Losing my mind

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by Babyblue5290, Apr 11, 2013.

  1. Babyblue5290

    Babyblue5290 Happy Meal. Yum.

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    I just feel like I'm losing my mind lately. I feel my brain is falling out of my ears piece by piece. Some days are fine, most days are fine. I can function just fine. Most days I get light headed and fall over myself easily. I've been clumsy for a long time, but I feel like it's slowly getting worse. Even on the good days I trip over myself, I've fallen down the stairs, fallen going up the stairs, hit my head, tripped things all many times.

    The bad days, the days I feel the worst, I feel like I'm falling apart. I can't organize my thoughts correctly. I try to talk, to explain something, and though I know what I want to say, I can't seem to get it out. To get my mouth to say what my brain wants it to say. I can't think of names for things, often I try and try and try to remember the name for things, but can't. Things as stupid as pens or books or chairs. I often resort to using "that thingy" instead as it doesn't matter how long I try to think about it, the word just doesn't come.

    When I do get the words out they either don't come in the right order, or I fumble on a word often having trouble saying it at all. I did that yesterday, I said "but you are my sig.....sig-ni....." and I stopped because after trying 4 times I couldn't say the word. I just couldn't get it right and it was super frustrating, compounded by the fact my SO tried to get me to say it, but I couldn't and he couldn't understand.

    I sometimes have a really hard time following a conversation, or a paragraph, or something someone has said. I have to watch as their lips move to understand them. If I'm not looking then they say something, and though I hear the words and know what they mean I just can't seem to piece it together in my mind. It's a strange feeling and causes a lot of problems with my boyfriend. He ends up thinking I'm ignoring him, but the truth is I just couldn't understand him when I was looking somewhere else.

    My balance is always kinda bad, but some days I know where the step is, or where I want to put my feet, but suddenly I just fall to the side. That's how I fell on the stairs a few days ago. I was walking up just fine, but then I fell sideways. It's almost like someone just pushed me hard to the side. Other times it feels like I'm walking with lead bricks attached to my feet. My hands feel like I'm trying to grab things with chop sticks and to hold my pencil I often resort to grabbing it like you would a large stick.

    I have a nystagmus (eye twitching side to side randomly) and I'm more often than not tired. It's been really bad lately. I go to sleep only to wake up more tired than I was before. I can almost never seem to be rested. I walk to school and when I get there I'm panting hard even though it's a short walk.

    I feel like bugs are crawling on my skin, or I get itchy but the itch moves and I can never scratch it. My hands and feet and face go numb easily, I get pain everywhere.

    It's so frustrating. I feel like a hypochondriac or that I'm just crazy and it's all in my head. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm just losing myself and I don't know what to do. We've taught Talon to grab things and of course Art knows how to as well. I'm thankful because it's really helpful some days I feel horrible to have Talon or Art get up and grab something I've dropped, rather than risking it myself.

    I'm just so frustrated and afraid and upset. I feel like I've reached a breaking ponit and right now I just don't know how to get past it. I just don't know what to do. :(
     
  2. thehoundgirl

    thehoundgirl Active Member

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    Hugs to you.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2013
  3. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    I'm sorry to hear that, have you seen a doctor? It sounds pretty serious ... Hope ou get better soon
     
  4. Brattina88

    Brattina88 Active Member

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    Do you take any medications? Rx or not ?

    I think I would see a good neurologist if I could! I had sort-of-similar issues and it was neurological, but I knew it was caused by side-effects and a reaction to a medication I was in short term! Scary stuff :(
    ((((((Hugs))))))
     
  5. Romy

    Romy Taxiderpy

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    That sounds horrible! (((hugs))) Sorry that this is happening. It sounds like something is definitely off, those are pretty concrete symptoms.

    Do you have health insurance or a way to see a doctor? I'd definitely get in to one as soon as possible. There are a bunch of things that could cause it and you'll want to rule out any of the more serious ones, or get treatment as soon as possible either way.

    Also, do you take a multivitamin? A lot of those symptoms can be exacerbated or caused by certain deficiencies. If you take an adult multivitamin you might not be absorbing it correctly. It might be worth switching to children's chewables, and specifically taking some mega doses of vit B complex and making sure your iron levels are good.
     
  6. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    Get to the doctors!
     
