My bf left me
- Thread starter cloudcandy
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CAUTION. LARGE POST AHEAD FILLED WITH MESSY QUOTES/PICTURES
I was with my high school sweet heart for 4 years. Same deal "i've waited my whole life for you, I want to marry you ,etc.." and then one day, POOF, "I want to have sex with other people".
The thing about making somebody your whole world, is that when they disappear, your ***** world falls apart.
but in the wise words of Taylor swift, "Back then I swore I was gonna marry him some day but I realized some bigger dreams of mine"
You need to learn how to happy by yourself first, and THEN find a way to let somebody in. That is why you feel so empty right now.. you CANNOT let a boy define your happiness.
Dive into what you love, find a hobby, find a friend, learn a new language, read and read ALOT.. do what you love to do and be happy with your life and trust me, love will fall into place on it's own.
I know it doesn't feel that way, and for now, it's going to SUCK. You need to sulk, watch BAD chick flicks, indulge yourself, bitch to friends, let yourself WALLOW in misery, drink heavily, bitch some more
and then get a hair cut, a new dress, pick yourself up and move on!
Let it hurt.
“The good times and the bad times both will pass. It will pass. It will get easier. But the fact that it will get easier does not mean that it doesn’t hurt now. And when people try to minimize your pain they are doing you a disservice. And when you try to minimize your own pain you’re doing yourself a disservice. Don’t do that. The truth is that it hurts because it’s real. It hurts because it mattered. And that’s an important thing to acknowledge to yourself. But that doesn’t mean that it won’t end, that it won’t get better. Because it will.â€
— John Green
"Don't ask yourself what you did wrong or how you could have done it differently. Don't waste your valuable heart and mind trying to figure out why he did what he did. Or thinking back on all the things he said, and wondering what was the truth and what was the lie. The only thing you need to know is that it's really good news: He's gone.
The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed." - He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
The "recovery" process doesn't happen over night, it's little by little, and one day, any day, you are going to sit back and realize, "wow, I haven't thought about him ALL day today" and that's when you know it's getting better. It isn't some dramatic OH MY GOD I AM OVER HIM, it's as simple as seeing a couple holding hands and not feeling a pang in your chest, as hearing his name and not wanting to cry.. One day you WILL get all that back. It can happen anytime, any day and you can't really rush it.. Just live your life best you can, immerse yourself in people and things that you love and trust me, it'll happen
and you'll look up one day and look at your past relationship with him with bittersweetness but KNOW that you are better off
NOBODY who was your true love/meant to be, walks away like that. Him leaving doesn't mean your love story is over, it just means his chapter in your story is over
In the words of TV show..
"Being in a couple is hard. And committing, making sacrifices, it’s hard. But if it’s the right person, then it’s easy. Looking at that girl and knowing she’s all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world. And if it’s not like that, then she’s not the one. I’m sorry."
If he didn't have the balls to look at you, in all your awesome, beautiful brilliance and realize you were worth it. then it is HIS LOSS and he is not the guy for you. I know that sucks to say and sucks even more to hear, but you need to understand that losing this guy is NOT losing your soul mate. No soul mate ever walks away like that
and one day somebody is going to walk into your life and make you so happy that it never worked out with anybody else and that this guy walked away
One day you are going to look back at right now and not even recognize that girl. The lonely, crying, sad, depressed girl.. but right now, you need to feel what you are feeling and trust me, IT WILL PASS.
and the day you realize you are over him, it feels amazing.
Just..stay away from him. This line has been repeated in breakups time and again.. but people don't listen. CLEAN BREAKS HEAL FASTER.
No you can't be friends right now. you can't be anything right now. Because your heart is broken and you are bleeding and trust me "better than nothing" will do nothing but hurt you even more in the end
and in the words of Nicholas Sparks
Do. Not. Call. Him.
You. are. too. Good. for. him.
I don't know who spoke these words but they never fail to be true!
your heart might be telling you all these things because it's broken, you are vulnerable and more than anything, you want to be happy again.
