Next Door neighbour...AHHHH

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

I need some advice. I have recently installed a dog flap in my back door so that when I am in work shadow can go out into the back yard if she wants, rather than stay locked in my stuffy kitchen. I come home every lunch time to see her, but its for the times when I'm not there. (My garden is completely enclosed, by a 3-5ft wall all round, and I've tried as best as I can to amke it completely puppy proof.)

Yesterday I was talking to my next door neighbour who says she said that every day, her and her little boy play with shadow?? The little boy was quite happy to say that he throws a ball for her, and his mom says if she ever see shadows water bowl is empty she fills it with her hose pipe (I fill shadows outside bowl with fresh water ever day, but she has this annoying habit of picking up her outside water bowl and spilling the contents everywhere!!) I have no problem with her looking over the wall and giving her water.

They were havin a bbq at the time I was speaking to her and she said why dont I pop over the wall and then bring shadow over to see the kids. Ok I thought, so I clambered over te wall, quite some effort i must say, and my partner passed shadow over to me. She had a little run around, the kids all had a stroke of her, then she started going in the house, getting a bit excited, and the people at the bbq wanted to chuck her in the paddling pool! I was like "no way, time to go", I said my goodbye's and politely left.

My problem is, that my next door neighbour has offered to look after shadow when I'm in work. Thing is I'm really not comfortable doing this, shadow is still quite nippy and she has 2 small children, and I'm concerned she'll bite them, not nastily, but playfully, but it still hurts. I told my neighbour this and she was like "dont worry, thats not a problem, we wont mind that", also shadow is still only 11 weeks, and she still has a condition that the vets still haven't been able to diagnose (see my previous posts), also we all have different ways of training dogs, and I wont be able to control what is going on if my neighbour is dog sitting her.

My worry is that although I have told my neighbour, "no its ok, shadow will be fine for the moment, maybe when she's a bit older" I'm worried she's going to climb over the wall and take her, to look after her anyway, then just put her back once I'm due home from work. My next door neighbours sister-in-law has already told me (somewhat jokingly, though I cant be sure) "you better watch out, she may not be here when you come home, cos I'm gona steal her cos she's sooo beautiful!". What can I do?

 

[Babyblue5290]

I don't know what you can do, but it sounds like you need to be careful with them. Maybe they are just kidding, but it sounds a little....wierd. Like they might acctually try and steal your dog, so please be careful with them.

 

[Irish]

I don't blame you for being concerned. I don't think they would actually try to steal your dog but an overinvolved neighbor usually spells trouble. I would keep doing what you're doing, politely refusing her offers of "help". Keep stating that you and your dog are fine, her intervention is not needed. Hopefully, she will get the hint. Often times people like this are controllers and next thing you know, she's telling you how to run your life. If she keeps it up, you may have to go beyond polite refusals and be firm. Good luck, let us know how it works out!

 

[Renee750il]

Yeah, that would make me nervous too. She might really mean well, but she is being way too pushy. I'd try telling her that if something were to happen your homeowners' insurance wouldn't cover it and would be cancelled - which is entirely possible! Thank her for filling the water bowl and suggest she go to the local animal shelter and see about getting a pup of their own for her kids. And tell her that Shadow is under veterinary care right now and shouldn't be over-excited.

Good luck! I hope you don't end up having to keep Shadow in completely while you're gone during the day, but it might be best all around . . .

 

[luvmydogs]

i think u need to explain to her why. telling her that u want to raise your dog YOUR way and this would only cause confusion with 2 differrent techniques and 2 diff. people to raise a dog. maybe she will then understand. good luck. let us know how it turns out

 

[Renee750il]

Oh, and another thing to point out is that you don't want Shadow to get the idea that it's okay to leave his own yard. At some point that fence is going to be no real obstacle to a mature Staffie! He needs to learn right now that the only time he goes out of his yard is in your company on his leash . . .

 

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

Renee, I completely agree, Shadow right now is way too small to get over my wall, but if my neighbour leans over and picks her up?? I must admit, it would probably be quite a struggle, to lift sahdow over the wall, cos its quite high. Problem is because she's so friendly she'll go straight over to the bottom of the wall to see my neighbour. I was thinking of adding a fence to the top of my wall, but Im worried it'll be like adding a big neon flashing sign sayin "I dont want you near my dog, leave us alone!!" I worry too much about what other people think of me, thats my problem.

 

[Renee750il]

Add the fence and just tell your neighbor that you're doing it so that Shadow won't be able to get over it when she's grown. An adult Staffie is an athletic jumper! And even picking Shadow up and lifting her over the wall now will give her the idea later on that it's perfectly okay to go over the wall - not something you want her to figure out . . .

As long as you let your neighbor know you appreciate her kindness in filling Shadow's bowl and just explain those other points she shouldn't take offense if she's even marginally rational. If she's not, better you find out now than later!

