Parents freeze their disabled daughter in time.

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by Dizzy, Mar 11, 2012.

  1. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2005
    Messages:
    17,761
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    Not enough.
    Location:
    Wales
    This is a very thought provoking story.

    www.independent.co.uk/news/world/am...on_types=news.reads&fb_source=other_multiline

    Opinion was divided yesterday about the case of Ashley X, the nine-year- old girl whom doctors have determined will never grow up. The severely disabled child has had her womb and breasts removed and hormone treatment to halt puberty and stunt her growth, freezing her development so that her parents can continue to lift and care for her at home.
     
  2. puppydog

    puppydog Tru evil has no pantyline

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2006
    Messages:
    7,500
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with it. The child is catatonic. It makes no difference to her at all yet it makes the world of difference to her parents.
     
  3. Kat09Tails

    Kat09Tails *Now with Snark*

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2010
    Messages:
    3,452
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    6 + finches
    Location:
    Upper Left hand corner, USA
    This was a local story a few years ago. I admit it was very controversial but IMO the best thing was done for that kid and her quality of life.
     
  4. ACooper

    ACooper Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2007
    Messages:
    27,771
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    IN
    This quote from the story sums it up for me:
    I honestly haven't a clue what I would do in that situation, and I sure don't want to speculate about what THEY should/shouldn't do. As a parent myself, I am sure they agonized over the decision for a long time before reaching it. My heart goes out to them.
     
  5. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2005
    Messages:
    17,761
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    Not enough.
    Location:
    Wales
    I am totally on the fence with it... But some part of me wonders how sure they were of her outcomes if she was so young at the time... I wonder what SHE would have wanted? I wonder if she had an advocate?
     
  6. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2008
    Messages:
    12,546
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Location:
    Boston
    I sure would like to say "Oh well if it was ME" but frankly, I have no legs to stand on when it comes to this story
    1. I am not a parent
    and
    2. I have no experience caring for anyone with that kind of disability

    that said, all the information provided is from the parent's blog so really, we have NO idea what really is going on/what doctors had been contacted/treatment/diagnosis.

    It does make sense for both the parents and Ashely X, if you look from a distance. Ashley gets to go more places, move around more, is more easily cared for by her parents vastly improving her quality of life.. and her parents are able to care for her much more easily.

    it's when you get closer..and really think about it. that this story hits a nerve... How do we know how Ashley X feels about this? Would she have done things differently? Is her brain TRULY static at the point of being a baby..or perhaps is there something deeper going on?

    When does somebody disabled loose the right to make things kind of decisions for themselves? where's the line?
    Is it when somebody can't talk? move? Is that what makes us people and give us the right to decide what is done medically to us?

    How much medically can be done to disabled people in the name of their care-takers before it goes from improvement quality of life to simply..cruel convenience?
     
  7. ACooper

    ACooper Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2007
    Messages:
    27,771
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    IN
    I wondered that as well........or at least someone to speak objectively.

    Man, I said it earlier but will repeat, I'm sure her parents agonized over this decision long and hard :(
     
  8. Baxter'smybaby

    Baxter'smybaby swimming upstream

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2007
    Messages:
    21,977
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    3 dogs
    Location:
    NY
    I am abstaining from a full commentary here--but just want to say I can see medical reasons for making such a decision--watching my daughter struggle with various stuff, and not being able to understand it, or even understand why she has pain, etc.--hard to watch and hard to know what to do to help. It all gets very complicated.
     
  9. SarahHound

    SarahHound New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2010
    Messages:
    3,120
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    13 - 3 dogs, 2 cats, 3 rabbits, 3 guinea pigs and
    Location:
    North West Scotland
    Wow, I didn't even know that was possible. I guess if they are willing then there is nothing wrong with that.
     
  10. smkie

    smkie pointer/labrador/terrier Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    55,166
    Likes Received:
    35
    Trophy Points:
    48
    agreed.
     
  11. puppydog

    puppydog Tru evil has no pantyline

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2006
    Messages:
    7,500
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Something just popped into my head. Its bad enough having to deal with the day to day care of an immobile person but now having to deal with a montly menstrual cycle? No way!
     
  12. sassafras

    sassafras mushinois

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    6,405
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Location:
    Minnesota
    Just because something happened to also be convenient for the parents, it doesn't mean they did it solely FOR the convenience.

    I can't even imagine being in their position, how heartbreaking and agonizing. Personally I think if they were acting purely out of selfish motives/for their own convenience, they'd just stick her in a care facility and be done with her. As it is, they're making an effort to keep her with them and be able to do as many things as possible with her. I just can't see how that's a bad thing.
     
  13. puppydog

    puppydog Tru evil has no pantyline

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2006
    Messages:
    7,500
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Very, very good point!
     
  14. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2003
    Messages:
    94,266
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    3, Bimmer, GSDX (m); Kharma, Fila Brasileiro (f);
    Location:
    Where the selas blooms
    Home Page:
    If anyone can truly comment on this it's Bax.

    I've seen various friends struggle through this with their children, male and female. I don't know what is going to happen when they can no longer care for their children.
     
  15. smkie

    smkie pointer/labrador/terrier Staff Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    55,166
    Likes Received:
    35
    Trophy Points:
    48
    I took care of women who were very much in the same situation as this child. THey were people that had no family to care for them and were in a nursing home type situation. There isn't a lot of love and understanding for the discomforts of a menstrual cycle and there is risk as well of abuse and pregnancy. I wouldn't ever want to be in such a place to have to make such a decision, but I sure would never try to judge anyone who is. They are being there for her in her physical care, which I am sure is over the top overwhelming and maybe concerned about her welfare if she becomes more than they can physically handle.
     
  16. Lilavati

    Lilavati Arbitrary and Capricious

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    7,644
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    Way too many!
    Location:
    Alexandria, VA
    Home Page:
    This.

    When I read about this story and the controversy it engendered, the primary accusation against the parents was that they were stripping the child of her human dignity for their own convenience.

    Whereas, if convenience were their concern, they wouldn't be spending their lives caring for this child and worrying about who will care for her when they are unable to. They'd just dump her in the cheapest care home they could find and be done with it. If this is what it takes to keep her in their home, under their care, for as long as possible, then it strikes me that this is the best thing for her.

    Living in her parents home, with those who care for her, is far more important to her dignity than full growth and sexual maturity. The alternative is that she will end up being treated like furniture much sooner when there is no choice but to place her in a home.
     

Share This Page