Running back to him seems safe, comfortable.. but you need to remember that you deserve more than someone who walked away.
Being lonely ... being alone ... for many people ... sucks. I get it, I get it, I get it. But still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel shitty or doesn't honor the person you are is worse.
break ups suck. They really do. Always.
but sometimes good things have to fall apart so better things can come together
Breakups, are supposed to be just that. Breaks. Hard, clean breaks. No talking, no seeing, no touching ... keep your hands to yourself. The relationship is over. Half the people I know move after a huge breakup, and frankly that makes perfect sense to me. You're not supposed to sleep with the guy who just broke your heart a week ago.
Fine. Next time I'm in this situation I'll cry. Stay in bed and wail. Go to the gym if I can. Call all my friends and burden them with my misery. Sleep too much. Cry some more. See my therapist more often. Get a puppy. Do whatever I have to so eventually I can move on.
Breakup sex still means you're broken up.
Cut him off. Let him miss you.
He doesn't need to be reminded that you're great.
There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed. The part part is realizing that he was lying to you, in some way, before the moment of vanishing.
Don't give him the chance to reject you again.
No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing.
Being lonely ... being alone ... for many people ... sucks. I get it, I get it, I get it. But still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel crappy or doesn't honor the person you are is worse.
Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time.
I was with my high school sweet heart for 4 years. Same deal "i've waited my whole life for you, I want to marry you ,etc.." and then one day, POOF, "I want to have sex with other people".
The thing about making somebody your whole world, is that when they disappear, your ***** world falls apart.
but in the wise words of Taylor swift, "Back then I swore I was gonna marry him some day but I realized some bigger dreams of mine"
You need to learn how to happy by yourself first, and THEN find a way to let somebody in. That is why you feel so empty right now.. you CANNOT let a boy define your happiness.
Dive into what you love, find a hobby, find a friend, learn a new language, read and read ALOT.. do what you love to do and be happy with your life and trust me, love will fall into place on it's own.
I know it doesn't feel that way, and for now, it's going to SUCK. You need to sulk, watch BAD chick flicks, indulge yourself, bitch to friends, let yourself WALLOW in misery, drink heavily, bitch some more
and then get a hair cut, a new dress, pick yourself up and move on!
Let it hurt.
“The good times and the bad times both will pass. It will pass. It will get easier. But the fact that it will get easier does not mean that it doesn’t hurt now. And when people try to minimize your pain they are doing you a disservice. And when you try to minimize your own pain you’re doing yourself a disservice. Don’t do that. The truth is that it hurts because it’s real. It hurts because it mattered. And that’s an important thing to acknowledge to yourself. But that doesn’t mean that it won’t end, that it won’t get better. Because it will.â€
— John Green
"Don't ask yourself what you did wrong or how you could have done it differently. Don't waste your valuable heart and mind trying to figure out why he did what he did. Or thinking back on all the things he said, and wondering what was the truth and what was the lie. The only thing you need to know is that it's really good news: He's gone.
The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed." - He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
The "recovery" process doesn't happen over night, it's little by little, and one day, any day, you are going to sit back and realize, "wow, I haven't thought about him ALL day today" and that's when you know it's getting better. It isn't some dramatic OH MY GOD I AM OVER HIM, it's as simple as seeing a couple holding hands and not feeling a pang in your chest, as hearing his name and not wanting to cry.. One day you WILL get all that back. It can happen anytime, any day and you can't really rush it.. Just live your life best you can, immerse yourself in people and things that you love and trust me, it'll happen
and you'll look up one day and look at your past relationship with him with bittersweetness but KNOW that you are better off NOBODY who was your true love/meant to be, walks away like that. Him leaving doesn't mean your love story is over, it just means his chapter in your story is over
In the words of TV show..
"Being in a couple is hard. And committing, making sacrifices, it’s hard. But if it’s the right person, then it’s easy. Looking at that girl and knowing she’s all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world. And if it’s not like that, then she’s not the one. I’m sorry."
