Something my cousin posted on FB about Halloween

[~Jessie~]

How dare you ask that a parent be there to watch/pay attention to their kids

And kids don't need manners, either!

Say please if you want something. Say thank you if you get something whether you like it or not. If your kid can't say thank you, be there to say it with/for them.

If my kid is allergic to peanuts I'm not going to expect every household to stop giving candy with peanuts.

If my kid can't have gum or marshmallows because they have braces, I'm not going to tell people not to give those out. My child will be expected to say "thank you" and then obviously doesn't have to eat them.

Everything on that list can be handled with a parent to be there while Trick-or-Treating.

 

[JessLough]

Nilif.

 

[~Jessie~]

Well, I am just thankful I have fun neighbors who understand kids are kids, when overexcited and aroused they don't always put their best self forward. Model behavior you want but forcing it is not ok.

It takes like 2 seconds to say thanks.

Teach your children that their neighbors are opening their doors and GIVING you candy. THEY don't have to give it to you. In order to get it, you have to ask for it ("trick-or-treat") and then say "thanks" since you were GIVEN a treat.

Would you go to a store and let your kid just run out with a bag of candy just because they are over excited? No, you have to stop and pay for it. Why would you teach your kid that grabbing candy without saying thanks is acceptable?

 

[darkchild16]

So you should be preemptive , have quite a few parents like here there too.

Hes 2. I shouldnt have to tell everyone we come across oh hes autistic and non verbal. I dont tell you how to parent dont tell me how to or try to parent MY child. (general you obviously)

I mean since its a dog forum Ill put it this way:

How would you like someone to take it upon themselves to train your dog when your there without asking you?

I feel the same about my kid.

 

[yoko]

And kids don't need manners, either!

Say please if you want something. Say thank you if you get something whether you like it or not. If your kid can't say thank you, be there to say it with/for them.

If my kid is allergic to peanuts I'm not going to expect every household to stop giving candy with peanuts.

If my kid can't have gum or marshmallows because they have braces, I'm not going to tell people not to give those out. My child will be expected to say "thank you" and then obviously doesn't have to eat them.

Everything on that list can be handled with a parent to be there while Trick-or-Treating.

Having the parent there makes a WORLD of a difference. The parent can say thank you. The child may not say it but they see their parent doing it. You don't have to force a child to do something to show that it's right and polite.

AND this may be me being paranoid with my little cousins and nephew but I don't care how excited they are they don't run off to the next house. They stay with me or whatever adult the whole time. People are sick. And a lot of the sick people like to glorify Halloween. They aren't out of my eye sight/reach ever. Period.

 

[~Jessie~]

Having the parent there makes a WORLD of a difference. The parent can say thank you. The child may not say it but they see their parent doing it. You don't have to force a child to do something to show that it's right and polite.

AND this may be me being paranoid with my little cousins and nephew but I don't care how excited they are they don't run off to the next house. They stay with me or whatever adult the whole time. People are sick. And a lot of the sick people like to glorify Halloween. They aren't out of my eye sight/reach ever. Period.

Exactly! My parents always made me stay with them- I wasn't allowed to just run off to the next house.

Again, this all just comes back to how parents should be supervising their kids.

 

[Zhucca]

Wowza, this thread shows one the of the reasons I do not hand out candy. I'm not a big fan of halloween, I could not care less. I don't like kids, is the majority of my reason. Especially rude ones, which there are a lot of.

So, I guess my only complaint is that don't knock/ring the bell when the houses' lights are off and there are no decorations that would suggest I'm handing out candy. Please and thanks.

 

[Greenmagick]

Mine are always with me, and as stated I do say thank you. (modeling appropriate behavior but not forcing it) I am not however going to decide what is appropriate for other parents, hell maybe they have anxiety and its hard enough for them to walk with their child door to door. I am just not going to worry about it...I will hand out candy with a smile regardless of whether I get a thank you from parent or child.

 

[yoko]

So, I guess my only complaint is that don't knock/ring the bell when the houses' lights are off and there are no decorations that would suggest I'm handing out candy. Please and thanks.

I know a lot of people around this area started doing it because some of the people don't celebrate Halloween but don't want to be 'THAT' house so if kids come to their house even without lights or decorations they give money...

 

[JessLough]

Hes 2. I shouldnt have to tell everyone we come across oh hes autistic and non verbal. I dont tell you how to parent dont tell me how to or try to parent MY child. (general you obviously)

I mean since its a dog forum Ill put it this way:

How would you like someone to take it upon themselves to train your dog when your there without asking you?

I feel the same about my kid.

Preemptive as in say trick or treat for him when they answer the door, thank you after they give candy is what I meant xD

 

[CaliTerp07]

How would you like someone to take it upon themselves to train your dog when your there without asking you?

I feel the same about my kid.

My dog would never be running loose needing someone to train her, though (the way the teens in my old neighborhood were). I would not be putting her in a situation where she is going to be overwhelmed and scared or frustrated.

I KNOW that taking Lucy to the un-fenced, off leash park in the middle of downtown is setting her up for disaster--so I don't take her. Just like I wouldn't take a child who is likely to become stressed and freaked out trick-or-treating. We'd go to Grandma's house or I'd ask the next door neighbor if we could come by, or we'd go to church or the mall trick or treat, or we would just carve pumpkins inside and not go out.

You can absolutely raise your child however you like--but you have to be aware that other people who come into contact with your child are going to react a certain way. Just like I can have a dog who jumps up on people and be fine with that, but I can't get mad if she jumps up on someone and they push her away or tell her no. I should have trained that out of her.

 

[darkchild16]

Preemptive as in say trick or treat for him when they answer the door, thank you after they give candy is what I meant xD

ohhhh i said that I do that, hence where I got confused LOL.

