My dying grandmother just lost her dog

[doglovertina]

I just had to share because I'm so sad right now. My husband's grandmother, who is so near and dear to me, is very ill. She's 82 and dying of emphysema. She has a little Laso Apso named Spike who is 13 years old and he is her "Baby"

Spike has arthritis, a bad back that is very tender from an old injury/surgery and also an eye that is contstantly infected. So, needless to say, he can get a little fiesty if you touch him in the wrong aread and catch him off guard.

Well, my grandmother is on Hospice and while she was being changed, Spike nipped at her. Since her skin is so paper thin, it ripped her about an inch.

The nurses reported it to dog control (they're required to) and even though my grandmother didn't want him gone, they took him away. Now he can never come back or they will require that he be euthenized.

I understand why they did this, but it is so hard to see a lonely woman on her death bed have her very dearest friend taken away.

I cry just thinking about how sad she must be! I spend the night at her house every other night (taking turns with my husband) so she's not alone, and she asks about him and breaks into tears.

I don't think I can do anything to comfort her, but I really really want to. I know if anyone would understand, there would be people on this board who would.

If anyone has any advice or words of encouragement, I could really use it.

 

[Saje]

What a heart-breaking story! We do understand Tina. that's so rough. I stayed with my Grandma while she was dying and I know how hard it is. Taking the dog away now would make it so much worse. How awful! I guess you've tried explaining your unique situation with the "Powers that Be." You'd think they'd understand. That is just so rough! I wish I could help you. Where is the dog now?

 

[doglovertina]

You're so sweet Saje, thanks. We did try to explain it but they don't want him hurting anyone that is trying to take care of her so, there's not much room to negotiate.

Spike is staying at my aunt's house. She has two huge chocolate labs and a black lab and they don't get along at all.

Poor Spike has spent his whole life sharing a bed with my grandmother and being fed gourmet canned food and pampered as any dog could be.

I think heartbreak is going to kill these two faster than any of their medical problems if we can't get him back. This just happened last week though so maybe down the road.... I don't know....

 

[Saje]

At least he's still with family...

Maybe you could give Spike a special bed with one of Grandma's sweaters and you could put lots of pictures of Spike around Grandma's bed. And then everyday tell them about each other.

Well, I think it's a good idea!

 

[Renee750il]

Perhaps they would let you bring Spike with you to visit your Grandmother so that they can spend some time together without the hospice personnel worrying about being bitten. A small dog bite isn't going to be nearly as painful as complete separation for your Grand.

Tears are always a potent weapon. (I'm not above dirty pool for a good cause!)

Best of luck with this, Tina. Your heart is in the right place and all of our hearts are with you.

 

[Barb04]

I wish I had words to comfort you and your Grandmother. Does anyone you know have a video camera that maybe you could take a video of Spike and bring it to Hospice for her to watch? I know it's not the same as Spike being there, but maybe it would being a smile to her face.

 

[Doberluv]

I am so sorry to hear this. It is a sad thing. I wish I had some answer for this problem. I do send my condolenses to you and the family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[bubbatd]

Can't you bring Spike in to visit when Hospice isn't there?? Also, he could wear a soft muzzle for safety sake. This is sooo sad!!

 

[Debi]

That is so sad. I don't have any solutions, but she'll be in my prayers. I also think the visiting idea should work. If Spike is supervised on a visit, what harm could that be?

 

[greentiger]

I am so sorry to hear this story. I think the soft muzzel is worth a try, maybe even speaking to the animal control agent so that the hospic personal can feel safer. Maybe having an hour that is set as an appointment so hospic can be on a break while you are there with Spike. Also the idea of getting him some of your grandma's clothing or blanket for him and the pictures of Spike for her. There has to be some one to talk to. And yes begging with tears is a good thing. For gosh sakes hospic is dying with dignity. Anway maybe her doctor could also help on her behalf.
Good luck and warmest thoughts to all involved.
Also is there any place for Spike to go other than the home he is in...within the family?
I feel bad for the little guy too.
Ciao
greentiger

 

[Renee750il]

Good words, Greentiger; and you are speaking from a country that originated the idea of hospice.

 

[smkie]

That is just awful..if it were me I would want my dog more than anything..there has to be a way....hospice should do better than that. When Jim's cancer went to his brain I called the family desperate for help. I had done the whole year of care, but he was 6 2 and a whole lot heavier than me..I managed to get him to the hospital and how we got down the stairs is still a miracle. After he was checked in, I went home to collect myself....this is when all his grown selfish "children"showed up like a flock of vultures. He told me on the way there not to let Julie in because he did'tn trust her but since we weren't married there wasn't anything I could do. SHe had me banned from the hospital the minute she got there. They were afraid I would "talk" dad out of his money. After he was moved to the nursing home (i have a cna and an emt and could have kept him home and comfortable with the help of a nurse) they said I could only visit once (this is after being with this man for 12 years and never seeing them except at Christmas to collect their money) anyway I snuck in...to say goodbye. I don't think he knew who I was by that time, or maybe he did,,,I will never know for he had stopped talking when they all showed up. I went right past the desk...wallked in the room..told him I loved him and I would see him in the future.....that was the last time I saw him until the funeral. They did'nt even call me to say they had cremated him....I wish u could sneak the dog in, but I suppose that is impossible. I would really try to appeal the decision. She deserves to be surrounded by what she loves, I am so sorry...I am glad that she has u there to care about what she needs for her mind as well as her body. U are a good person!

 

[doglovertina]

Thanks to all for your comments and kindness. I haven't been back on the forums since it's taken me a while to get my house back in order after taking care of her for so long. My grandmother is now staying with her daughter and her dog is with her. She's much happier now that she can see him. It's a bit bittersweet though, because her husband is now living alone, and he loved Spike very much as well, so now he's terribly lonely.

We go visit him often though and cook for him and today we played Play Dough with my two little girls... so it was fun.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks again and let you all know how much I have appreciated each of your comments.

 

[Renee750il]

That is good that she's able to stay with her daughter and have Spike with her. Does anyone take her husband to visit her regularly? This is a sad time for all of you, but you will be able to look back and have no regrets because you all took care of her and those she loved.

Check in with us when you have a chance and let us know how you are all faring. Our hearts go with you, Tina.

 

[doglovertina]

You are always so sweet and thoughtful, Renee. Yes, my husband takes his grandpa to visit her every few days, at the very least once a week.

They never got along well and she doesn't recognize people half the time anyway, so niether of them seem to need more of each other... they just need company of any sort.

So we try to spend as much time as we can with them and hope that they each are comforted by knowing that we do love them both very much.

 

[Gustav]

I really feel for you Tina!! My favourite Uncle died of emphysema last year and I know how hard it is! one day they are up and the next day really really down!! I'm glad your Grandma and Spike have been reunited, that can only be a positive thing! And remember that you need support too, we tend to forget ourselves when we are being strong for everyone else!

 

[doglovertina]

You are right, Gustav! Thanks! I do love this board, it's a great place. There are such nice people here.

 

[nicco]

So sorry Tina...I don't know what to say. Old age is such a bad thing...