop off their dog on someone else, so I'll assume she really is having problems. But, even though I love my dog, if I was this depressed I doubt the hope that I could get my dog back would change my life.

    This has just shown me that if I decide to display personal information and ask for vibes/advice/whatever I need to be prepared to give the full story. It's like in high school/Facebook (same thing, right?) when people say something along the lines "Omg I'm so mad at this situation. It's really awful." But when asked by someone "What's wrong? How can I help?" They become mute and offer excuses like "Oh it's personal." or "I can't tell you on here. The person is might see. I'll text you." I just choose to ignore those people. Sometimes there are not excuses for the reason you are acting a certain way. Lots of people have been depressed and/or suicidal.

    I honestly have no idea what to think on this matter. It's confusing as hell. But it's certainly sparked quite a controversy on this forum.
     
  6. ThoseWordsAtBest

    ThoseWordsAtBest Wu-Tang Steph

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    Well, I think it's equally unfair to imply that people who question the story are uncaring and whatever other stuff that has been associated with people questioning the truth. It's just ingrained in me on the internet that if someone uses photos that aren't actually of them and posts an incredulous never ending tail to say "Wait. Explain this, this, and this please." In the end, no one is being wrong. It comes with the territory of posting on a public forum.

    I think whoever this gal is she does obviously need help, but not in a way where every one just accepts whatever is presented. Sorry, if someone claims they're now prostituting no one saying "Welp, be safe!" is helping and not any more so than people questioning the validity.
     
  7. sassafras

    sassafras mushinois

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    I think attention seeking IS reaching out for help. And I think a better analogy to what I'm trying to say is that stomping on the gas pedal when someone is about to drive off a cliff is enabling a poor choice. And yes, enabling is a bad thing when it encourages unhealthy behavior and poor choices.

    Except that there is a real person taking care of a real dog in this situation. It's not you and it's not me, but there is the potential for real, tangible consequences here.
     
  8. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

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    This.

    It's HEALTHY to question things you read/see.

    Ask Questions.
     
  9. Beanie

    Beanie Clicker Cult Coordinator

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    That might be true of you but cannot be said of all members here at Chaz. Most notably Romy who has the dog in her home, but I know others were involved with that, and I have also seen multiple members offer further assistance, which may or may not have been given/accepted. But in this post I will only further address Romy since she has pretty clearly given the most as far as something you can measure here.

    However, unless things have been said that I am not privy to (which I admit is likely because I am honestly trying to stay out of this dramafest) Romy is not complaining about housing the dog. She did so willingly and out of the goodness of her heart, which having been here for seven years I know is not out of character for Romy - I have seen her offer help and assistance to many Chazzers multiple times.

    I don't claim to know how Romy would feel if it turned out this is nothing but a pack of lies and she was being taken advantage of. I do, however, understand why people are reasonably concerned that Romy IS being taken advantage of... even if, should the worst be true, Romy would simply say "I opened my heart and my home to somebody I believed needed help and I have no regrets." God knows many of us are protective and react more strongly in defense of another person than even ourselves - I am one of those. Cross me, well that's not good for you - but cross someone I care for, and I will destroy you.


    So I think that is what you have here. People who are skeptical and worried that Romy is being taken advantage of, even if Romy herself does not have the same concern. Because members HAVE been hurt and taken advantage of here... many many people had their hearts broken over what happened to Reggin, so though one might claim "I'm only giving my love and support and that is free," it certainly wasn't free for those who were highly emotionally invested in a dog. And we all love dogs here, myself included, but what's happening here is people being highly emotionally invested in a PERSON. And I cannot imagine how hurt many people would be should this turn out to not be true.

    IMO that is why people are skeptical... and why things are turning a bit harsh.
     
  10. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    I don't think I implied that someone questioning the truth is uncaring. I just think it is scary to risk being outwardly suspicious and calling her a liar etc if she's being truthful and her story is really what she says. I have no problem with questioning the truth or wondering, thinking that it's awful if it's not true. But I think those kinds of thoughts should be kept under the bed for a while longer until we know more. The risk of fall out is too great. That's all.
     
  11. ThoseWordsAtBest

    ThoseWordsAtBest Wu-Tang Steph

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    I don't think it's any more scary than supporting someone by enabling their actions. There were a few "OK be safe, sometimes you have to do what you have to do" in the prostitution bit. That's not any more OK than calling someone a liar. Basically all any one should be doing is saying "See a mental health professional." and referring the post to facilities and resources and expressing wishes for the best. Not supporting the current tales, because if they are somehow true that's pretty dangerous too.

    In this circumstance I'm pretty sure none of this is being done out of malice on OP's part. I booted a chick from a group who was found to be lying about so many things, and the proof was found. I don't think she was lying to hurt any one, but it hurts those emotionally invested in dogs that never existed and stories that never happened. We can't offer her any actual help and she couldn't offer us the truth for whatever reason. I didn't want to enable her any more, and I didn't want people on any off chance get invested again.

    And as far removed as I was from her because I figured out she was not telling the truth long before, it still really pissed me off to have spent any time I did talking to her and offering ideas or support.
     
  12. Jules

    Jules Magic, motherf@%$*#!

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    :hail: :hail: :hail:
     
  13. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    Okay...I won't say another thing. I'm going to go look at Poodle pictures.
     
  14. Beanie

    Beanie Clicker Cult Coordinator

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    FWIW I don't think it's bad that people are opening their hearts (or their homes.) Some people give money to the homeless man on the street corner, risking that he may go spend it on drugs or alcohol just as easily as he might spend it on food, because they believe the best of people and believe in helping people. As typical for me, I see merit to both sides of this. I agree that if she is truly suicidal this is a case of playing with fire. I also agree that it appears something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
    I don't know the right answer, but I don't think fighting with each OTHER is the right answer.
     
  15. AllieMackie

    AllieMackie Wookie Collie

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    Just finished reading the thread, and was going to post this, but less eloquently.

    The thread's getting a bit out of hand in places, but I don't think it's wrong for people to be skeptical. Being skeptical isn't a torch-wave.
     
  16. Laurelin

    Laurelin I'm All Ears

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    Yeah that. I've been trying to think of what to say in all these threads and I'm just really not sure what I believe or say.
     
  17. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    I don't think it's wrong to be skeptical either. In fact, I have thoughts popping into my head from time to time. But I do think it's important to watch how we express that skepticism. I'd rather err on the side of caution until and unless we know, which we may never.
     
  18. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    Thank you, Dober.
     
  19. darkchild16

    darkchild16 We are Home.

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    This^ Spamming every thread with what chapter or whatever is getting old starting crap in a facebook thread is getting old. (not the person who started the thread btw) Everyone is claiming worry about Romy but has anyone offered to help her with the dog?
     
  20. stafinois

    stafinois Professional Nerd

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    Out of curiosity, who ARE her profile pics of?
     

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