I figured out what it is that Mary did for me. SHe held my hand. Sometimes she held it tight and sometimes it just brushed with lightness but she never let go. SHe was my mother, my sister, my baby, whatever I was in need of she was. WHatever I loved, she loved. OThers check on me, but no one waits for me. No one stays just because they want to. THey have other agendas.
THey nudge, they push, the demand, they need me to go in directions. SHe did not, she waited, and helped me up. WEnt my pace. SHe didn't need squirrels she was just happy with me. SHe was never in a hurry about anything. SHe liked seeing what they were up to, and would laugh at their antics but never far from my side. SHe stopped my rush and reminded me to live for the moment. I learned that from her. I learned a lot from her.
Grammy will know what i am trying to say about family. When you have mother, father, son there is such a richness to the two melding into one. IT's tight, and dense that kind of connection. I am very sorry the world is so overpopulated that more dogs and more people cannot have that opportunity. Tate and Bin, Sally and Bronki sighs I know them and they care for me so much more that it should put my human family to shame. I am guilty of letting her have a litter. It really was a silent heat at 5 months. BUt I am glad she had a daddy. She had a mother dog and a mother human, she had a husband (i know my guilt there too) and best of all she had a son. I had a son, and she had a son and we became the two mothers.
Two mothers in a house of children and children's friends is a very good thing. SHe was my second pair of eyes. THey all loved her. Having her babies, loving her babies, having her own species family i think helped her understand who i was, what i was doing and why. SHe approved. SHe helped. SHe stopped arguements and demanded peace in the house by shivering and being so miserable that she would go sit in the tub. WE never knew why, but we didn't her to feel that way, even when tempers were hot. My son and I talked about this when we had our family gathering to see her across. He said he would be so mad at me and she would come and he would feel better. SHe calmed them down and helped them see reason.
. I would tease her and ask her exactly how is it she doesn't have to do housework??? And she would just lay there and keep me company and thumpathump. Pepper has asked a hundred times today and the answer has been 95 percent NO. Mary would have known what was wrong and she would have come and warmed my heart. LEt me lay my head on her shoulder. Pepper scrubs my tears faster than they fall. Until i wrap my arms around her and hide my face in her back... but then she wants to GO. IT's cold out..too cold out and I can't make her understand. I am chilling in the first place.
I respect Mary more than I do any human on this planet for her wise and good ways, her common sense. YOu just don't know what we have been through. That jaw pain brought me to my knees and made me beg for mercy. WIthout her and Bronki there is no way I could have stood it. Try not talking or eating for 7 years. SHe always made each morning special. SHe was such a comfort to me. I loved her warmth against me and her quiet snore. I loved her tail thumping dreams. I loved the way she talked with her breath. I loved how she would thump extra hard to make a point, and back into things that made it louder. Panel doors were a favorite and so were boxes.
SHe knew what i was thinking .I believe that with all my heart. Too many times she tail thumped when i was figuring out a heavy situation. SHe put her 2 cents worth in. If you look at the photos I took on the day we went to the woods together and i told her what was going to happen you can just tell. THere was a difference. A distant look. SHe may have not known exactly but she knew a change was coming. Things were different after that, like an ingredient had been removed. I had to tell her or it would have felt like a dirty trick. We laid there and looked at the sky and listened to the birds that had forgotten we were there. I will never forget it. IT was peaceful for both of us.
IF Mary didn't like you you must have a black heart. Mary did not like one woman in particular. WE went into a pawn shop to sell my earrings. SHe dropped her head, bared her teeth, hackles from stem to stern. I trusted her judgement completely. I figured if she knew what i was thinking she knew what they were thinking too. I never worried with her on watch about prowlers, or anything. SHe was strong and forceful but she held back too. SHe PUSHED Onyx to the curb when she could have fought. She certainly was bit. But she didn't bite back, she phsyically bore into her and shoved her off her property. SHe nudged me and quietly belly growled when a perp was outside my bedroom window. She was always in control. IT was impressive. There is so much to mourn. I am having a wake I guess. I can't seem to think about anything else but all things Mary.
