Sh*t people say

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by RD, Jan 20, 2012.

  1. lizzybeth727

    lizzybeth727 New Member

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    :hail:

    My favorite one as a social worker, "You don't even HAVE kids, what gives you the right to tell me how to raise MINE??" Uh, seriously, I'm pretty sure even people WITH kids will tell you that sexually assaulting them is WRONG.
     
  2. PWCorgi

    PWCorgi Priscilla Winifred Corgi

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    My personal favorites with Frodo:

    (after telling them that he isn't good with strangers)
    "Oh, he'll like me!"
    "I'm a dog person and they can tell!"
    "But all dogs like me!"
    "Awww, was he abused?" *pouty sad face*
    "That's too bad, he's so cute!"
     
  3. LauraLeigh

    LauraLeigh New Member

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    "I pay your wages!!!!!!"

    Usually in response to being caught dumping hazardous materials into the landfill, or some other thing equally wrong, that I should simply ignore because as taxpayers they "Pay my wages" well, I am a taxpayer too.... One who does not want to shell out thousands upon thoudands of dollars to clean contamination up, never mind the damage to the environment!!!

    The worst of it is, we run FREE hazardous waste disposal days twice a month at each site... So it's not like they have to jump through hoops or pay to properly dispose of the stuff!!!

    Honest to God, some day I am going to snap back and say "Really? Well how about a raise then!!!" but that would only get me in trouble, instead I tow the line with the bland responses that I am trained to give....
     
  4. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    Ahh yes, the age old "do you have kids?".

    Nope. I don't need to know what hard work it is having them to understand they need feeding on a regular basis and not to watch you kick the sh!t out of each other....
     
  5. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    OH, one of my FAVORITES :rolleyes: I got way too often when working criminal defense: "that's not what my cellmate told me the law was/I should do/I could do."

    And then there was the pro-bono client who recounted to me how, when he was being interrogated and told by the cops that he was going to face the death penalty for shooting a guy while robbing him, he told them "I wasn't robbing him, he'd already paid me all the cash he had for the 8 ball I sold him." BTW, there were all sorts of bullets flying in that one, including from the gun of the guy who caught one. The security videos showed the shooter the cops wanted to say was our guy -- right handed. Our guy was left-handed. Lots of stupid to go around in THAT case.
     
  6. Zoom

    Zoom Twin 2.0

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    "Why are you not married? Have you been divorced? No one as pretty as you could still be single! Why don't you have kids yet?" :wall: :wall:

    And my all-time favorite "How's the weather down there?"
     
  7. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    All of the above, with one difference, "how's the weather UP there."

    Oh, yah, and "is it true what they say about redheads?"

    Still, those service dog ones top all of ours for pure ignoramus obnoxiousness. :( :wall:
     
  8. lizzybeth727

    lizzybeth727 New Member

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    When I graduated college, I had so many conversations that went like this:

    Person: "What's your degree in?"

    Me: "Psychology."

    Person: "Do you have a job lined up yet?"

    Me: "Yes, I'm a dog trainer."

    Person: "When are you going to get a job where you'll use your degree?"

    :wall:

    Me: "Actually, I'm using my degree right now in this conversation." ;)
     
  9. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    Okay. This is just random stupidness posted on a FB convo but :wall:

     
  10. eddieq

    eddieq Silence! I ban you! Staff Member

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    Upon finding out that I'm a dba/sysadmin/tech support type person:

    "I think I got a virus"
    "Do you know where my icons went?"
    "I think I need more RAM. Is that easy?"
    "My computer was slow, so I figured I needed more memory and started deleting files I don't use. I must have triggered a virus because it won't boot now." (Yes, I've heard this one more than once)
    "Which wireless modem should I buy?"
    "This program I bought isn't working right? Do you know what's wrong?"
    etc...

    A former choir director of mine posted this on facebook and it made me laugh...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3HZ4UM5uts
     
  11. AliciaD

    AliciaD On second thought...

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    I freaking love Charlie. LOOOOOOOOVE him.

    I always tell people that if my tattoos are my biggest regret, then I lived a pretty good life.

    "Can you be less gay? Like, just for a little while? Just don't flaunt if because... well, you know..."
    No problem, I'll just tell my date to forget about it.

    "Your veganism is a choice, you shouldn't force it on people."
    You are absolutely right, it is a choice, but my choosing to bring a vegan side dish is not me forcing it on you. Apples are vegan, do you not eat apples?