Youd be shocked by the amount of people who get mad about ME answering for him like that. Its gotten to where we just get them on cookie at the grocery store to split because the employees got pissy that HE didnt say thank you and told him he was rude. I ended up with a black eye that trip from his melt down. He understands you people he just cant communicate that he does. (not towards anyone here)

 

[CaliTerp07]

Preemptive as in say trick or treat for him when they answer the door, thank you after they give candy is what I meant xD

That--takes two seconds! Easy peasy.

 

[darkchild16]

My dog would never be running loose needing someone to train her, though (the way the teens in my old neighborhood were). I would not be putting her in a situation where she is going to be overwhelmed and scared or frustrated.

I KNOW that taking Lucy to the un-fenced, off leash park in the middle of downtown is setting her up for disaster--so I don't take her. Just like I wouldn't take a child who is likely to become stressed and freaked out trick-or-treating. We'd go to Grandma's house or I'd ask the next door neighbor if we could come by, or we'd go to church or the mall trick or treat, or we would just carve pumpkins inside and not go out.

You can absolutely raise your child however you like--but you have to be aware that other people who come into contact with your child are going to react a certain way. Just like I can have a dog who jumps up on people and be fine with that, but I can't get mad if she jumps up on someone and they push her away or tell her no. I should have trained that out of her.

I was talking about how Jess said she teaches them.

My other child who doesnt have issues does say it just he doesnt and yeah Im going to get mad if someone tries to push him if others say it for him. We have enough struggles then other people thinking its ok to parent strangers kids.

 

[Danefied]

But...what a teachable moment! Those are the kind of things teachers are constantly looking for!

My teachable moments are my classes handing out candy to the special ed kids, and my own personal kids donating the candy they don’t eat to the safe home.

Its been said if I don't like it, I don't have to participate.
Well, if you don't like your kids having to say please and thank you, you don't have to participate. It goes both ways.

Maybe that’s the problem. I never did trick-o-treat as a kid. I don’t know all these age rules and baby rules and in costume or not rules.
Is it okay that I’ve worn the same orange shirt with bats on it and pumpkin antennae headband for the last 3 years or am I being unappreciative of the spirit of halloween by not trying harder to dress appropriately?

FWIW, my own kids are very good about saying thank you. That’s never been a problem for them, even when they were toddlers saying “taku". They have plenty of other things they do that I’m sure drive the parent police batty, but they’ve got please and thank you down.

Hes 2. I shouldnt have to tell everyone we come across oh hes autistic and non verbal. I dont tell you how to parent dont tell me how to or try to parent MY child. (general you obviously)

No silly, you should just not participate because your child obviously isn’t worthy of receiving free candy if he can’t say thank you.

 

[JessLough]

ohhhh i said that I do that, hence where I got confused LOL.

Youd be shocked by the amount of people who get mad about ME answering for him like that. Its gotten to where we just get them on cookie at the grocery store to split because the employees got pissy that HE didnt say thank you and told him he was rude. I ended up with a black eye that trip from his melt down. He understands you people he just cant communicate that he does. (not towards anyone here)

Obviously you should just make a sign to stick on him whenever you go out.












(I'm obviously kidding )

 

[darkchild16]

Obviously you should just make a sign to stick on him whenever you go out.












(I'm obviously kidding )

Ive thought about printing these cards I found to take out and give to asshats. I'm really sick of getting hurt or Morgan hurting himself or getting dirty looks because hes crying because other people cant stick to parenting their own kids.

 

[yoko]

Youd be shocked by the amount of people who get mad about ME answering for him like that. Its gotten to where we just get them on cookie at the grocery store to split because the employees got pissy that HE didnt say thank you and told him he was rude. I ended up with a black eye that trip from his melt down. He understands you people he just cant communicate that he does. (not towards anyone here)

And that's what I get. I've had to go my whole life understanding people but not knowing how to communicate/react appropriately.

Unfortunately because I'm the one in the house no one cares if I have any issues. And while you *general not anyone here* may have issues with people not being understanding to your situation the same goes for the person handing out candy.

If you don't say thank you *you being child or parent* I don't know is this conversation/interaction done? Can I close the door? What if I cut you off because you weren't done is that rude? If you don't say thank you I don't know if I acted correctly. Did I say the right thing? Did I act excited or happy enough?

I get you want people to turn a blind eye because your child may have issues and it's difficult to deal with but it's the exact same for people on the other side. You can preach being understanding all you like but if you aren't acting the same to the people on the other side nothings going to change for the better for your child or for that other person.

tl;dr
Saying thank you for your child can go a long way.

 

[Jules]

I don' t care if a parent says thank you for the child... And it's not like I make a scene if I don't get a thank you at all... It's just common courtesy. The good candy isn't exactly cheap, and we easily spend $50 for the amount of people we get.

So, just say thank you if your child doesn't. I am sorry people are still being butts to you, Breeze.

 

[darkchild16]

And that's what I get. I've had to go my whole life understanding people but not knowing how to communicate/react appropriately.

Unfortunately because I'm the one in the house no one cares if I have any issues. And while you *general not anyone here* may have issues with people not being understanding to your situation the same goes for the person handing out candy.

If you don't say thank you *you being child or parent* I don't know is this conversation/interaction done? Can I close the door? What if I cut you off because you weren't done is that rude? If you don't say thank you I don't know if I acted correctly. Did I say the right thing? Did I act excited or happy enough?

I get you want people to turn a blind eye because your child may have issues and it's difficult to deal with but it's the exact same for people on the other side. You can preach being understanding all you like but if you aren't acting the same to the people on the other side nothings going to change for the better for your child or for that other person.

tl;dr
Saying thank you for your child can go a long way.

Jeremy has that issue too. I cant tell you how many times Ive had to tell him its ok to stop ______ or a nudge.