Last year over Labor Day weekend, my 19 year old cousin hung himself at the foot of the basement stairs in the house he shared with my dad and uncle. I should point out that unfinished basements give me the creeps and always have. I really don't even like to go in my own unfinished basement, especially at night, so the idea of spending any time in a basement where someone I loved died horribly totally freaks me out. I had never been in the basement at my dad's before my cousin's death, and have not wanted to go since. Then this last February my uncle (dad's other housemate) passed away suddenly while away at a work conference. While DH and I were helping dad go through and straighten things (uncle was a hoarder), I accidentally opened the basement door thinking it was another room. If I had been able to prepare myself beforehand I think I would have been ok, but pulling open the door, thinking it led to a different room, and instead looking down at the spot Brandon had died was an awful shock-it was like a punch to the gut. I had to actually go sit down for a bit to collect myself. In my mind's eye when I picture the basement stairs I just see him hanging there--it's really horrible My plan was to avoid the basement at all costs and hope that dad would move before I ever had to go down there. However, now dad has gotten sick and has been in the hospital for a week now. He is not going to be able to go up and down the stairs for a while and the washer and dryer is in the basement, so I don't think my plan of avoidance is going to work. I feel like such a child-I'm 31 and should be able to get over it, but I'm really truly dreading this and it's stressing me out. Am I nuts for being this skeeved out? Any advice for how to deal with this as painlessly as possible?