Reasons dogs don't use computers * Can't stick their heads out of Windows '98. * Fetch command not available on all platforms. * Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side. * Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit. * Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail." * Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating. * Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.chazhound.com instead of working. * Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee. * Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver. * Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging. * Waiting for the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb. * Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome * 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand... * Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software. * Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manuever. * Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg. * Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms. * TpO HAqRD TO TgYPE WITyH PAzWS.