Parents and kids too........how do you feel about home drug/alcohol screening?

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by ACooper, Jul 14, 2010.

  1. ACooper

    ACooper Moderator

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    This is something me and a friend were talking about after seeing some news article relating to the subject.

    Think it's an invasion of privacy? Think it violates trust? Would you be upset with your parents if they wanted that kind of reassurance from you instead of just accepting your word? I know it's hard to believe, but some kids DO LIE about things like that.......even what most people and society call "good kids" are good at hiding that stuff ;)

    My thoughts:

    As a parent, if I asked my kids to let me screen them and they were like "Ok......whatever makes you happy" that would probably put my mind at ease and I probably wouldn't bother with the test.

    On the other hand, if they flipped out and started yelling about not trusting them blah blah blah.......it would probably make me think they had something to hide and would make me do the test immediately! *shrugs* Human nature I guess, LOL

    As a kid (back when I was one) I would have probably rolled my eyes but peed in the cup and let my mom have her way. I don't think it would have made me feel all warm and fuzzy knowing she wanted to, but I also had nothing to hide so it would get done and over with, relieve her mind and I could get on with my life, LOL

    So, what do you think?
     
  2. CaliTerp07

    CaliTerp07 New Member

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    I would have been really hurt if my parents asked for that. I was a good kid, and never gave them any reason to doubt that.

    If I had been staying out late, lying about who I was spending time with, etc...well, then fine, that's probably pretty good cause for concern. As it was though, if my parents had asked to test me, it really would have broken the trust in our relationship.
     
  3. Dekka

    Dekka Just try me..

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    I would have screamed and yelled an made a big production.. and I never did drugs etc as a teenager. (though my parents had IMO a very healthy view on drugs and alcohol and teenagers)
     
  4. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    I can tell you what that would do in a lot of the families I work with...

    Cause problems. Massive problems.

    So no, I wouldn't be for it.

    Educate your kids instead of screen them I say!
     
  5. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    As a teen I would have just taken the test. My mom asked me to do all kinds of things I didn't want to do like the dishes lol. Peeing in a cup wouldn't have been a big deal.

    I don't think I would ask them to do the test unless there was some suspicious behaviour going on. Kids are good at hiding it but there would be SOME sort of indication if you were really looking for it. I don't think I'd just randomly be like HEY pee in this cup would ya lol. But if I felt for some reason this might need to be done I would do it. Will the kid be upset? maybe. but kids are p!ssed off at their parents a lot of time and they'd get over it. I know I was mad at my mom from time to time because maybe I couldn't go to the sleep over or go out of town with a friend or whatever... thousands of different things that left me saying "DON'T YOU TRUST ME. I HATE YOU BLAH BLAH BLAH" and then I'd go slam the door.

    but yeah I think I would have to have a reason before I would think of doing it.
     
  6. ~Jessie~

    ~Jessie~ Chihuahua Power!

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    I would've been really upset had my parents handed me a cup to pee in.

    I was a really good kid and never gave my parents a reason not to trust me. It would've offended me but I'd end up doing it because I never had anything to hide. I would think less of my parents though, since I'd feel crappy they didn't trust me.

    I hope that it's something I'll never have to do as a parent... that's a really, really hard choice to make. I guess if my kid was caught with drugs in the past or gave me a REASON to run a test on them it would be something I'd consider.
     
  7. zoe08

    zoe08 New Member

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    I would only do it if my kid had been in serious trouble with drugs before.

    If my son gives me no reason to suspect he is doing any drugs or anything, I wouldn't expect him to take a drug test.
     
  8. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    How would you feel if your child requested you prove you didn't take drugs?

    Just out of curiosity :D
     
  9. Jules

    Jules Magic, motherf@%$*#!

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    All I can say it that my husband's parents drug him to get tested, even though he said he wasn't doing drugs, and when the first test came back negative, they went further and further with it because they didn't believe him.

    To this day, he has not forgiven them for it.
     
  10. xpaeanx

    xpaeanx Active Member

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    I'd be pissed, but would have gone along with it.

    My aunt did something similar, she had a rule that if she was supporting her kids after HS and paying for college etc, they had to accept random drug testing. If they didn't want to, they could provide for themselves.

    Now, she had good kids... it was no problem and they went along with it. But, I have another aunt whos kids are all on drugs and she REFUSES to believe "they would ever do anything like that." The only reason they bother me(if she wants to support them fully, bail them out of all their "mishaps" and by so doing support their drug habits not my problem) is that they've stolen from me and my dad multiple times in the past.
     
  11. ~Jessie~

    ~Jessie~ Chihuahua Power!

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    I'd laugh at them. My business as a parent is my own business.

    Your children are your responsibility as a parent.

    As a parent, you are their legal guardian and have the responsibility of raising them. Not the other way around.
     
  12. xpaeanx

    xpaeanx Active Member

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    well, if after a negative test they told me they still thought I was doing drugs and lying and then started going more and more into my personal space... yeah I wouldn't ever forgive that.

    Had it stopped at the test? then I would have just been like, happy now?
     
  13. InLimbo87

    InLimbo87 New Member

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    Unless you have a reason for distrust, I feel it unnecessary and detrimental to the relationship.

    Yes, kids lie (everyone does). Does this mean it's ok to polygraph?
     
  14. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

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    meh, my parents can test me whenever they want to, I would not care.
    However, they trust me and know that I would never do anything like that, so there is/was never the need.
     
  15. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    If I requested she do it and she requested that if she had to I should too... I'd be all for it. Lead by example I suppose :)
     
  16. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    well yes this is way out of line.

    If I had a reason I'd bring the test home. if the test was negative then it's negative. I wouldn't keep pushing and pushing and pushing. but if there was really something wrong that made me want to do the test in the first place I might take her to the doctors first before bringing home a test.

    I'd rather have my kid be mad at me then be DEAD because no one paid attention
     
  17. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    I asked how you would feel - not whether you would do it ;)

    It's all about how you view your relationship I feel.

    If the relationship is at the point you are requesting drugs tests - I'd say you need some kind of help to remedy that.

    It says a LOT.
     
  18. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    I don't think kids being on drugs has anything to do with a bad relationship with their parents.

    there are lots of kids with good parent child relationships who get into drugs and most kids aren't going to be like "hey mom I'm going out to get high because I got a bad grade and I'm depressed" that's not saying their relationship has failed.

    But yes I'd say if you have reason to honestly suspect drug use in your child... that child needs help to overcome that and you need help in ways to best help your child overcome that.
     
  19. ~Jessie~

    ~Jessie~ Chihuahua Power!

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    And like I said, drug testing will be a non issue unless there is ever a reason to do so.

    Part of the responsibility of being a parent is to keep your kids safe and healthy. I would never, ever, ever drug test unless there was a major reason I felt it necessary.

    And no, I wouldn't like it if my kids asked me if I did drugs, but honestly I'd think they were joking. I'm a very open and honest person, and drugs will be a topic of early conversation with my children. I want my kids to be the same way with me.
     
  20. HayleyMarie

    HayleyMarie Like a bat outa' hell

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    I would have been upset, My rents are very trusting of me and my brother and they know we are not stupid. I have never done drugs. Plus I know for a fact that my rents would have never asked that of me.

    My brother on the other hand has smoked pot and does ocasinally. Do my rents know? Yes and do they care? No not really. They trust him and they know he will never do anything hard. Plus they did it when they were his age and it was never a big deal. My rents are really easy going and laid back. But that does not mean they would put up with my brother being constantly high and doing hard drugs because they wouldnt.

    I think they might have made more of a big deal about it if he was doing it when he was younger, but we are both in out 20's.
     

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