    "Your dad/brother/uncle/relative is a weirdo/screw up/freak/poser."
    What, what, and more what? Why are you telling me this? I don't give a rats ass what you think of them. It's not because I like them more than you, it's because this comment is so totally out of place and disrespectful, and puts me in an awkward position. We are not so close that you can say sh!t like this.

    EDIT:

    "Is it your time of the month?"
    One day I just want to be like "I was born without a uterus asshole!!" My emotional state is not dependent on my period. I know some women do have serious hormonal/emotional issues with their period, but I do not. And when I kick you in the ass, it's not because I'm "riding the crimson wave" it's because you are a ****tard.

    Also, jokes that a female President couldn't do the job right because she'd be deploying nukes once a month will get you strangled.

    Drew Peterson talking about his wife asking for a divorce because of her menstrual cycle. I wanted to kill him. What an effed up thing to say.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2012
  12. ravennr

    ravennr ಥ⌣ಥ

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    Getting more into specifics, my grandmother and a few other family members really like to tell me this about my father regarding his near-death and now-constant-recovery:

    "You know it was bound to happen, he brought it on himself....you know he almost didn't wake up right? Oh he just looked terrible. We were prepared for him to die that's how bad it was. He should've been a better father to you"

    SHUT UP with that! WHY would you tell that to someone's daughter?!
    My dad is always harping on me when I call him, telling me to call my grandmother and whoever else, and I just say okay. Really, in my head, I'm saying 'I get it, but I really get tired of hearing your own family talk sh*t about you through the entire conversation so please let me just mentally prepare myself with a thick barricade before dialing that number'.

    Whatever possesses them to say things like that to me, they need to have it exorcised.
     
  13. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    person: "What do you do?"

    me? "what do you mean, what do I do?" (I hate the singular equating what you do with a job) I do lots of things.

    person: "where do you work?"

    Me: "I'm retired...was a dog trainer, but now I've just moved here and haven't decided if I'll set something up."

    Person: "You're retired????(incredulously) You're too young to be retired. How do you live?" :eek:

    okay, by this time, they're really getting on my nerves with nosiness.

    me: "I invest, don't incur debt, and live off my fat."

    Why is it everyone's business how I make a living right down to the nitty gritty? Why don't they ask me what my hobbies are or what I do for recreation? Sheesh!:rolleyes:

    Another thing is people who ask how much I spent on something. A little of that, I can tolerate, depending on their motives. But just to find out what I spend, what I earn, how I manage etc...I hate that. It's so low class!
     
  14. yoko

    yoko New Member

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    I'm an adopted Korean. I was adopted into a white family so it was an interracial/overseas adoption. I was adopted at four months old and so were both of my brothers.

    I am constantly asked:
    Do you speak Korean?
    No I came over when I was four months old.

    What's it like to be adopted?
    I don't know what's it like to know you popped out of the vagina of the one you call mom?

    When did you find out you were adopted?
    Well seeing as my parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins/great grandparents/etc all aren't asian it was pretty young. It's not really something that could be hidden.

    Do your parents love you just as much even though you were adopted?
    Of course they do. Do you dislike your nieces and nephews because you didn't pop them out? Something doesn't have to grow in your body and then be removed 9 months later to care about it.

    Do you want to meet your real family?
    I know my real family. My adoptive parents are the only ones I have ever known and I don't have any desire to see or meet the people who committed the act for me to be born. I have no emotional connection to them or to Korean.

    I don't get you. If I was adopted I would want to know my birth family.
    Honestly my birth family hasn't done much for me aside from not aborting me. And I find it kind of hard for someone who hasn't been adopted to understand everything that goes through with being raised by one family but being birthed in another. Some people do want to hunt down family. But I'm honestly happier not knowing if I have siblings they kept after giving me away, I'm happier not knowing who they are, or the circumstances of my birth/adoption.

    I have a lot of friends who are adopted. And quite a few of them have met their birth families. Maybe 1 out of 15 ended up with them being kind of satisfied. One of my friends was repeatedly raped while in the system and found out that the parents didn't keep her just because they couldn't get any more tax breaks from a kid. Another found out she was conceived in jail because her mom wanted cigarettes and was given up because her mom wanted a nicer apartment instead of paying for another kid.

    So while I respect people who adopt I don't feel even they can honestly say 'I would do this if I were adopted' because there is a lot of stuff that isn't ever vocalized and hidden by people who are adopted. Even happy adoptions into great families have issues adopters and non-adopted people will never understand and I think they are ignorant to comment on it.
     
