Letter to our pets

Discussion in 'Dog Jokes and Cartoons' started by juliefurry, Jul 5, 2005.

  1. juliefurry

    juliefurry Rusty but Trusty

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    I got this in an email today and found it sort of amusing.



    Dear pets,

    When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch
    positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

    The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
    dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in
    the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming
    your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
    me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
    fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
    about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
    your comfort.

    Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not
    necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
    fullest extent possible.

    I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging
    out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
    some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
    necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw
    under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
    same door I entered.

    Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline
    attendance is not mandatory.

    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
    I cannot stress this enough!



    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
    front door:

    Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

    1. They live here. You don't.

    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
    (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

    3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.

    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who
    is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

    5. Dogs and cats are better than kids...they eat less, don't ask for
    money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never
    drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or
    drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear
    your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if
    they get pregnant, you can sell the children.
     
  2. nedim

    nedim New Member

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    LOL, that is hilarious!
     
  3. Barb04

    Barb04 Love my pets Staff Member

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    I love it, especially:

    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
    (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
     
  4. showpug

    showpug New Member

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    I want that posted on my front door. ;)
     
  5. juliefurry

    juliefurry Rusty but Trusty

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    I'm sure LOTS of people would like that one their front doors! I can't help but say I just LOVE your little pug puppy, Showpug! (S)He is just SO STINKIN CUTE! I'd love to get a little pug lookin puppy but my husband doesn't think their "macho" enough :rolleyes: .
     
  6. poeluvr

    poeluvr New Member

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    i must agree precious showpug
     
  7. mrose_s

    mrose_s BusterLove

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    lol, gotta love it
     
  8. juliefurry

    juliefurry Rusty but Trusty

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    mrose there are so many nice dogs on that website in your signature. I would LOVE to adopt one but I'm too far.
     
  9. AmberwayGSD

    AmberwayGSD GSDGurl

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    That was soo funny I loved it.Thank you for making my day better.
     
  10. Dakotah_2009

    Dakotah_2009 OOO YEA SHHHAKE IT!!

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    That was so funny!!! I love the 2nd one as well!
     
  11. juliefurry

    juliefurry Rusty but Trusty

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    I'm glat this post can make y'all laugh. I hoped it would atleast make someone smile
     
  12. Sheba

    Sheba I W A L R

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    I was giggling and laughing to myself all the way!
     
  13. Sirius

    Sirius Imagination ROCKS.

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    lol i posted that on my door!
     
  14. Zoom

    Zoom Twin 2.0

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    This was the one that me El Oh El.
     
  15. Doberluv

    Doberluv Active Member

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    That is the best!!! I loved that. Thanks for sharing.
     

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