Lord, give me the strength

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by sparks19, Apr 7, 2012.

  1. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    To deal with the my dads visit.

    don't get me wrong... I love my father, I really really do but OMG he is so hard to be around anymore. He just puts everyone on edge, even Hannah.

    First he starts in with all his "stupid americans" B.S. and how this is superior in canada and this is superior and blah blah blah but THEN he wants us to run all over God's creation to buy things that are on sale here for a ton cheaper than he can get them back home for my sister. I mean, He wants us to drive an hour each way for a stupid cart that you pull behind a bike for my sisters kid because it's on sale for $89. Ok ... so are you or her going to pay for my gas to get there an back? Gas isn't cheap you know. Most of the days he's here he wants us to go to this store so he can look for something my sister wants or go to another store for something on sale and so on and so forth. I dont' know about you but shopping all day is not my ideal and it certainly isn't Hannah's idea of fun.

    Then on top of all that he just will NOT stop picking on Hannah. I swear, every 5 minutes he's teasing her with something. Everytime she opens her mouth he's all "Oh you gotta be quiet... shhh" "Nope shhh quiet" "Oh sounds like you are talking gotta be quiet" until she's worked into a complete fluster. Then he gets her going with "I'm going to eat all y our easter candy and there won't be any for you" and then he keeps on that until she's in total whiney meltdown mode. I keep telling him to knock it off but he's so stubborn and ridiculous that he doesn't seem to get that this is NOT OK with me. I've lost it a few times and while I hate to say it in front of Hannah I have looked at him a few times and said "Will you please just SHUT UP and leave her alone"

    I've now got her set up in my room with a movie to watch by herself just to get her away from him for a while so she can RELAX and not be on edge at every turn.

    he just causes so much STRESS when he is around and I hate it because he's my father and I love him but I really don't like him much these days. he's so difficult to be around.

    God just please give me the strength and patience to get through until wednesday morning when he leaves
     
  2. eddieq

    eddieq Silence! I ban you! Staff Member

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    In my experience, asking God for patience results in many opportunities to be patient :)

    Anyway, sounds like your dad is an EGR (extra grace required). I hope you get through the holidays without too much more drama.
     
  3. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    LOL that's a good way of putting it.

    I know God has a lesson here for me :rofl1:
     
  4. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    Deep breaths and counting to 10 are your friends....

    I love my dad very much as well, but yeah, 5 straight days of nothing but "dad time" would push the limits--lol.....
     
  5. MericoX

    MericoX Roos, Poos, & a Wog!

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    Have dad stay at a hotel.
     
  6. Puckstop31

    Puckstop31 Super-Genius

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    He is a challege that is for sure. But ill take the lemonade approach. Lol. He is further proof of a few things I believe.


    Plus, its been fun proving him wrong just about everytime he opens his yap with some of his BS. He is one of those "I saw it in an email" types.

    This said. He is my FIL and my elder. Ill respect him unless he gets really out of hand. At this point, I dont think he knows how annoying and full of crap he is. Ignorance is bliss. Lol.
     
  7. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    You know sparks, maybe a little quality one-on-one father-in-law/son-in-law time is in order for Puck and your dad. An alllll day fishing trip or something...... :D
     
  8. Kristen1980

    Kristen1980 Guest

    Great idea but isn't he already there? Just can't boot him out but maybe an idea for next time?

    My father in law is JUST like this! He'll go far and wide just for the cheapest thing and my mother inlaw will drive the kids nuts.

    I have learned patience and perseverance these last 2yrs since Cardyn's been born ;)
     
  9. Kristen1980

    Kristen1980 Guest

    Poor Hannah :( Wish we lived closer so the girls could have playdates :D
     
  10. Xandra

    Xandra Active Member

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    Aww I'm so sorry for you guys. Nothing like overbearing and obtuse to drive a person up the wall lol. Hopefully his visit passes tolerably for everyone.
     
  11. Puckstop31

    Puckstop31 Super-Genius

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    :rofl1:

    If only you know how ironic this idea is. Lol. The man is a "fisherman". Bullshit stories and all. Lol.

    Still, I would do it in a heartbeat to give Tanya a break.
     
