Roommate etiquitte?

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by StephyMei1112, Dec 8, 2012.

  1. smkie

    smkie pointer/labrador/terrier Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    55,145
    Likes Received:
    35
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Headphones or extra pillows. If I had to have a room mate then I would just tolerate this part of it. Being stuck with all the rent and utilities, would be worse.
     
  2. SevenSins

    SevenSins Guest

    Do I think it's OK at 3am? Yep. Why would you move in with someone who has a night schedule and a girlfriend, and act surprised when they make noise at night?

    I'm also very surprised that a tenant...or (especially) an apartment manager would allow you to sign a lease when you have no verifiable employment or proof that you have enough in savings to cover expenses for the duration of the lease. :confused:
     
  3. StephyMei1112

    StephyMei1112 Blackout

    Joined:
    May 19, 2012
    Messages:
    922
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    The dog is an equal - but I've had alot of bfs...
    Location:
    No fixed abode.
    To each their own then...
     
  4. milos_mommy

    milos_mommy Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2006
    Messages:
    15,348
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    If you're paying half the rent I would approach it by saying "is it ok if we establish some quiet hours during the week?". It's not unreasonable for him to be up until 3 giggling with his girlfriend on Friday night, but all week and its going to get old fast. Ask him if he minds keeping it down on nights you have work early and in turn offer to go out and give them some privacy one night.

    Also, if they're blasting music and cackling at 3am, that's uncalled for. If they're watching a movie at a low volume or talking quietly, you need to suck it up. Ear plugs, eye mask, welcome to sharing a studio
     
  5. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2003
    Messages:
    94,266
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    3, Bimmer, GSDX (m); Kharma, Fila Brasileiro (f);
    Location:
    Where the selas blooms
    Home Page:
    One thing, too, is if they're making enough noise at 3 a.m. that it seeps through the walls the other tenants in the adjoining apartments are bound to start complaining, and that puts both of you in a situation with the landlord, so that might be a way to approach it.

    You're both getting equal benefit from the space and you being there, since you're paying half, so consideration is due as a matter of course.

    With the extra money he's saving by your paying half the rent and utilities, he could be taking his girlfriend out a lot more. Wonder if she's realized that yet ;)
     
  6. AdrianneIsabel

    AdrianneIsabel Glutton for Crazy

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2010
    Messages:
    8,893
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 Pit bulls and 2 Malinois, We like to stay busy.
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Home Page:
    Yeah, it's very hard to get an apartment with no stable income.

    We needed 400-600 credit score, income proof, and a 400$ security deposit(higher with lower credit) plus 500 for our dogs. Then we are locked in for 3 months (shortest we could find). We were begging to crash and pay rent anywhere but no one let us, I think you're lucky.
     
  7. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

    Joined:
    May 31, 2012
    Messages:
    4,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    2
    Location:
    Gillett/Flower Mound TX

    If guests/roommates are present I consider it PDA, genteel PDA is cute (holding hands, the cutesy smooch, hugging etc ...) but the way she is explaining it (groping, giggling, "spooning") no I don't think that is appropriate when someone else is present in the home ... If they are by themselves then by all means GTT (go to town).

    That's all I was saying ... If its making someone else UNCOMFORTABLE then no it becomes not ok.
     
  8. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2008
    Messages:
    5,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, and 1 horse
    Location:
    A hole in the bottom of the sea.
    It's not a PDA when you are in your own house. If they were bending over the counter having sex while preparing breakfast I could see that being an issue, but cook spooning...eh.

    I have a work bench next to a woman who was born in Korea and came to the US as a young woman, and deal with a language barrier on a daily basis with her. The more you talk with her though the better you will get at understanding what she is trying to say. Is "Sun" short for something do you know (I'm curious because my co-worker has a longer name that she shortens to "Sunny" or "Sun")?

    I might ask about quiet hours or something. Does he work nights? When I worked 4 pm-12 am it was very common for me to be doing stuff at 3 am, because I was just up then. However, realize that you are sharing a studio apartment and are frankly lucky to have the roof over your head. If he doesn't seem receptive to quiet hours I'd let it go, at least until I had a day job and could actually say that I had to be up the next morning for something.
     
  9. MilliesMom

    MilliesMom Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2012
    Messages:
    374
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Location:
    Canada
    And if the definition of Studio IS "one big-tush room and a bathroom", being in the kitchen area might just be as private as they can get, short of tying up the bathroom for God-knows-how-long (and the germophobe part of me is shrieking "EWW! EWW! EWWWWW!!!!")
     