  15. AliciaD

    AliciaD On second thought...

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    yoko, I feel so much of what you are saying. When I tell people I want to foster/adopt kids I get the...

    "Why don't you want real kids?"
    -Are you saying that my future foster/adopt kids aren't real? Are they a figment of my imagination?

    "No, like why don't you want to have a real baby, a biological baby?"
    -I can honestly say that the idea of pregnancy totally freaks me out, not just giving birth, but being pregnant. And I want older kids. I don't want a baby.

    "Everyone is like that, you'll change your mind eventually, you'll have kids."
    -I'd rather be skinned alive and rolled in sh!t. (Thanks goes to my Sociology prof who came up with that one.)

    I watch this show, Switched at Birth, and I mostly watch it for the deaf community in it, but it's about babies who were, dun dun dun, switched at birth (they are now teenagers). The most annoying thing ever is how they idealize their birth parents and the lives they could have had. It's ridiculous. And when they find out one of the moms knew for 13 years that her daughter wasn't bio, and didn't tell anyone, they flipped out on her.

    Sorry, but if I stayed up all night caring for a child, if I took this child to day care, if I taught her everything she knows, if I made gifts for her, if I played with her, if I thought about her every minute of every day for 3 years (or however long) I would not trade her because of DNA. Kudos to people who form relationships with their bio parents, but if/when I foster/adopt I will not tolerate the sort of ridiculous comments I hear that put DNA on a pedestal above all else.

    And the fact that people can't comprehend the Asian American is a whole other can of worms.
     
  16. lizzybeth727

    lizzybeth727 New Member

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    OMG I hate that too.

    Because for one thing, people can have a bad day even when they're not hormonal. And for another thing, I KNOW when I'm hormonal and I take special care to be nice those days.

    I hate most songs by Katie Perry, but the worst one is "Hot and Cold." Because she insults the guy TWICE in the first two lines by calling him a girl. "You change your mind like a girl changes clothes, and you PMS like a b*tch I know." Why not just say, "I hate you because you're a girl." Seriously?
     
  17. Zoom

    Zoom Twin 2.0

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    What a lot of people don't realize is that PMS just gives many women the courage (and short fuse) to say what's really on their mind, instead of hiding behind expectations and niceties.

    You know that saying "There's truth in wine"? It's the same for PMS. ;)
     
  18. Dakotah

    Dakotah Kotah BEAR

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    WAIT a minute... Your tongue is pierced?! :lol-sign:
    I think that's hot, though I might be bias since TJ has his done and man oh man... ok I'll stop lol.

    I think people saying stuff about you (or anyone's) ethnicity, is kind of rude.
    I'm white. White as snow and paste. And when people ask me about having kids, I tell them if for some reason I cannot have kids (lots of problems in the family that seem to be hereditary) I tell them I want to adopt a mixed baby.
    Let me tell you, the looks I get makes me want to punch people.

    Then I get asked "Well how would your boyfriend like that? He doesn't seem like the kind of guy to want to adopt a mixed child, he must not tell you he is racist."
    That right there makes me snap. TJ is a country/redneck guy, he looks like it and makes it known. But because of that he is automatically racists. Stupid @ss people.

    Oh when Bear was alive, I always got asked what mixed he was. I would say he is a Scottish Terrier, not a mix. I actually had a woman YELL at me and CUSS at me because SHE was convinced Bear was a mix. I walked away. She was irritating me.
     
  19. Red.Apricot

    Red.Apricot Active Member

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    Why are you so skinny?
    You study biology? You want to be a doctor? No? Dentist? Vet? What then?
    You work in an evolution lab? How could you even study that?
    Aren't guppies just baby fish?
    You study science--why don't people have hover-boards yet?
    Doesn't your boyfriend hate your hair short like that?
    Why aren't you married yet?
    You're too young to have been dating 6 years!
    You're way too young to get married!
    But won't your boyfriend want babies?
    Bisexual? That's so hot! Does your boyfriend get jealous?
    Doesn't sitting like that hurt?
    You have a disease? Just take ______, it cures everything!
    Your boyfriend does all the cooking? He's like the woman!
    Doesn't it bother your parents that you're living with him/dating someone of a different race?
     
  20. CharlieDog

    CharlieDog Rude and Not Ginger

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    Holy sh*t you could be me. Except I'm already married, so they dont ask when I'm getting married, but when are we having children.


    (Try never.)
     

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