If he didn't have the balls to look at you, in all your awesome, beautiful brilliance and realize you were worth it. then it is HIS LOSS and he is not the guy for you. I know that sucks to say and sucks even more to hear, but you need to understand that losing this guy is NOT losing your soul mate. No soul mate ever walks away like that
and one day somebody is going to walk into your life and make you so happy that it never worked out with anybody else and that this guy walked away
One day you are going to look back at right now and not even recognize that girl. The lonely, crying, sad, depressed girl.. but right now, you need to feel what you are feeling and trust me, IT WILL PASS.
and the day you realize you are over him, it feels amazing.
Just..stay away from him. This line has been repeated in breakups time and again.. but people don't listen. CLEAN BREAKS HEAL FASTER.
No you can't be friends right now. you can't be anything right now. Because your heart is broken and you are bleeding and trust me "better than nothing" will do nothing but hurt you even more in the end
and in the words of Nicholas Sparks
Do. Not. Call. Him.
You. are. too. Good. for. him.
I don't know who spoke these words but they never fail to be true!
your heart might be telling you all these things because it's broken, you are vulnerable and more than anything, you want to be happy again.
Running back to him seems safe, comfortable.. but you need to remember that you deserve more than someone who walked away.
Being lonely ... being alone ... for many people ... sucks. I get it, I get it, I get it. But still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel shitty or doesn't honor the person you are is worse.
break ups suck. They really do. Always.
but sometimes good things have to fall apart so better things can come together
Breakups, are supposed to be just that. Breaks. Hard, clean breaks. No talking, no seeing, no touching ... keep your hands to yourself. The relationship is over. Half the people I know move after a huge breakup, and frankly that makes perfect sense to me. You're not supposed to sleep with the guy who just broke your heart a week ago.
Fine. Next time I'm in this situation I'll cry. Stay in bed and wail. Go to the gym if I can. Call all my friends and burden them with my misery. Sleep too much. Cry some more. See my therapist more often. Get a puppy. Do whatever I have to so eventually I can move on.
Breakup sex still means you're broken up.
Cut him off. Let him miss you.
He doesn't need to be reminded that you're great.
There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed. The part part is realizing that he was lying to you, in some way, before the moment of vanishing.
Don't give him the chance to reject you again.
No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing.
Being lonely ... being alone ... for many people ... sucks. I get it, I get it, I get it. But still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel crappy or doesn't honor the person you are is worse.
Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time.
Thanks guys,yesterday was better. We talked more,because I felt I had unanswered questions.I still have some,but I'm starting to realise that's just my way of trying to get him back. Its not going to happen,now who knows what will happen in the future,I'm not focusing on that,I'm not waiting for him to realise he ****ed up,I'm going to carry on and be strong and yes I plan to take full advantage of my father feeling bad for me and let him spoil me.
I'm reading "Its called a break up because it's broken"it's by the same authors as "hes just not that into you"That's helping alot. He is still sleeping on my sofa,but he will be busy this week with a new job and is trying to stay away as much as possible,I know its not ideal but I'm not about to make him homeless,if the shoe was on the other foot I would hope the same.If he's not gone by the time I finish uni in a month or two then I plan on spending my summer with my aunt.
A big wake up call for me was realising I have three younger sisters,I need to be the example to them that no matter what a man does it doesnt break you down.I'm kinda done wallowing,my illness is clearing up and I just wanna get out there and start healing.
Thanks again for the help.Fran I may have to get all those images and print them!
I'm reading "Its called a break up because it's broken"it's by the same authors as "hes just not that into you"That's helping alot. He is still sleeping on my sofa,but he will be busy this week with a new job and is trying to stay away as much as possible,I know its not ideal but I'm not about to make him homeless,if the shoe was on the other foot I would hope the same.If he's not gone by the time I finish uni in a month or two then I plan on spending my summer with my aunt.
A big wake up call for me was realising I have three younger sisters,I need to be the example to them that no matter what a man does it doesnt break you down.I'm kinda done wallowing,my illness is clearing up and I just wanna get out there and start healing.
Thanks again for the help.Fran I may have to get all those images and print them!