Pictures of people who mock me

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by stafinois, Apr 24, 2013.

  1. stafinois

    stafinois Professional Nerd

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  2. Paige

    Paige Let it be

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    Good for her. This actually drives me nuts when I hear people doing this. I actually see it MOSTLY from other women comparing themselves. Like oh, I may be fat but at least I am not THAT fat. Shut up your face. GRR
     
  3. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    I think it's a great project and does help keep people liable for how they interact with other human beings.

    BUT while I agree that thin privilege and the hate women feel for their bodies and eachother is a serious issue and I do feel that in some of those pictures,people were being truly awful.
    I also, as someone who lives in the city and walks around a lot, think that a lot of those people were just looking up and walking..and I don't really think those people deserve to be featured without their permission in such a public forum.

    [​IMG]
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    That said, I have no idea how much hate or what she feels walking around in public and who am I to say these people weren't looking at her in a certain way or the picture didn't hold more of a story.

    My feelings about the project are mostly good, and I do think it's an important issue
    ..but I also feel there are some innocent bystanders in those photos.
    but who knows.

    Either way, it's a great project.

    EDIT AGAIN:
    I think part of my uncomfortableness with the whole thing honestly is just me facing my privilege on this issue..
    Maybe she is that mocked in her everyday life, maybe there is more to those pictures than we can see..
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2013
  4. Beanie

    Beanie Clicker Cult Coordinator

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    Honestly, I expected the photos in the article to be... self-portraits.
    And after reading the article and looking at the pictures I don't think my first gut reaction was incorrect.

    Here's more photos:
    http://haleymorriscafiero.com/

    I know she claims in the article to not be able to guess what people are thinking but by calling them photos of people who mock me it sounds like she is guessing what they're thinking. A photo of a guy in sunglasses glancing at her as she stands there taking a photo is automatically a guy mocking her..?
    It makes me really sad that she looks at these photos and the immediate impression she gets is "these people are mocking me."
     
  5. Paige

    Paige Let it be

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    Yeah not al those photos look like mockery. Just people's normal faces looking in her direcyion
     
  6. OwnedByBCs

    OwnedByBCs Will Creep For Sheep

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    The blog caused me to be a little emotional, I am also "fat" and I know what it is like to be in her shoes. I have always thought I was confident, but when my social anxiety became more apparent to me, I realized that while I am ok with how I look, I assume other people are not, and that actually makes me really uncomfortable. So it is a false sort of confidence. I don't feel that I should have to change my appearance to be happy (I am healthy, despite my weight.) but I wish I could change how people perceive me.

    How about we all just start judging people based on their character, and not by their appearance?
     
  7. release the hounds

    release the hounds Active Member

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    I hope she feels like she says she does, in the way these things don't bother her and she is happy with herself. But really, I don't see what she's seeing in those pictures. They may very well be, but one thing I've learned is that a photo, that snapshot in time can be made to mean about anything with the right caption.

    I see pictures of people gazing in her direction with facial expressions. I think we could all gather a few pictures like that if we took enough of them. Slapping a belly? I've actually run across more than one person doing that.

    If I saw a sequence of shots where people are obviously mocking, I might change my opinion, but for now? I think she's seeing what she wants to see in those photos.
     
  8. Airn

    Airn New Member

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    I feel like a lot of people over-estimate what other people think of them. You are usually your own worst critic. Some people are probably mean to her, sure, but... some people are mean to everyone. Some people are simply just mean.

    I don't see most of these people disgusted by an overweight person in their path.

    Most people don't care about anyone they pass on a busy street. They might have been lost in their own thoughts or looking at someone/thing else.

    It seems to me she cares more about what people think about her than she cares to admit.

    I can't imagine that many people care. She's over-weight, yes. But she's not so over-weight that she would win any awards.

    I feel bad that she is struggling with her illness, but I am not seeing what she, apparently, sees.
     
  9. Laurelin

    Laurelin I'm All Ears

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    My thoughts too.
     
  10. Equinox

    Equinox Active Member

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    Yes, yes, and yes. Absolutely agree and am glad that others have said this in better words than I could manage.

    In this context, ANY sideways glance could be seen as "judgemental". I could have easily been one of those people pictured "mocking" her because my eyes stray like crazy. Seriously. Whether I am holding a conversation or simply walking down the street, my eyes are practically darting everywhere and looking at everything. I will probably glance at every single person within five feet of me, and I sincerely hope that no one thinks I'm judging them by that glance.

    Additionally, if I saw a camera set up on a tripod (or being held by a photographer) and someone standing in front of that camera, my eyes would be naturally drawn in that direction. If I just happened to be looking to see what was going on, and was not consciously putting a smile on my face, then maybe my expression could be interpreted as mockery as well. And I do find that a little unfair.

    I do think it's an interesting idea for a project and I am glad that her photos have helped others feel more comfortable about their body. However, I don't really agree with her analysis of the people around her at all.

