My Uncle Died Friday.

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by sillysally, Jan 22, 2012.

  1. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    Yesterday morning when I woke up DH told me that my dad had called and my uncle had been found dead. He was at a conference for work in Indianapolis and had started not feeling well. The EMTs were called but my uncle refused treatment a wanted to go back to the conference. Not long after the ambulance left my uncle excused himself to go to the restroom, and when he didn't return they went looking for him and found him unresponsive in the bathroom. They tried to revive him but he was gone.

    I am very worried about my dad. He has been unemployed for a couple of years now and has been essentially been supported by my uncle. My uncle didn't have dad on the bank accounts so he has no access to money to even pay bills. Their rent is $800 and due in ten days.

    To complicate matter, my uncle was a hoarder. He has 3 rooms and a bathroom in that house piled with random stuff. We were going through stuff last night and found receipts from 1998. He also kept every shopping list he ever wrote. He kept old keys, batteries, pens (tons of pens), etc.

    I don't know where dad is going to go. He can't drive after dark because he has a cataract in one eye that he can't afford to have fixed.
     
  2. Barb04

    Barb04 Love my pets Staff Member

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    I'm so sorry to hear about your Uncle. I'll send vibes that things turn around for your Dad.
     
  3. Baxter'smybaby

    Baxter'smybaby swimming upstream

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    I'm so sorry. It sounds like a difficult situation--I hope things work out ok for your Dad.
     
  4. Snark

    Snark Mutts to you

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    So sorry... I hope things work out for your dad. Are there any other relatives? Do you know if your uncle had a will? If your dad is the only next of kin, maybe you can find a lawyer (pro bono) who could get the funds released.
     
  5. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    My uncle has an adopted son. Unfortunately my uncle refused to talk about end of issues, so we have no idea if there is a will. We are sifting through all of my uncles piles of stuff to try to find something.

    My dad has a sister about 2 hours away and I am gently trying to nudge him in that direction. The thing is that I have not lived with my dad since I was like, 2 years old, my parents divorced when I was small. Dad is a functioning alcoholic and we have a small house. I wouldn't let him be out on the street, but I just don't think it would work at all for him to be here.
     
  6. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    Having to untangle so many skeins while grieving is going to be taxing. So many worries amidst sorrow. I am sorry you and your family are having to make your way through this.
     
  7. ravennr

    ravennr ಥ⌣ಥ

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    Gosh, I am SO SO SO sorry to hear about your uncle.
    I just went through something similar to this with my own father. I wish I had a way to help you! I know how stressful it is to watch your dad go through this.
     
  8. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    I'm so sorry. Does anybody know what caused his death? Those unexpected and sudden deaths are really hard on loved ones.

    And I'm sorry there's such a complicated mess to go through to find out if there's any help for your Dad. So much on the family's plate along with the grief and shock is going to be a struggle for a while. I hope peace and order is found before too long. I'm very, very sorry.
     
  9. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    It was a heart attack. He did suffer from diabetes and my dad said he had been binging on sweets lately--I found tons of candy wrappers in the trash can in his room. There is a history of heart disease in the family--my grandpa had 2 heart attacks and was killed by the second one and my grandma had a couple heart attacks and angina. Dad said that lately he had been having a hard time walking across t house without being out of breath.

    I just can't believe he refused treatment-he had health insurance.
     
  10. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    Aww...that is so sad. I wonder why he refused treatment. Maybe he was just tired of it all. Poor man...
     
  11. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    He had a very strong spiritual belief that when it is your time to go, it's your time to go, so I have to wonder if that had something to do with it. My uncle had been hit very hard by the passing of my cousin (his sister's son). My cousin was 19 and had been living with my dad and uncle when he hung himself in the basement this past Labor Day weekend.

    I am literally worrying myself sick over this.
     
  12. Jules

    Jules Magic, motherf@%$*#!

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    (((((HUGS))))

    I'm sorry you lost your uncle and that you have to worry so much about your dad now :(

    I'm always here if you need an open ear.
     
  13. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    Oh...that is so tragic. Your family has had it's share of sad happenings. It could be that he wanted to just let nature takes it's course.

    (((hugs)))
     
  14. skittledoo

    skittledoo Crazy naked dog lady

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    I'm so sorry. :( I know it's really hard right now and I hope you and your family will find some peace through your grieving. Keep is updated on your dad's situation. Sending vibes that everything gets sorted out.
     
  15. cloudcandy

    cloudcandy Cloudcandy

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    So sorry to hear about this.I hope your dad is coping ok.
     
  16. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    Well, one of my dad's sisters has offered the extra room in her home to dad. I am so thankful and think it would be a good thing for both of them since they are both single, but dad wants to try to stay in the house he rented with my uncle. I guess from here on out we just play it by ear.

    I've never seen my dad so vulnerable. In the last several years he has had a lot of loss-3 of his best friends have died, 2 of diabetes and one of a heart attack, then my cousin and now my uncle. Yesterday he just seemed like a sad old man :( It hurts my heart to see him like that.
     

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