Spoke with Grammy and she sent a message

darkchild16

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Its taken me awhile to write this. I can never get the courage up to write it no matter how many times I say I will.

Grammy,
You were my grammy when mine had left and then when my Oma died you were right there to help me with that. You have been my grammy since i was 16 you have been there through high school projects and boyfriends, through getting pregnant with bev and then getting married and pregnant with Morgan. You have always known just what to say when I was upset you were there when dad got into his accident praying for us and cheering him on. You may have said some things over the years that were very blunt and pissed me off but it was always because you loved and cared about us. I miss your posts here so much. Every so often through out the day I end up getting a few tears in my eye over this. The other day I saw a Golden riding in a SUV just happy as can be and I thought of you and Ollie. I remember when you lost Chip and adopted Ollie and how he just fit right in. Go see your Chip, Bubba and all you other goldens. Give Booger, JD and Ranger a pet for me I know they will love you. I think of you surrounded by all the past chaz animals and your past animals sitting there talking with my grandma and oma and knowing yall would have alot of fun together. Dad is actually home now he is in a coma still but he is home and Morgan will be 3 mths on the 25th and the fight over Connor ends next Monday. We love you and are thinking about you. (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
 

Fran27

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Hey Grammy

Been thinking of you every day.. even though I don't really come here anymore ; I still had to come back to post this. I miss your wits and wise advice, and Chaz will never be the same without our Grammy... I hope you are comfortable and that whatever time you have left among us will be a happy one.
 

milos_mommy

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Grammy,

I will always remember the humor and devotion in your posts, how much a part of the Chaz family you were, how proudly you spoke of your children and grandchildren, the wisdom and the love and the life you had here. The pictures of you with other members, with Ollie, with a glass of wine...how much you loved your SUV, and how whenever someone asks me for car suggestions I think of your posts about it. Every moment I spend on Chaz I will miss you and your posts. I have always loved reading about your memories and your wise and witty comments.

Love Always,
Alex (aka. Milos_mommy)
 

Dakotah

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I have been reading everyone's letters to Grammy and trying to figure out how to write my own... this is so hard.

Grammy,
You are an amazing woman, you have a heart of gold, and I am so proud to have gotten to know such a great woman like you. I remember you always being there for me and never doubting me. I pray you find peace and that you will soon be out of pain. I know you can't wait to see your Golden babies again :). You were the Grammy we all always wanted and I think I speak for everyone when I say that you are such a beautiful, loving woman. You mean very much to me. I love you Grammy... ***hugs***

Love,
Dakotah
 
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I've sent this last list of letters on to Amy, along with a note from me:

These letters, dearest, dearest Grammy, are part of your legacy. Not many of us get to touch so many lives, across so many miles, as you have, with grace, wit, sometimes aggravation, kindness, laughter, the occasional spanking; the whole gamut of human emotions . . . and always, always, you do it with love.

Because you are brave enough to have an open heart. May your Journey thrive, Dear Soul-friend. Until we meet somewhere again. I will know you by your laughter.
 
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Update from Amy:

There is so much I want to type right now but I'm on a stupid Blackberry until getting to work tomorrow. The end is very near. We had an awful couple of days/nights mid-last week pain-wise. I even spent the night w/her and slept on the floor to make sure they con't w/the new pain regimen that got her stabilized - but it took about 12 excruciating hours to get her there. She was yelling my name and "make it stop!" "this is so cruel!" Etc it was heart wrenching. Now she's been comfortable since Friday. And she's having fleeting bouts of clarity that come out of the blue. Yesterday while spending the afternoon with her she swings her head my way eyes wide and blurts "Help me I think I'm dying!" But we started talking about it with much calm and peacefulness and it was all so natural and it was her acceptance stage of the dying process and she's ready to go. A nurse came in and asked how's she's doing and she states almost defiantly w/ a tinge of disappointment "Oh, I've given up." As of today's visit (which was more brief as we took our newly adopted shelter dog to meet each other before she goes) I think she may be having visions and conversations with another world that she'll share snippets w/us like we're in on it too. She is comfortable and that is of utmost importance after experiencing what I did w/her. And that I'm able to be with her and we can feel this level of compassion and understanding has been the biggest blessing from God I've ever experienced. She told me she is not afraid. I'll try to keep you posted the best I can.

Take care and more later when I can type!
Amy
Amy got to read your posts I sent and will share them with Grammy.

Omigawsh... I am speechless. What a tribute to Mom and how she's touched the lives of so many. My wish is that this tribute is testimoney that it doesn't matter who you are in life you can have a profound affect on others in this world just by stepping outside of self and truly caring about those around you. I have some vintage pics of Grammy and her loves I'll share with Chaz soon (including raccoons!). Thank you so much for sharing...
Amy
 

Laurelin

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Ohhh Grammy. :(

I remember dealing with that with my mom. The bouts of clarity amidst it all. Tell Amy that she has my prayers too. It's just an awful thing to watch someone go through.

I've been having a hard time coming up with what I want to tell Grammy.

Grammy, you were there for me in the hardest time of my life. You helped me so much with your words of compassion and wisdom. You helped me the most when I was trying to understand my grandmother, whom I had not had a good relationship with in a long time. I just wanted to say thank you for that. I'm going to visit my grandmother this weekend and a lot of that is because of you.

You have always been an inspiration and a steady place for us all. You are so spirited and passionate in everything you do. I only wish we could have met face to face. Even so, you have left a mark not only on this forum but on everyone here. I miss you every time I log into chaz.

We love you and are with you.

