I just feel like I'm losing my mind lately. I feel my brain is falling out of my ears piece by piece. Some days are fine, most days are fine. I can function just fine. Most days I get light headed and fall over myself easily. I've been clumsy for a long time, but I feel like it's slowly getting worse. Even on the good days I trip over myself, I've fallen down the stairs, fallen going up the stairs, hit my head, tripped things all many times. The bad days, the days I feel the worst, I feel like I'm falling apart. I can't organize my thoughts correctly. I try to talk, to explain something, and though I know what I want to say, I can't seem to get it out. To get my mouth to say what my brain wants it to say. I can't think of names for things, often I try and try and try to remember the name for things, but can't. Things as stupid as pens or books or chairs. I often resort to using "that thingy" instead as it doesn't matter how long I try to think about it, the word just doesn't come. When I do get the words out they either don't come in the right order, or I fumble on a word often having trouble saying it at all. I did that yesterday, I said "but you are my sig.....sig-ni....." and I stopped because after trying 4 times I couldn't say the word. I just couldn't get it right and it was super frustrating, compounded by the fact my SO tried to get me to say it, but I couldn't and he couldn't understand. I sometimes have a really hard time following a conversation, or a paragraph, or something someone has said. I have to watch as their lips move to understand them. If I'm not looking then they say something, and though I hear the words and know what they mean I just can't seem to piece it together in my mind. It's a strange feeling and causes a lot of problems with my boyfriend. He ends up thinking I'm ignoring him, but the truth is I just couldn't understand him when I was looking somewhere else. My balance is always kinda bad, but some days I know where the step is, or where I want to put my feet, but suddenly I just fall to the side. That's how I fell on the stairs a few days ago. I was walking up just fine, but then I fell sideways. It's almost like someone just pushed me hard to the side. Other times it feels like I'm walking with lead bricks attached to my feet. My hands feel like I'm trying to grab things with chop sticks and to hold my pencil I often resort to grabbing it like you would a large stick. I have a nystagmus (eye twitching side to side randomly) and I'm more often than not tired. It's been really bad lately. I go to sleep only to wake up more tired than I was before. I can almost never seem to be rested. I walk to school and when I get there I'm panting hard even though it's a short walk. I feel like bugs are crawling on my skin, or I get itchy but the itch moves and I can never scratch it. My hands and feet and face go numb easily, I get pain everywhere. It's so frustrating. I feel like a hypochondriac or that I'm just crazy and it's all in my head. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm just losing myself and I don't know what to do. We've taught Talon to grab things and of course Art knows how to as well. I'm thankful because it's really helpful some days I feel horrible to have Talon or Art get up and grab something I've dropped, rather than risking it myself. I'm just so frustrated and afraid and upset. I feel like I've reached a breaking ponit and right now I just don't know how to get past it. I just don't know what to do.