My mom

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by skittledoo, Nov 22, 2012.

  1. skittledoo

    skittledoo Crazy naked dog lady

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    Remember I posted a few weeks ago that my mom and step dad are getting divorced?

    My mom already has a boyfriend and they aren't even divorced yet. In fact, they have only been separated a very short time and were married over 20 years.

    She was so weird about how she told me about her boyfriend. It was like she was some giddy little teenage girl. Apparently he is quite a bit younger than her... Late 30's and he has two younger kids. She won't stop talkig about him. Called me today to tell me how she is having Thanksgiving with his family and brought her friends to join the fun.

    Sure I want her to be happy. But OMG I JUSt found out they are getting divorced and I'm trying to deal with that. I don't need her shoving some new boyfriend down my throat this soon.

    It's her life and she can do what she wants. If she is happy then great, but I'm not happy about the whole situation and I don't want to know every little detail about this new guy. I'm just not ready for it yet.

    I know my mom. She is a narcisstic personality type. It's all about her always and if I don't act like I'm excited for her then it will more than likely cause unneeded fights. It won't be long before she starts trying to push me to get to know him. She is already talking about the possibility of marriage down the road.

    I just need more time you know?
     
  2. Lyzelle

    Lyzelle New Member

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    I understand. My mother was the same way. With all three of her husbands. Moved in with the 2nd before she was even divorced from the first. Married the 3rd only 6 months after the 2nd one died.

    And I was supposed to be happy for her. And it was all about her. And #1 was my DAD and I had to accept it. Then #2 was my DAD and I had to accept it and #1 was an asshole. Then #2 died and he was nuts anyway so she got #3 and THAT one was my DAD and I had to get over it and accept it and be happy for her. And anything I ever said, I was just trying to ruin her life and I was so terrible and hateful and so on and so forth.

    It's hard not to get involved, especially if you are somewhat close to your mother, so sometimes the best thing is trying to ignore it and not letting it get to you.
     
  3. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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  4. Kilter

    Kilter New Member

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    My mom is an N as well. Dad, not sure if he's an N or just very supportive, or if there's much of a difference. The rest of my family, same thing.

    We are happily not around them, not in contact and don't miss them. Sounds like your mom is a classic N - I couldn't imagine being so rash with my kids, if for whatever reason I ended up single I certainly wouldn't have the 'new guy' moving in before they adjusted, at any age. So sorry you're going through that. You can PM me if you need to vent, I totally understand the 'having to act happy' thing.
     
  5. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    Seems like there are a lot of us -- DoNMs :(
     
  6. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    I would say just that ... That you just need more time, if she tries to argue then just refuse to engage her is all the Advice I have.
     
  7. Lyzelle

    Lyzelle New Member

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    Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers? Agreed. Too many of us, and it's disheartening to know even more are going through it as well.
     
  8. RedHotDobe

    RedHotDobe aka RedHotBabe

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    I was going to reply here, but I'm going to text it to you instead. So check your texts, lol.
     
  9. skittledoo

    skittledoo Crazy naked dog lady

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    Thanks so much guys. It's good to know I'm not being out of line here. I mean.. I seriously shouldn't care what she does with her life since I'm a adult and out of the house and married myself... but it still is just plain weird and so soon. She called my sister today to TELL HER on THANKSGIVING that she has a boyfriend. What... the.... hell!?!?!?!? I'm sure my sister totally wanted to learn that on thanksgiving day. It's so weird how nonchalant she was about it too.
     
  10. LindaJD

    LindaJD New Member

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    I'm sorry. That's a lot to take in in such a short time.
     
  11. Renee750il

    Renee750il Felurian

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    Definitely fits the pattern :(
     
  12. skittledoo

    skittledoo Crazy naked dog lady

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    unfortunately. :( I love her... I mean... she's my mom and I really DO try to maintain a relationship with her. But ugh...
     

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