Lauren
 

Dakotah

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I know I have already written her a letter but I must say... This is so heart breaking to know she will be leaving us soon... I am crying like I haven't cried since my Papa died a few years ago. Grammy you are a strong woman. I love you very much.
 

GipsyQueen

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Dear Grammy,

I have actually written a card to you - and will send it to you today, but I know international shipping can take a while, so I just thought I would write this out here as well. 3 1/2 years ago (I can't believe it's been that long) I joined chat (because I wanted tips on how to get Gipsy to walk up the stairs) and you were one of the first people to greet me here. I, like every one else here, loved you almost istantly. Your wit and humor but also your advice and knowledge. I haven't expirenced as much as Breeze, or Lauren while I've been here, but you've always been here none the less. You've been there for so many of us that I just can't imagine Chazhound without you.
Gipsy sends you lots of kisses! I love and miss you Grammy!

Love,
Laura
 

Beanie

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Grammy,
I want you to know we will be okay. We will miss your presence, your wisdom, and your compassion - but we will be okay. You've taught a lot of us a great number of things, and we won't forget them.
I admire you so. You are an amazing woman and my favourite part about you is that you always have the confidence to say what is on your mind. I am so relieved to hear that you aren't afraid. My mom's mom died before I was born so I've only had one grandma, but it felt like when I met you here, I gained a second grandma. I think about how much love you must have in your heart to be another grandma to so many of us here. Then I think about how loved you are by all of us here. That's a whole lot of love going around.
So it's okay to leave us. You can keep a much better eye on us all where you're going anyway! And I know I will see you again sometime.
 
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Grammy,

You brought so much life and love and laughter to this forum. You always had a kind word to say to anyone that was experiencing a hard time. You were always the voice of reason and wisdom - reminding me so much of my own grandmother. They say that life is what you make it, and I think that you made so very much of it. I will miss you tremendously.
 

smkie

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I wish I could have met you a long time ago because we would have had so much fun together, our interests parallel as our ethics and our understanding of our lives. I wish we could have been children together, riding our bikes with our dogs running beside. Playing in the woods, and making daisy chains to place on golden heads. We would have played duets on the piano and laughed. I have felt this way since the first day I met you. Maybe one day we will get that chance. I don't feel that good friends ever really part.

I felt so welcome in your home, more than any place I have ever been, even with all three of my dogs. You seemed genuinely happy we were there, and we certainly were happy to be there, it doesn't get any better than that. I am so glad I was able to come both times. I loved when you showed me the dress your Mother embroidered and I looked with my magnifying loop and found they were small flowers. Talking of how perfect her stitches were. When you shared with me your Mother's lovely brush work, I so greatly admired her light hand and the quality of each brush stroke. Talking about the piano music you liked, that you had an angry song, as do I. Playing aggravation outside with You with Zoom, with Blue. I have all these memories, little films in my head to remember our time together, and I feel so lucky to have been there. I remember all of Ollie's stories, the cookie he brought you being my favorite, and your doing Ollie's ears at bedtime. I have a photo above my desk, you looking away at something with one hand on Ollie ear, and Ollie having the silliest, happiest smile on his face. You can tell just he was thrilled to with your touch.

I was always amazed at your strength and how you fought what I knew hurt you. You never let on, and I understood why. You focused on the good, always. I watched you walk across those cold hard stones and I felt the ache I knew you had to be feeling, yet I saw you sit and enjoy the morning. A lesson to us all.

You shared in the trials and tribulations of what my Son has gone through, from a teen to a young Father, and have always been a supportive force in my efforts to raise Hyia. I loved that you loved my Mother too. I know you wanted to come and meet her, I so wish we could have made that happen. It would have been an honor to have you in my home with Ollie.

There isn't a single day that I don't think Grammy would like this, or I want to share that with Pat. I know that will never change.
 
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Got this from Amy a little bit ago:

Amazing night with Mom tonight. She was trying to let me in on her little hidden world of knowledge she now has and has been talking about "anniversaries" and how lucky we are etc. (Can't figure out stance) Then she asks if she's already ordered a martini. Then asks what time our flight is tomorrow. :) Glad to know she's in a GOOD place :) I told her before I left how I tell my babies before I leave for no matter how much time I say "see you in a minute"... She knows this. So when I finally had to physically leave and we were saying goodbye she blurts "see you in a minute!!" :)
 

Laurelin

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It's good to hear she's doesn't seem to be in as much pain anymore. I think about her every day and check this thread first thing every morning.
 

Debi

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I love you, dearest Bubbat. always have, always will. you are so special, and I am better having known you. BIGGEST HUGS.
 

Barb04

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Dear Grammy,

I don't know how to begin but at the beginning when you picked me up at the airport for our first mod meeting. We both felt like we've known each other before. I so loved going back to your house to have Ollie greet me with big kisses and a roll on the floor. Helping you to fix up the house awaiting the arrival of the mods was like being back with my mom. You know that I always felt that you were the new "mom" to come in my life. Giving you a DVD of my wedding day was a way of having you feel like you were there.

All I can say Grammy, is that Carl & I love you so very much and you are a part of our family too. I will forever toast to you using "our" wine glasses. I don't know what happens after this life but know my mom will be there to thank you for being a special part of her daughter's life.

Love you Grammy!

Barb
 
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Still thinking of you Grammy, you are a very special person. Never forget that.

I wish I was great with words, so many on here are... but I am still in a state of shock over this, can't belive it and don't want to.

Praying for you. ~~~~~hugs~~~~~
 

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