  7. frostfell

    frostfell Kung Pow Fish

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    see a neurologist! its NOT "all in your head" there is something legitimately wrong, never secondguess yourself! you need to get help so you can feel okay again *hugs*
     
  8. joce

    joce Active Member

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    YES! Some meds can cause issues like this. A neurologist should be your first step!
     
  9. SaraB

    SaraB New Member

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    Yup, a trip to the doctor is needed here. (((((hugs)))))
     
  10. Babyblue5290

    Babyblue5290 Happy Meal. Yum.

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    Kind of. It's been a few years going, and when it firs started it was just everyonce in a while I'd feel like I couldn't talk right, like my tongue was inflexible and certain sounds would be weird. The random dizzyness and overall clumsiness have been happening since high school. But mostly it was not often and just not that bad so I didn't think anything of it.

    I started having nystamus' (I think that's it, eyes darting back and forth quickly) and got scared so finally went to the doctor. He said it was nothing. So that was that, but then I started getting an aura (visual migraines) so went again as I was a bit freaked lol Different doctor at this point, she said it was likely fine but sent me to a optometrist, neurologist, and a MRI anyways just to be safe.

    I went to the MRI (no contrast) they said everything looked fine :) I went to the optometrist and he said I looked ok too. :) I never went to the neurologist as honestly, MRI was fine and eyes where fine so I didn't see the point in spending the money.

    I moved and I don't have a doctor here at all and am nervous about finding one and telling them all of this. I never really told my last doctor about all of this, but that was a few years ago and it wasn't this bad or often either. Mostly I was just afraid to say anything and go through a bunch of tests just to tell me I'm fine and I'm crazy pretty much. :(

    The only things I take is tylenol when I get headaches and Vitamin B Complex daily. It was recomended to take the vitamin B suppliment from my parents doctors because people in washington they said don't get enough of it from sun or something of that nature.
    Thanks :(

    I take a B complex vitamin daily. I don't take an iron specifically, so If I find a doctor I'll have them check it.

    I don't have a doctor, but I do have insurance so I really have no excuse. Honestly, I'm just scared to go. Scared of it being nothing but in my head, and scared of what my family will say or what my boyfriend would think (he wouldn't say anything, but I'm worried he'd think I was a hypochondriac). Plus scared to try and find a doctor because that means I have to make an appointment, but honestly I really need to. :/

    Thank you! I really should've just seen the neurologist when I was first told to by my doctor >_<
     
  11. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    Keep us posted on what happens ... ((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
     
  12. StephyMei1112

    StephyMei1112 Blackout

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    How horrid it must be to have had to struggle with such symptoms! *lots of hugs and warm thoughts to you*

    Absolutely see a doctor - you have to take care of yourself and take this initiative for your own well being. Don't be concerned as to the opinions of this or that person; this is your safety and health at stake here. Your boyfriend and family would be supportive I think of you seeking a professional opinion/aid and helping you achieve stability/resolve your medical issues. There is nothing shameful about medication and you can get off of it if necessary later, but without some sort of support one way or another you are fighting this with one hand tied behind your back.

    Do take care & keep updating <3.
     
  13. speedydogs

    speedydogs Allons-y!

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    Yikes, that sounds awful :( I'm so sorry you're going through this right now.

    To second what everyone else has said - yes, please get to a doctor, and don't worry what anyone else thinks about it! It's your body, your health, and even if you're not sure it's always always better to be safe than sorry.

    Thinking of you and I hope you figure this out (((hugs)))
     
  14. joce

    joce Active Member

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    Could it be a vitamin b overdose? It can cause neuro issues. Maybe you have naturally high levels. Though I'd think it woul take more than a daily dose.
     
  15. stardogs

    stardogs Behavior Nerd

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    Vit. B is water soluable so it should be incredibly hard to OD I would think. This def sounds physical - def worth a doctor visit ASAP. It could be something super simple, but better to know than to feel like crap so long.
     
  16. Babyblue5290

    Babyblue5290 Happy Meal. Yum.

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    Thanks guys :)

    Apparently there is a doctors office here in town that is built for students and is free for a general visit. I had no idea! So I am going to make an appointment as soon as I find my insurance card, I don't know where it has run off to. But I'm going to make an appointment after I find it, :)
     
  17. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    Best of luck to you at the doctors.
     
  18. Babyblue5290

    Babyblue5290 Happy Meal. Yum.

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    Thanks, I'm really nervous, which is probably why I haven't got to looking for my ins card yet. >_<
     

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