  10. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2003
    Messages:
    94,266
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    3, Bimmer, GSDX (m); Kharma, Fila Brasileiro (f);
    Location:
    Where the selas blooms
    Home Page:
    Seems like the crux of this is "sharing" and "paying half."

    There is some consideration that comes with that. If someone's just crashing and isn't contributing rent and utilities, then no, they don't get much expectation.
     
  11. Sweet72947

    Sweet72947 Squishy face

    Joined:
    May 18, 2006
    Messages:
    9,158
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    1 Dog, Norris!
    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    Home Page:
    I'm sort of amused by how bothered you are by the "PDA". I live with a married couple, and not only do I see "PDA" on a daily basis, ever rare now and again I hear other certain activities taking place. XD Sometimes when you live with people you just have to deal with annoying things. :p
     
  12. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

    Joined:
    May 16, 2009
    Messages:
    13,402
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Kennel Manager
    Location:
    Guelph, Ontario
    Well, you said you're awake at 3am.... would you rather them do it when you're trying to sleep?
     
  13. AdrianneIsabel

    AdrianneIsabel Glutton for Crazy

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2010
    Messages:
    8,893
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 Pit bulls and 2 Malinois, We like to stay busy.
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Home Page:
    Yes, that's why most people pay their dues, grow up, and seclude themselves like hermits with only spouses and children to argue with. lol we don't love the elevated costs after living with five people and then one but living with none is so worth it now. :p
     
  14. noludoru

    noludoru Bored Now.

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2006
    Messages:
    17,830
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Occupation:
    1 Dog
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Home Page:
    Exactly. You need credit history- without it you will be denied. Period. You need proof of income as well. And they require application fees and deposits per person in this area. Even though I had proof of income well above the national average, I had to have a cosigner with a well-established credit history to get my apartment.

    Since I don't know how the apartment market is in Stephy's exact location, I'm not going to immediately assume this is a falsehood. . . perhaps just another chapter in an increasingly far-fetched tale.

    The only definition of a studio apartment is just that. . . a studio. Which you'd know if you went apartment shopping. It's not like there's another definition of "studio" to mix it up with.

     
  15. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2003
    Messages:
    94,266
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    3, Bimmer, GSDX (m); Kharma, Fila Brasileiro (f);
    Location:
    Where the selas blooms
    Home Page:
    It varies.

    If renting required all that here most of the rentals would be empty.

    Here you don't even need an indication that you're in the country legally in many instances.
     
  16. AdrianneIsabel

    AdrianneIsabel Glutton for Crazy

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2010
    Messages:
    8,893
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 Pit bulls and 2 Malinois, We like to stay busy.
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Home Page:
    I'm not sure where being legal is ever an issue, provide I.D. and a job history, which you can as a nonresident, and a credit score, plus deposits, etc and you're golden.

    Point being, if its easy, why share?
     
  17. sassafras

    sassafras mushinois

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    6,405
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Location:
    Minnesota
    Why can't you just talk to your roommate about it? Sitting and stewing about it isn't going to solve anything.
     
  18. MilliesMom

    MilliesMom Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2012
    Messages:
    374
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Location:
    Canada
    You got me, I'm Canadian and I haven't shopped for an apartment for over 20 years. Never heard of a bachelor apartment being called a studio. Sounds like something a landlord would call it to up the rent a few bucks.

    Huh, learn something new every day, I guess.

    In the end they're sharing a room. She's his girlfriend, she's not going away. It will never be quiet enough or private enough.
     
  19. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2008
    Messages:
    5,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, and 1 horse
    Location:
    A hole in the bottom of the sea.
    It really depends on the rental and WHO you are renting from here. Often a private landlord is less strict than a complex, and with the complex it varies as to the scale of the complex. The lower income apartments are often much less strict than the more upscale ones.
     
  20. Lyzelle

    Lyzelle New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2012
    Messages:
    2,826
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    This, and vice versa in some cases, too. When we first moved here we tried getting into several lower income apartments. We were denied because we "made too much money". We ended up paying around $700 for a one bedroom + utilities and no parking. Not to mention it wasn't exactly a well-kept apartment. Spiders, ants, broken windows, etc. They didn't want anything from us other than a very easy to pass credit check.

    Totally depends on the area.
     

Share This Page