 

[Summer Magic]

Another thing to consider. Is your dog "micro chipped" ? If not I'd recommend that you have it done, just check with your vet. We all know that most people are joking regarding "stealing" that adorable pup, but it does happen. With a chip you have a positive record of her belonging to you if she should ever turn up "missing" also if she ever gets out or lost there will be a record as to where she belongs.

 

[Fran27]

I would definitely add some height to the fence, but would probably leave the dog inside when you are gone too. But I admit I am extremely paranoid about people stealing my dogs.

 

[casablanca1]

Though I doubt your neighbor would steal your dog, it's better if she and her kids didn't go into your yard or play with him while you weren't around. It's putting your dog's life in the hands of people you don't know all that well, and have other priorities, like having fun with the neighbor's puppy or protecting her kids from a pit bull. Careless handling could give rise to future bad behavior on his part, or (worst case) an incident you didn't witness could endanger your dog's life if the neighbor or her kids get injured. I really wouldn't want other people playing with my young, impressionable dog, esp. a pit bull type, without my direct supervision.

I'd be direct, and tell her that Shadow loves to play, and loves her and her family, but you don't want any accidents to happen so please ask before coming over. If she protests, just tell her your insurance is an issue, especially because of Shadow's breed, and it's just so unfair but you know how it is...

 

[smkie]

at 11 weeks..your dog needs to be bonding with you not the neighbor..can u suggest they get a dog of their own politely? offer to help them find one that would be child friendly..be persistant and firm that you do not want your dog taken out of your yard, it is not safe for small children to play with a dog so young, they could hurt your puppy far more seriously then your puppy would ever hurt them,,inform them that your dog has plenty of water to drink inside,,or put a heavy weighted bowl outside that could not be tipped..better yet one of those things you attach to the faucet outside that allows the dog to lick it gettin fresh cold water at all times.

 

[Barb04]

I agree with everyone that as nice as your neighbor is being, you never want anything to happen that could jeopardize your puppy.

 

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

I found a ball in my garden yesterday that I've seen before that I thought my other next door neighbours kids might have accidentally thrown in. But I remember seeing it in the garden, then it dissapeared, I figured shadow had just hidden in somewhere, she does that a lot. Then I realised it must be the ball that my neighbours little boy metntioned throwing to shadow, thinking about it, she couldnt have hidden it any where cos its too big and its luminous orange, I would have seen it. So my neighbour must have come over my wall to retrieve it, then thrown it back in yesterday. She must have been in my back yard! Im appauled, I was worried she may do it, but in the back of my mind I figured she's a reasonable person, surely she wouldn't trespass into my back garden to play with my dog! But she must have! Arrrgghh! This is really bothering me! Im going to have to talk to her, I hate confrontation, especially with people who are older than me, who seem like proper grown ups (that sounds so sad) Im only 22, and I'm such a wimp. Im gona have to put up a fence. GGGRRRRRRR.

 

[Babyblue5290]

Maybe, if these people are so interested in a puppy, it is time for them to get a dog? I don't know them, but if they are so interested in playing with your puppy they should look into getting a dog themselves.

 

[SHADOW_THE_STAFF]

I think its probably the novelty factor of having a puupy, every wants to play with a puppy, but they dont think about the fact you have to feed them, clean up after them, stay up with them when they wont sleep, take them out, take them to the vets.....etc..This whole situation is really starting to bother me, luckily enough my partner is home today and tommorrow so he can make sure nothing happens. I've got to speak to them!

 

[Irish]

Good luck. Confrontation is hard but it will make your life SO much easier in the long run. It doesn't have to be bad, just be polite and firm like the previous posts said - there are a lot of reasons why she shouldn't be playing with your pup - if she can't understand that and gets in a huff, she would've gotten in that huff eventually anyway.

 

[BigDog2191]

Oh... that is disturbing... she has no right to come on your property without your permission and play with your dogs without your permission.. not good at all.

 

[luvmydogs]

sometimes we think cnfrontation is hard, but once u do it it may turn out pretty easy, and she may understand. dont EVER think people who are older than you are "proper grown ups". age does not matter. just think of yourself as a woman, talking to another woman, having a important conversation. i hate it when people think because they're older they can treat u as their child. but please talk to her ASAP, before she messes up your puppys behavior, trained by you. dont let her change it

 

[Renee750il]

I think I'd make sure Shadow was securely indoors - at least until she's grown - while I was gone if I were you . . . That neighbor may be completely harmless and benign, but some of the things you've described are really creepy red flags. Sneaking into your yard when you're gone is not only wrong - it's stupid. I also wouldn't want my dog to be so comfortable with a neighbor that the neighbor could walk right into my house . . . A fence with a locking gate really sound like a necessity.