  12. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    Thanks everyone. Its comfOrting to know that others feel my pain lol

    He got here yesterday morning and leaves wednesday morning.

    I can handle it, I am used to him but how much he is irritating hannah is the most bothersome to me. Like, why is it funny to make a 4 year old upset by saying you are going to eat all her easter candy? And she has such a good heart, she keeps saying "we can share it" lol and when we went to the easter egg hunt this afternoon the first thing she said after it was over was "can I share some chocolate with daddy and grandpa". God I love that kid
     
  13. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    Awww, what a sweetheart!

    At the very least you can appreciate what a good little munchkin you are raising!
     
  14. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    Can Hannah understand if you say that Grampa isn't really going to take her candy, that he's being silly and joking and she should say, "Oh Grampa, you're such a silly goose." Would she get the "humor?" I forget how old she is exactly. Yeah, that sounds very annoying. Is he able to sit down and have a heart to heart with you while you explain that Hanna is too young to find his teasing fun or funny and that you think it's too much for her. Or is he still just going to be barreling along in his own way no matter what. Otherwise, yeah...you will need strength to get through these next days. Maybe you and Hannah can go do some "errands" that take all day. lol. That is so cute and sweet what she said. That's what I love about little kids that age...they're just so pure and dear.
     
  15. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    She gets that its a joke but he takes it too far. One time is funny but then he says it again and again and again and again until she is upset or I tell him to knock it off. Then ten minutes later he starts it again with something else like "oh well guess you have to go to bed". She will laugh... She gets its a joke at first but then he keeps on it and on it and on it until everyone is ready to choke him lol. Like tonight he kept taking something she had and puttig it in his pocket saying he was going to take it home. She played along until it got past the point of being funny to her and was just making her sad and she just said "please grandpa can I have it back" in the saddest little voice and he then stopped an gave it back to her but seriously this happened DOZENS of times today.

    He is very hard to have a serious conversation with. He doesn't ever want to be serious about anything and he just keeps on with the way he is.

    The older he gets the worse it gets. I don't know why that is
     
  16. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    Oh wow! Okay, I'm sensing this is not joking around. That sounds like genuine bullying. That's going way too far....sadistic. I think I'd have to tell him next time he'll have to stay in a motel and have limited interactions with Hannah. I'm afraid too much of that sh** could have lasting and detrimental effects, don't you? Even if he is your father, duty to respect can only go so far. When your child is endanger, whether it's physical or emotional, I think I'd tend to put my child first. Did he do that to you Sparks, when you were little?
     
  17. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    Actually, this is a really good idea. ;) Take your cell phone with you. When Sparks calls and tells you Hannah is fast asleep, you can pack up Grandpa and trudge on home. "Ok....she's asleep Grandpa, safe to take you back now." :p
     
  18. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

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    Well we only see him about 2 weeks each year so I am not too worried about the lasting effects since we see him so little.

    I honestly don't remember him being like this. Its only in the last few years that I have really noticed it. More so since his father died a year and a half ago. He has gotten worse since then. I think i posted after his last trip about how worried i was about him and his health, both mental and physical

    I honestly don't recall him being like this. I mean, we have always been a very jokey, poke fun at each other family but this is different. He's changed... A LOT

    Brian even texted me tonight and said "does he ever say anything nice to you?" and really i can't think of anything recently but I remember in school and even a few years ago he was always a cheerleader for me. He would
    Come to all my wrestling matches and cheer me on and encourage me in everything. This isn't right... This isn't the man I grew up with
     
  19. Puckstop31

    Puckstop31 Super-Genius

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    At this point, he is just annoying. A programmed robot if you will. He does not realize how damaging or biased he is. Typical xenophobe he is.

    If it ever crosses the line of being purposefully mean, we will cross that bridge as the Lord deals it to us.
     
  20. RD

    RD Are you dead yet?

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    Some people are so frustrating around kids. "Be quiet, be quiet, be quiet". My dad was that way when I was growing up, and while I understand some people like quiet, at some point it does get incredibly frustrating for kids. Especially when they can't go outside to get all the noise-making out of their system.

    Good luck with your dad, Tanya.
     

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