Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by StephyMei1112, Dec 10, 2012.
Agree with the whole post and the bolded part...touchÃ©~
I have genuine concern with anyone who's truly engaged in a dangerous lifestyle. I take genuine offense, having been there myself, of people who fake such experiences. I also support those questioning validity. I reserve any true emotion, and encourage others to as well, until I see some proof because like I said I've been fooled before, after years of forums.
To each their own but neither side, those enabling and those challenging (otherwise known as supporting or attacking), is any less valid at this point in the story.
Venting is one thing. Coming to a dog forum and, within a month or so, turning everything you post into a soap opera is another.
As far as whether the "pissing" has to do with "they aren't doing what I say to do?" I can only speak for myself, but as far as I'm concerned that has nothing to do with it. I'm personally more concerned about people who otherwise mean well being preyed upon because they tend to put their heart before their head. I'm not heartless, I'm cynical, and that makes me ask questions...and I wasn't born that way, but I'm not going to post my life story on an internet dog forum.
What concerns, frustrates, and angers me is that the ones close to this fiasco do not have 100% insight where they can say "I know for a fact that this is true" (and with that I mean Romy). While I don't need to know all the nitty gritty details, she does. When you open your home to someone's dog, feed it, take care of it, you deserve to know.
And as long as Romy can't say that she verified the story to more than just being able to say that the pms seem to match up... I'm not buying it.
Couldn't agree more.
I think this is the best point here. I've been quietly reading along because all of my TV shows ended last week, but it's one thing to post whatever you want on the internet (maybe goes without saying, but my BS meter flew off and broke long ago) but when people start investing emotionally it's bad news bears when it what is and isn't true comes to light. Someone has this chick's dog. People are already emotionally invested and time/money(?) is in it too.
I believe Sass somewhere said it, but I personally think it's dangerous to feed a fire of delusions. We don't know what is or isn't true, but it's obvious these threads are only fueled when the attention is garnered. If it goes negative, like this thread, the roommate thread, and the small dog threads, the OP stops posting in them and makes a new thread. I've had this happen several times on a facebook group from another forum where people were actually proven to be posting things that weren't true and getting people emotionally invested. It sucks.
And I have to wonder if some of the unconditional support doesn't have more to do with needing to be needed than it does with really giving a rodent's rear about the person.
Oh, look! Projecting motivation onto other people and passive-aggressively insulting them is fun! Oh wait, no it's not.
We had that happen with the Binn threads. That person, I stuck up for too for the longest time and it came out factually that it was all a big lie. And that dog suffered. We were all emotionally invested in that and felt like fools after the truth came out. So, I know what you're saying. I just hate to think that if it is all true, people are calling her a liar and criticizing her motives or the way she posts, how she disappears, then makes a new thread...all negative stuff. I hate to think if you're wrong (because there is no definite proof either way) and there is unkindness and hurt done to her. It would be worse than if you're right and we who are trying to be supportive (you call it enabling) wind up looking like dummies in the end. I don't know about you, but I can take it. It's not going to make me an emotional wreck if I find out later that the whole thing is as you say. So, that's my take...that it's just too risky to not be supportive or at least kind about it...at this stage anyway. Call me an emotional moron...:dunno:
Maybe I see the world through rose colored glasses but I have sympathy for Stephy's situation. Could it be misplaced? Sure. I dont know Stephy at all. Ive never spoken to her save for commenting to her thread twice (this being the second time) but rather than doubting her I choose to care.
It does not cost me anything to be nice. In life I have tons of regrets, I am sure I will have many more..But one thing I have never regretted and never will was showing kindness or compassion to someone that seemed in need even if in the end it was misplaced.
I think ultimately people should do whatever they want, but I think it's fair game (ESPECIALLY on the internet.) for people to call it like they see it. I think it's fine to care about the situations as people present, but I think it's fine to question a story. This whole saga is extremely questionable to me and I think it's unhealthy to feed into, but I haven't had any thing to say because whatever. The only thing that motivates me to say any thing is because now someone has her dog. If you start crossing internet into real life then people should definitely start questioning the story and asking for more information.
I'm quite close with people I only know on the internet and will likely never meet, and I've sent money/gifts/etc. to them, so it's not like I don't understand feeling empathy and caring about people I don't know.
Thank you. <3
It's not about worrying about looking like a dummy. It's about ("what I call") enabling being harmful to the person being enabled. I wouldn't buy an alcoholic friend or acquaintance a bottle of Wild Turkey to be "supportive." Nor do I feel it's mentally healthy to encourage and support this kind of unhealthy attention-seeking.
I don't think anyone doesn't think that Stephy has problems she needs help for. But what some people think is helpful, I think is harmful.
Hey ... Everyone hurts, that's life. I think everyone would be a little more sympethetic if she TRIED to help herself, but she has had chance after chance, friends have tried to help her, I. Face the friend she says was "false" sounded like (to me) that she stuck her neck out to try to help her & she got it guillotined from this end it sounded like her friend was trying to be a GOOD friend & got burned if a friend did that to me, he's it would **** me off.
I see no jackasses here, only some very blunt, very dry opinions but in all fairness the only one who used any name calling I this thread, was you.
How do you know it's merely attention seeking and not reaching out for help? Are you a psychiatrist? Even then, without knowing her more, how can you assume it's enabling or the same thing as giving an alcoholic a drink? If someone is feeling desperate and reaching their hand up for someone to grab hold of, have someone be encouraging... is that enabling? If someone were about to fall off a cliff and all you had to do was throw them a rope or reach your hand to pull them back, would that be "enabling?" Is enabling a bad thing? Enabling someone to live?
Didn't even read the whole thread. But there sure are some catty bitches on this forum. If anything, I hope you breeders, rescuers, and "friends" are proud of how you've publically displayed yourselves. Chaz isn't any place for friends or a needed vent. It's a witch hunt. I wouldn't trust any of you with anything, god forbid your advice about anything.
But help and support and all that has been given... What comes back are threads about mashed potatoes and catty girlfriend's of a studio roommate. There is nothing to grasp other than stories, pretty words spun into a dramatic story. And even her pictures are not of herself. So what is true and what is catfish?
I am all for helping someone in need - but there has got to be something tangible to a story. Would you donate to someone coming here claiming their dog needed funds for a surgery without having proof that the story is true?
But I'm not donating money. Just me. And that's for free and doesn't cost me a thing. If it helps, great. If it doesn't because it's all a sham, then....oh well. At least I know I have the ability to try.
I just wanted to say I find this completely and utterly untrue. I've made some wicked vents on here and made some even more amazing friends on this forum.
I think this pretty much sums it up for me.
I feel tremendous compassion for Steffy, but enabling her is not a compassionate thing to do. It's self-serving, doesn't help Steffy at all.
I think we could all use a little less BS in our lives.
I've seen chaz turn on folks with some serious venom. For all we know some of those folks were hurting as much if not more than steffi, they just didn't voice it online.
If compassion is only reserved for those who put out the most effort in to advertising their misery, then we're a sorry lot indeed.