Updates..............Daizy seems to be having good moments, and real bad moments. But the bad moments are more then the good. She is having a harder time eating, yet she can hide in the grass and stalk another puppy, springing at the exact time to tke the pup down that is twice her size. She is 100% with it in her mind. However she "pecks"at her feed and water. She marches with her front legs, high stepping it when she walks now constantly. And, when she has eaten, she is heavier, and it clearly show as her walking worsens. I have called the only board certified nuerologist in Fla for dogs(seems like it) I was told over the phone, no matter what they do, she cannot absolutly cannot be re wired. She can not be reversed, no damage can be reversed. She has Cerebral Palsy, not Bells, as Bells affects the mouth area. They can give her meds to keep her from walking so much, settle her down, and possibly SLOW the progression, but nothing can reverse it. And the severity of it right now, is too far to hold much more weight. The nuerologist said she COULD learn to compensate, but that is a long shot, as she has not learned or shown that she is learning to date, and has been walking for weeks now. She can swim and has every day, and she is fast and accurate in steering herself, but not on land. Picture standing on a boat, and all of a sudden the boat starts rocking real hard as youre trying to walk and you weave back and forth real far, this is what she does. I have heard her skull smack the ground so much,Im surprised she hasnt knocked herself out yet. 5 pups yeaterday hurt their same leg withing 15 minutes playing too rough, not stepping up the step out back, just crashing into it running so fast and trampling each other, yet here she comes, crashing just as hard, doesnt even phase her. She goes back for more. Her legs go in un natural positions everytime she falls. And when she eats, you think youre watching something out of a Poltergeist movie, her middle twists and turns and she does handstands and backflips, but she gets up for more. That is the hard part-she keeps coming back for more, and not slowing down. Shes so independant and tough, its pathetic. If I were as strong as her, it would be all I could hope for. And this is my rambling, because I KNOW what needs to be done, I just cant do it. The vet is on call, for when I get the balls, but I cannot. I just cant. Im pissed at myself, why would I have ever gone through with this??Why did I have to bring her here???Why did GOD send me this little angle??What did I do to deserve this?? Does Euth hurt??Will she "go" mad at me?? Will I see her again??? Will she understand?? Then, If I cant do it, will she hate me if a stranger takes her? Will she forgive me? Does she know?Can she sense what I am trying to do?Is her possibly knowing making her time left sad and confused? I cant do this people. Id rather take on her illness and die muself, I swear I would. Why couldnt God just take me with my old illness instead?Id gladly trade. Gladly. If she'd only get better. What if???What if she does come around??Thatd be great...what if I put her down and all the while she had a chance. If putting her down is so RIGHT why cant we do it to humans who deserve it at a time of crisis?? Sorry for rambling, I cant help it now. I feel cornered.