Need vibes/advice

yoko

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#1
I've been sick lately. I've had a horrible cough I wa coughing up bloody mucus for a while. I ende up getting meds but still have a cough it feels like its finally going away but now I'm just sore from coughing.

My computer broke in July so I feel cut off from everything. I realize I was using a 10 year old laptop plugged into an old school monitor but that's all I had. I try and chat with my friends on my cell but sometimes it won't stay connected long enough to do so. So I haven't had my normal support group.

My supervisor who I'm kind of close to was in a motorcycle accident about the Fourth of July and had to have her toes amputated so she hasn't been at work. It happened right after I moved groups so I didn't have any of my friends there in my area any more and my supervisor wasnt there to talk to.

Since I got sick I had to spend the money for my car tags to go to the doctor and my grace month is almost up and I don't even know where that money is coming from now.

I found out earlier this week from a ten second news blip that a guy from college who use to be one of my best friends and dated a girl I called my 'sister' got released from jail. When I dropped out an my other friend left and my friend dating him broke up he went crazy and planned to shoot up the university. He put a dog head on a girls porch and they found a ton of weapons and where h had written about killing all his exs on his wall. He went to jail and told them he felt like he was programmed to be a serial killer and how he planned to return after he wa released to kill women workers there. And that's the tamer stuff. They let him out without notifying anyone even my friend on his hitlist. He doesn't even have probation.

I haven't been able to sleep for three days since finding out. I'm not even hungry I think today I had half a rice Krispy treat and two bites of pizza because food just makes me gag.

I decided to buy some food on the way home. I got a thing of chili from a grill near my house. And I don't know if the Lid wasnt on or what but it spilled on the way home. It wasnt even good chili and I don't know if it's being tired or stressed or knowing I just wasted my only not bill money to have it wasted but I've been crying since I got home and I've been home almost an hour.

I don't even think there much advice you guys could give me so vibes might help. Thank for reading my rant if anyone made it through the whole thing.
 

joce

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#2
I'm sorry your going through all of that! And having a break down and bawling is normal and healthy once in a while. Let it out.

Did they check you for tb? I keep hearing more and more have active tb.

I am guessing the guy had a psychotic break because that sounds truly crazy, not just get back at x crazy. He may be medicated now. Just be careful and if he contacts you don't respond. He likely won't show up and may be in housing far away and monitored etc. maybe no probation but monitored psych follow up?

I hope you can find some money. Anything to sell quick on craigslist?

Thinking of you!
 

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