    ETA: For example, this photo? There could be a million reasons behind the child's expression:

    [​IMG]
     
  11. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    I think some of it may be something that you had to be present in the moment to fully appreciate. For example, maybe she heard things being said around her when the pics were being shot. But no, not all of the photos appear mocking.

    I think that this is an important issue to draw attention to--fat people, especially women, are one of the only groups left that it's socially acceptable to make fun of. A good example would be the "People of Walmart" pics in the breast feeding thread (interestingly enough a thread that was about women being able to feel comfortable with their bodies). If the women in those pics were 105 lbs, they likely would not have made it on the "People of Walmart" site.

    Honestly, I think it's inspiring.
     
  12. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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    This

    I would LOVE to feel confident enough to just wear whatever, f u if you dont like it. Sadly, I am not.
     
  13. Zhucca

    Zhucca Lab Love

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    I agree with most posters who say she is assuming they're thinking badly of her. Sure, some might be, but I doubt the majority are even given her a second thought as they pass by her.


    What is 'thin priviledge'?
     
  14. Xandra

    Xandra Active Member

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    I'm fairly sure ALL of us give weird looks and ALL of us get weird looks.

    Even if they were looking at her and thinking about her weight, that doesn't mean that they were mocking her. I think most people notice people's appearances--body shape, clothing, attractiveness. Just because someone has a thought about you in their inner monologue or glances at you doesn't mean they're out to get you. And when people are looking about and thinking about random crap their faces aren't always splendidly composed lol.

    I mean, that's assuming these people are actually cognizant of the fact they are looking at this woman. Who knows what they're looking at (except in the last picture that Fran posted, looks like everybody's looking at a window display lol). They may be looking at her because they see a camera in her direction. Eh. You go out in public and people will look at you. Unless they are making mean comments or staring AT you (vs zoning out in your direction), there's not much point in speculating and worrying yourself about it.
     
  15. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    Thin privilege is a social phenomenon that exists as a function of fat stigma. It's basically the assumption in this culture that fat=bad and thin=good.

    Thin people are more likely to get a job, many over-weight people are not allowed to adopt children in certain cases, being over-weight has been a factor in losing parental-rights/custody battles, over-weight people are often not treated by doctors because their real ailments are dismissed as an issue about their weight, people make assumptions about overweight people and are portrayed that way in the media, things not being made to fit your body type (public transport seats, carnival rides, medical equipment) etc..

    It's basically the privileges and perks in this society we don't really notice but have because we are thin.

    This is NOT to say that thin people have it made or bad things don't happen to thin people.. just that there are privileges that we don't notice or feel.
     
  16. Zhucca

    Zhucca Lab Love

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    I don't really understand. It sounds like something made for people who cannot claim responsibility of their own life choices, and try to make thin people feel guilty about something they shouldn't be.

    Fat penalty seems like a better word for it.



    Oh my god, if this doesn't post I'm going to be mad. Chaz is being really screwy, I've tried to post this like 7 times.
     
  17. stafinois

    stafinois Professional Nerd

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    So, you think that everybody who is fat chooses to be that way?
     
  18. ThoseWordsAtBest

    ThoseWordsAtBest Wu-Tang Steph

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    This summarizes my thoughts. While I have no doubt she's suffered mocking from strangers in her life, unfortunately I'm sure every one has. The biggest take away from the photographer to me though is that it's pretty shitty people DO mock others- strangers!- and destroy their self esteem, so much so that regardless of what I see in these photos the photographer sees and feels these people are judging her even if they aren't.
     
  19. Zhucca

    Zhucca Lab Love

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    No, there are medical problems that contribute to weight gain. Like Thyroid issues, pcos, among others.

    I can't say I've actually personally come across someone with a legitimate health problem that makes them obese. Weight gain might be a symptom, but you can't say someone cannot control certain aspects of it with diet. You can't gain mass without eating excess food. I'd say most people are fat because of bad lifestyles. They eat the wrong things, and don't exercise. Most people choose to become fat, and remain fat by their poor decisions. If they're happy with that, so be it. If they're unhappy, which seems to be the case with the community spouting thin privilege, they should do something about it.

    I guess my problem with it is where does it stop? Smokers acceptance/non-smoker privilege, junkie acceptance/sober person privilege.


    This coming from a fat woman.
     
  20. Saeleofu

    Saeleofu Active Member

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    Disclaimer: *points to avatar*


    BUT, that said...I don't think these people are looking at her. They're in a freaking city. There are a million things to gawk at. There are even fat people everywhere. Why would all these people choose to look at HER?

    Honestly, it rubs me the wrong way. I'm fat, and I don't feel like people are looking at me everywhere I go (and if they are, it's more likely because I have a 70 pound dog next to me in unexpected places). I know this is worded terribly...but I think she seems rather narcissistic. Really, lady, people don't care. This isn't high school.



    Eh, if you're very hypothyroid, you can actually eat so little you have malnutrition while you're gaining weight. When Gavroche was at his worst, he at 1/2 a cup of food a day (for a 67 pound dog), and was still gaining. That's not "excess food" because there's no way he was getting all the nutrients he needed from that small amount of food.
     

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