THey nudge, they push, the demand, they need me to go in directions. SHe did not, she waited, and helped me up. WEnt my pace. SHe didn't need squirrels she was just happy with me. SHe was never in a hurry about anything. SHe liked seeing what they were up to, and would laugh at their antics but never far from my side. SHe stopped my rush and reminded me to live for the moment. I learned that from her. I learned a lot from her.
Grammy will know what i am trying to say about family. When you have mother, father, son there is such a richness to the two melding into one. IT's tight, and dense that kind of connection. I am very sorry the world is so overpopulated that more dogs and more people cannot have that opportunity. Tate and Bin, Sally and Bronki sighs I know them and they care for me so much more that it should put my human family to shame. I am guilty of letting her have a litter. It really was a silent heat at 5 months. BUt I am glad she had a daddy. She had a mother dog and a mother human, she had a husband (i know my guilt there too) and best of all she had a son. I had a son, and she had a son and we became the two mothers.
Two mothers in a house of children and children's friends is a very good thing. SHe was my second pair of eyes. THey all loved her. Having her babies, loving her babies, having her own species family i think helped her understand who i was, what i was doing and why. SHe approved. SHe helped. SHe stopped arguements and demanded peace in the house by shivering and being so miserable that she would go sit in the tub. WE never knew why, but we didn't her to feel that way, even when tempers were hot. My son and I talked about this when we had our family gathering to see her across. He said he would be so mad at me and she would come and he would feel better. SHe calmed them down and helped them see reason.
. I would tease her and ask her exactly how is it she doesn't have to do housework??? And she would just lay there and keep me company and thumpathump. Pepper has asked a hundred times today and the answer has been 95 percent NO. Mary would have known what was wrong and she would have come and warmed my heart. LEt me lay my head on her shoulder. Pepper scrubs my tears faster than they fall. Until i wrap my arms around her and hide my face in her back... but then she wants to GO. IT's cold out..too cold out and I can't make her understand. I am chilling in the first place.
I respect Mary more than I do any human on this planet for her wise and good ways, her common sense. YOu just don't know what we have been through. That jaw pain brought me to my knees and made me beg for mercy. WIthout her and Bronki there is no way I could have stood it. Try not talking or eating for 7 years. SHe always made each morning special. SHe was such a comfort to me. I loved her warmth against me and her quiet snore. I loved her tail thumping dreams. I loved the way she talked with her breath. I loved how she would thump extra hard to make a point, and back into things that made it louder. Panel doors were a favorite and so were boxes.
SHe knew what i was thinking .I believe that with all my heart. Too many times she tail thumped when i was figuring out a heavy situation. SHe put her 2 cents worth in. If you look at the photos I took on the day we went to the woods together and i told her what was going to happen you can just tell. THere was a difference. A distant look. SHe may have not known exactly but she knew a change was coming. Things were different after that, like an ingredient had been removed. I had to tell her or it would have felt like a dirty trick. We laid there and looked at the sky and listened to the birds that had forgotten we were there. I will never forget it. IT was peaceful for both of us.
IF Mary didn't like you you must have a black heart. Mary did not like one woman in particular. WE went into a pawn shop to sell my earrings. SHe dropped her head, bared her teeth, hackles from stem to stern. I trusted her judgement completely. I figured if she knew what i was thinking she knew what they were thinking too. I never worried with her on watch about prowlers, or anything. SHe was strong and forceful but she held back too. SHe PUSHED Onyx to the curb when she could have fought. She certainly was bit. But she didn't bite back, she phsyically bore into her and shoved her off her property. SHe nudged me and quietly belly growled when a perp was outside my bedroom window. She was always in control. IT was impressive. There is so much to mourn. I am having a wake I guess. I can't seem to think about anything else but all things Mary.
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Not as close, but closer than the two PowerMotors.
