Living with someone advice/If your SO wanted to live with someone of opposite sex..

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by Fran101, Apr 28, 2013.

  1. CaliTerp07

    CaliTerp07 New Member

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    FYI, you will be on the hook for the entire lease, regardless if he chooses to move out and not pay any more. My husband had a roommate before we were married. Both names were on the lease. Roommate chose to move back to his home country 3 months into the lease, and left my husband with 2 days notice.

    Zach talked to the leasing office, and they told him too bad--both of you are responsible for 100% of the lease if the other bails. They don't care who pays the rent, only that it is paid.

    He even talked to a lawyer about small claims court. Lawyer said don't bother, there was nothing that could be done. Zach ended up having to find a last second roommate on craigslist to pay the rent.
     
  2. milos_mommy

    milos_mommy Active Member

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    Cali - here when I was on the lease with another person, my roommate accused them of not paying (she actually wrote the wrong apartment # on a summons for housing court :rolleyes:).

    We both went to court. We never actually got in front of the judge, because when her lawyer showed up (without her) and found out what she had done, he just had this slip that said we were both paid up and had the judge sign it in between cases, BUT what would have happened had one of us not paid and the other could prove payment (copies of checks), they would be entirely responsible for whatever they didn't pay.

    It might depend on the area where you live, and it doesn't sound like that apartment would be hard to fill at all, but I wouldn't automatically assume you might be responsible if he bailed on the lease.

    ETA: in Zach's case it sounds like while both people were on the lease, it was never stipulated who paid what. Fran, you might want to come up with a contract between you and your roommate, separate from the landlord's lease, stating how you're dividing up payments, unless the lease already does that.
     
  3. Jules

    Jules Magic, motherf@%$*#!

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    Fran, I wish you the best of luck and I hope that your friendship will make it through all this unharmed.

    I think the reaction here is almost over the top in your eyes because we care and because a lot of us have been there. We have walked into situations similar to yours with people we knew just as well, were just as sweet as your friend, and ended up in a drama and frustrations.

    Take a step back and think about what you would tell

    a) someone who was in your shoes, and
    b) a friend who was in the situation of your friend's gf.
     
  4. CaliTerp07

    CaliTerp07 New Member

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    Yes, that was exactly the issue. The lawyer said without a contract explicitly saying who was responsible for what (notarized or whatever), Zach was out of luck. Something to think about.

    Fran, at the end of the day it's obviously your choice. I just think you might want to contemplate...if the majority of people (who have been there/done that/lived to tell the tale) are telling you it's a bad idea, there is probably a reason why. Sometimes it's hard to see the big picture when you're in the middle of things.
     
  5. RD

    RD Are you dead yet?

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    I live with two dudes in a two-bedroom apartment. I share a bedroom with one even though it's not like THAT.

    Honestly? Be neat/tidy (I know you are) and don't flood the place with your friends, and I think you'll be fine.

    As for his girlfriend, sure she's in the right to ask if she can meet you. You're also in the right to say no if it makes you uncomfortable.
     
  6. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    The fact that he is not living with his GF yet tells me that it's not serious enough (in a guys mind) to be called a "relationship". Go to dinner but IMHO don't stand for any attitude from her, like he said & I would tell her ( But I'm not talking you to, I'm just saying what I would say) "your insecurities aren't my problem, you should be talking to your BF about them, not me. Your I'm a relationship wih him not me." & leave it at that.

    I did (still do) have a couple of very good guy friends whom I haven known for ever ... One of them had a GF who flat out decided she didn't like me (or another girl he talked to) long story short they ended up breaking up but that was her insecurities not mine.
     
  7. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    Erm, DH and I were ENGAGED before we lived together....
     
  8. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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    Erm, you should IMO be pretty serious about someone before moving in together! I personally think living together before marriage is a good idea, but one certainly would not live with every serious or semi-serious partner in their lives. And plenty of people prefer to wait til marriage before moving in together.

    This thread is really pretty dead as far as the OP goes, but yeah, if one responded that way to a girlfriend thats just setting up the whole situation to be miserable.
     
  9. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    Yes but it doesn't sound like HE is very serious about her by the way he is talking about her. Besides, she is moving in ... It's a done deal.

    I for one wouldn't be worried about my OH rooming with a chick because I trust him! (But He wouldn't unless he was in dire straits).

    One thing this GF doesn't need to be is insecure ... That's only going to make their relationship first (hate HATE girls who are all "who were you talking to?" "Who was SHE!?" Ugh it makes our whole gender look bad!)

    Besides the OP a already said it was a done deAl anyway. So please keep us posted on what happens. I just don't think the OP should be made out to be "the bad guy" when all the issues are stemming from the girlfriend.
     
  10. Fran101

    Fran101 Resident fainting goat

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    Oh figured I would update.. we went to dinner and it was lovely :) we might even get our dogs together to play.

    I really do not think this is a case of "oh ew she's so insecure" or "she should just trust him and obviously she doesn't"
    she has feelings, she told him about it, she felt better once she met me so.. voila.

    As for the lease, as I said in the whole original post, if he does up and leave, it's a student city. It's not IDEAL to dig around for random room-mates or have one of my friends move-in (at least my close girl friends lol love em but would rather not live with them) but it's a very easy thing to do. I wouldn't just be stuck with the lease on my own

    Also.. as for "they aren't serious because they don't live together".. that very much depends on the couple. Many couples don't move in til marriage, some like their own living space while they are living in the city, some just like living on their own and don't mind living separately for a while, some are long distance.. it very much depends.
     
  11. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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  12. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

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    OIC it just seemed like everyone was kind of ganging up on her for choosing to have her friend as a roommate rather then a stranger, which to me seemed like the best choice.

    I am also glad to hear the dinner went well
     
  13. ~Dixie's_Mom~

    ~Dixie's_Mom~ ♥Chloe & Violet♥

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    Glad it went well :)
     

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